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Aibu or DP? Perspective needed

(11 Posts)
Tiredsndupset Sat 18-Nov-17 00:58:01

DP and I live in different countries with a time difference.

Due to both our working hours it's been difficult to talk as much as usual this week. We still talk every day but usually have long leisurely conversations that are relaxed rather than one of us needing to rush off.

As its Friday we'd agreed to talk properly tonight at midnight. Now DP had a semi casual meeting that was meant to finish, then be back home.

As it was it went longer and the woman my DP was meeting with took them out for food. I'm shattered and can't stay awake anymore so just said I am going to sleep via text in response to text saying this had happened. I'd have to stay up until after one to before we could start a call. Then, the text I got in response to my saying I'm going to bed was just ok I love you. No mention of ok let's talk tomorrow.

I feel hurt at another woman being prioritised over me. However, I am very very tired and I feel shitty and weepy anyway from tiredness so I fully admit I might be unreasonable.

I don't want to bring it up if I'm just being over sensitive and unreasonable? Am I?

yorkshireyummymummy Sat 18-Nov-17 01:09:45

Yes you are!
Don't stress though, we have all had moments of insecurity.
Get to bed, put a mediation/ relaxing music on your phone and drift off into a non stress sleep.
When you wake up and read this you will ( hopefully!!) see that you have been a bit OTT.
Your DP is in work mode- men are not known for their long, chatty text messages. He needed to be quick and he told you he loved you. You say you speak every day- I expect it didn't cross his mind to tell you that he would talk tomorrow., it's simply a given to him.
Now pull up your big girl pants, wipe your face and GET TO SLEEP,
Night night 💤😴😴

yorkshireyummymummy Sat 18-Nov-17 01:11:03

And she's not ' another woman'
It's a business meeting!!

confusedlittleone Sat 18-Nov-17 06:20:12

No your not. Getting food wasn't part of the meeting. He should of come home to talk

Olicity17 Sat 18-Nov-17 07:19:35

You need some sleep.

Sometimes meetings end up like this. Walking out because you need to hace a long catch up, isnt always that easy.

He text that he loves you. You can chat over the weekend. Being upset that he didnt say that is daft. You are a couple, he may not feel the need to point out that you will talk tomorrow.

Get some rest and I am sure you will feel better tomorrow.

Cakefortea1 Sat 18-Nov-17 07:25:09

I have a ldr so I completely understand. I have had moments like that but I’ve learned to put the phone away. Don’t respond. He is just in work mode. He loves you. Just let it go. He would have been stressed & torn. Bet all is good today flowers

TheFifthKey Sat 18-Nov-17 07:25:52

LDRs are hard - I’m in one and both my BF and I have experienced that grumpy, deflated feeling when you feel as though the other person has prioritised something over you. The only was we’ve found to deal with it is to be really upfront - “I’m sorry I’m a bit weird but I felt annoyed you took a nap/went out with friends etc rather than talking to me. I was tired and cross and felt neglected”. That’s not accusatory or guilt-tripping, just being clear about feelings. It’s alwayd helped a lot to clear the air and also make it easier for us to know how to act - so if we’re going to be tied up at a time we’d usually chat, we let each other know what’s going on, how long for, when we can talk again. Not checking up but just trying to keep communicating clearly. Or your imagination can run wild, that’s just the nature of a LDR.

TathitiPete Sat 18-Nov-17 07:27:03

Getting food wasn't part of the meeting. He should of come home to talk

That might come across as a bit unprofessional.
Oh, that meeting did end a bit late, I'm famished. Would you like to join me for a bite to eat?
Soz, no can do. Said I'd ring my girlfriend. Smell ya later.

Only1scoop Sat 18-Nov-17 07:31:26

What time would it have been for him?

Were there others at the meeting?

I’d say yabu but we all feel a bit sensitive now and then.

ICanNeverThinkOfAGoodUsrname Sat 18-Nov-17 07:54:00

It might have been that food wasn't originally on the agenda but, from experience (both from myself and DH), sometimes you really can't turn down dinner or drinks when it's tagged on to the end of a meeting or when doing so would be a very silly move.

I think you were a bit unreasonable but I hope that after some sleep you won't feel as hurt by it.

jeaux90 Sat 18-Nov-17 08:45:23

I think you are just tired. The woman is a business colleague first and foremost and you can't say no to a business dinner sometimes. These things happen. This is so normal in my business world.

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