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AIBU re shitting man

(734 Posts)
Sarahjconnor Fri 17-Nov-17 20:56:19

I need to know if IABU and if not, help to resolve this.

I have my own business and provide services for children/adults in an office setting. It is a small office, with one small windowless loo for staff/clients. I am currently working with a fantastic teen on a sat morn and it's going very well. Unfortunately her Dad has developed a routine of dropping her, heading to buy the papers and a massive coffee, enjoying these in my waiting area and then locking himself in the toilet for 20 mins, and doing the most foul stinking revolting shit that was ever shat anywhere, ever. It is just awful. This has been going on for 5 weeks and I cant deal with it again. Last week we had to have all the office windows open for 30 mins and even then it lingered. And it's freezing.

So AIBU to pretend the toilet is broken tomorrow? Do you have a better idea.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Fri 17-Nov-17 20:58:20

'STAFF ONLY' sign required, I think.

GabriellaMontez Fri 17-Nov-17 20:59:10

YANBU. Big sign on the door.

Sarahjconnor Fri 17-Nov-17 20:59:21

Just for when he's here - the clients are welcome to use the loo

Sarahjconnor Fri 17-Nov-17 21:00:43

My assistant will be working with me the other option is for him to occupy the toilet when the shitting dad is in the building! haha he can do prep work locked in the toilet grin

Assistant actually described the smell as 'what Mordor must smell like' last week

Worriedobsessive Fri 17-Nov-17 21:00:56

You might have to shame him a bit. “Morning Brian. Come for a big cistern shattered?”

Worriedobsessive Fri 17-Nov-17 21:02:02

Or speak to the daughter. “Your Dad shits here every morning.” That would be enough to horrify even the most doting daughter.

concretejungle Fri 17-Nov-17 21:02:17

The poor man might have a medical problem?

biffyboom Fri 17-Nov-17 21:02:44

Pop an out of order sign on the door just before they arrive.

sad9999 Fri 17-Nov-17 21:03:01

I would tell him the toilet blocked last week only liquid no solids in it please

Worriedobsessive Fri 17-Nov-17 21:03:08

One that requires him to get the papers and a coffee and settle in???

Moanyoldcow Fri 17-Nov-17 21:03:59

What the fuck is wrong with people?! Deffo get the 'STAFF ONLY' sign. He can do his shit in the coffee shop.

iamghosted Fri 17-Nov-17 21:06:40

Urgh, revolting man.

Put a ladies sign in the door.

Sarahjconnor Fri 17-Nov-17 21:07:00

concrete - he may well. Or perhaps he's eaten a dead dog? I don't know but I literally cant face it tomorrow.

sad - that has cracked me up 'after last week' OMG that's so PA and perfect.

worried - she is already aware. Poor love is mortified. She had her head in her hands as we opened the windows and she said 'mum goes nuts when he uses the upstairs bathroom'. Tbh her mortification is the worst aspect of it but we've just laughed and moved on.

EvieBlack Fri 17-Nov-17 21:07:39

Say “Sorry it’s been blocked since last Saturday”

Sarahjconnor Fri 17-Nov-17 21:11:04

imag - Ladies shits that smell of flowers only grin

Sarahjconnor Fri 17-Nov-17 21:12:51

Evie - right that's it - 2 votes and it's a done deal.

I'm going to say in a Papa Lazarou style - "there is a blockage in the toilet since last Saturday Dave" (thats not his name btw non League of gentlemen fans)

Mulberry72 Fri 17-Nov-17 21:13:27

Definitely put a sign on the door! Awful man!

NancyDonahue Fri 17-Nov-17 21:18:00

This would solve it.

lottieandmia22 Fri 17-Nov-17 21:20:24

God some people have got such a cheek. He must be doing it on purpose if he’s drinking coffee first.

Bringmewineandcake Fri 17-Nov-17 21:20:43

Why is he staying? Can’t you just wave him off and say come back at the end of her shift?

LipstickHandbagCoffee Fri 17-Nov-17 21:20:50

No, don’t talk to the daughter it’s not her responsibility if dad download. in your bogs
Do put up a staff only sign
Do get someone to occupy it so he can’t use it. Is it a wc you can look the door from outside,the flat circular screw that opens with a coin

LipstickHandbagCoffee Fri 17-Nov-17 21:22:10

Lock, from outside. Flat circular screw on exterior door,open with coin
God almighty I doubt you’d want to look given the other olfactory stimuli

maddiemookins16mum Fri 17-Nov-17 21:22:13

Sorry, couldn't resist.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Fri 17-Nov-17 21:23:28

Get some VIPoo. It really works!

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