Its another nursery one.....

[Myusername101]

Ill try and keep it brief, DD is 8 and a half months old.
She has to eat/drink
breakfast at 7 (pooridge and a bottle of cows milk)
At bottl of foemula at 10
Lunch between 11.30 and 12
A bottle of formula at 2
Tea at 4.30
Bottle of formula before bed at 6.30

Nursery have been hinting for about two weeks that she doesn't need her 10am bottle, i have just sort of ignored the honts because tbh i dont thinm its their business, sometimes she drinks it and sometimes she doesnt but its up to me if i want to waste milk surely?

Anyway she is in nursery 3 days a week (M W F) on monday one bottle came home untouched, i thoight maybe i was going mad and gave her too many to take in, wednesday the same thing happened so i said something along the lines of "oh right i would prefer she still has it please even she doesnt drink it" they said "oh she has fruit and things with the other children now" i said "i'd still prefer her to have the 10 oclock bottle so i know shes drinking enough" and just got fobbed off with "oh but she is"

Fast forward to today ive had an awful few nughts with her having an ear infection, coulsnt possibly take today off and had no body to help me so had to send her in, we had been at GP's over her ear so she didnt go in until 10ish.

I specifically said when i dropped her off she hasnt had a very good night, (we had a nightmare at the GP's and i had to go and take her ear swab to the hospital myself ) so she hasnt eaten or drank since about 7.

She was asleep when i dropped her off but i said " i know dinner is at 11.30 but because she hasnt been very well and not eaten or drank since 7 can she please have that bottle when she wakes up" was told "yes absolutely no problem"

I rang nursery just now to ask how she is as i feel bad sending her in and they said "shes fine she didnt get up till 11ish though so we didnt give her bottle just made her wait till lunch"

Im fuming!! I specifically said she was to have it, ive had this conversation several times about her having that bottle but i know im really not assertive and suffer really bad anxiety and getting my point across can be really hard for me.

I dont think its nurseries place to tell me what i feed my baby! Im her mum and i pay them surely they should do as i say? Even if i wanted her to have a bottle on the hour every hour - that should be my decision not theres!

So lovely mumsnetters, AIBU? and if im not how do i make the nursery see my POV without coming across as a bitch or one of "those mums"

[Changerofname987654321]

YABU to sent her to nursery ill.

They should be giving her the formula.

BTW at 8 months cow milk is fine in food but should not be given as a drink.

[BaffledMummy]

YANBU ...I would be upset at this too. My nursery used to regularly ask if I wanted to drop a feed but when I said no, they continued to feed her as requested. I understand it’s easier for them not to have to do individual feeds during they day so are keen to drop them as soon as possible, but thy are wrong to deliberately ignore your request. Complain to the manager?

[Raver84]

Honestly if it were me I'd just let them get on with it as she's only there three days a week. I prob wouldn't have sent her if she's very poorly.

[MrsOverTheRoad]

You really shouldn't send a sick baby to nursery.

[Sirzy]

You are lucky they let her come in when so ill.

[Raver84]

Also if you want her to drink the formula mid morning you should not give her a bottle of cows in the morning just give her a wake up formula followed with breakfast and a sippy cup of water. Then she may want the mid morning formula

[CorbynsBumFlannel]

If your kid's ill you need to take the day off - they come first. If you were throwing up all day your workplace would have to find cover.
But to answer your question since it hasn't just been an issue this time I think they should be offering her a bottle and I'd have a chat with the manager about it.

[purplemunkey]

You shouldn't have sent her in I'll really.

On the bottle, I don't know - if she doesn't need it, why keep giving it to her?

My DD dropped her midday bottle whilst at childcare. I too noticed an unused bottle and asked. They says they'd offered it but she didn't want it, so I just stopped packing it.

Overall though, if you don't trust them or aren't happy with their care and/or communication I'd switch provider. I wouldn't like it if my requests were ignored.

[Yura]

To be honest, i never gave the nursery a feeding schedule, they feed on demand! Feeding schedules are really not recommended, except for children with other issues.
i would be much more concerned about a nursery taking in a child ill enough to require a GP visit on the day!

[Myusername101]

I had no choice it was send her in or get a disciplinary at work. I asked my mum and my friend but they both said no. I already feel bad about it

[EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck]

They shouldn't be deciding when to drop feeds, you're her mother. YANBU.

[Amatree]

There's something very wrong with your situation if you have to send an ill child to nursery or get a disciplinary. Employers have to allow reasonable time off for sorting childcare in an emergency-it's not grounds for a disciplinary!

[Ssdw]

I dont think you are being unreasonable, and they should have offered her the milk. Im not sure why they are so keen on her to drop her midmorning milk. At 8 months it is fine and normal to have a bottle in the morning,one mid morning and one mid afternoon, as well as one in the evening plus 3 meals.
Are you worried that she doesnt have enough fluid if they start giving her fruit at snacktimes? Do they offer her water during the day ( boiled and cooled down obviously)?
If she had no fluid between 7am and lunchtime then she must have been pretty thirsty. Did they offer her water at least when she woke up?

[CorbynsBumFlannel]

You're entitled to parental leave. You can't be disciplined because your child is ill.

[Myusername101]

I didnt ask tbh but thats what im worried about that she was thristy and they dodnt give her anything, ill ask if she had water when i pick her up.

[strangerlings]

I'd be fuming too. You're the parent. Also, the nursery we use takes kids when they're ill, no idea what Everyone is getting so crazy about? I swear if I kept him off every time he was ill I'd never be at work? Kids get ill aaallll the time in the first few years of life. So I wouldn't feel bad about that aspect.

[Nicknacky]

I think it must be difficult for nurseries to keep different feeding schedules for every child so I can see why they have a routine. She will be getting enough milk throughout the day.

You are being so unreasonable to send a baby to nursery for an ear infections. I don't know what your answer was but you were lucky they took her.

[Afreshstartplease]

Why are you giving her cows milk

[YellowFlower201]

This has made me really sad for you. You’re obviously in a difficult situation if you can’t get help and have to send her in anyway. I hope the job front sorts itself out.

Yanbu about the bottle. Send an email saying you have asked several times you want them to ensure this going forward.

[YellowFlower201]

Oh yeah... I don’t think cows milk is recommended before 1 year old... might be wrong though.

[RadioGaGoo]

I'm getting confused. Is the 10 am bottle milk or formula?

[AssassinatedBeauty]

It seems to me like they used some common sense seeing as she woke so close to lunchtime. Giving her a bottle of formula at that point would probably have meant she wouldn't have wanted to eat lunch.

It's ok to have a different schedule at nursery and at home. If she's too busy and not bothered about the mid morning bottle at nursery then that's fine. You can keep offering it at home if you like.

Why do you feel she must have that bottle of formula offered to her mid morning?

[Ssdw]

Strangerlings it depends on the illness. Im sure your nursery also has policies on infectious diseases, v&d, etc.
They all do. They have to, by law.
In most nurseries it is ok to take a child in if she has a cold/ cough but not with an infection that requires antibiotics.

[Noodledoodledoo]

Its threads like this that make me understand why the lovely key workers at nursery worry so much when things don't go to plan with my two. I am so laid back I really really don't mind what they do.

We have completely different routines for nursery and home, I let them do what works for them, both get more than enough milk, food, sleep whilst there and I trust them. I don't insist on anything really - we did request eldest's nap was dropped as we noticed it made bedtime hideous and it was - others in her room don't nap either.

I would ask what she has drunk during the day and ask for reasons why they don't think she needs the bottle.

In your OP you say she 'has to have' a very fixed routine why is this?

[georgie262]

Personally, I would rather my DD ate her lunch than drank her milk. So I think they made a call on what to do when she woke up so close to lunchtime. It seems madness to give her her milk when she’ll be having her lunch in 30 minutes.