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to have just cried when DS told me this? (edited by MNHQ)

(300 Posts)
ReallyNormalForNorfolk Thu 16-Nov-17 16:37:12

He's only just turned 7, and appears to have worked it all out for himself. Santa doesn't exist, does he mummy? It's just you and daddy isn't it? I honestly didn't know what to say. I don't like to lie exactly, and sort of changed the subject to how you can believe in things that you can't see - like love, different people's gods, etc. He then said religion was a load of rubbish and not true as he had never seen an angel come down from heaven. Fair dues, a rational analysis I guess, but I was hoping that this moment wouldn't be quite so soon.
He is in fact a very rational little boy, and I don't want to lie to him, and give him the time to make his own mind up - but I am sad to say I did shed a tear or two because it seemed like such a loss of innocence/watershed type growing up moment. I said "should we forget about xmas then?" No, he still wants the presents! I haven't confirmed or denied anything - just feel a bit awkward about it all -wwyd?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 16-Nov-17 16:39:33

I just said something fudgy like its better to believe or you might not get any presents. My kids are late teens, I don't think I've ever acknowledged that he doesn't exist. It doesn't get mentioned 😀

PurpleDaisies Thu 16-Nov-17 16:40:28

I’m not sure what you mean, wwyd? There’s nothing to do. Your boy is fine. He’s realised something which is actually true. You’ll still have a wonderful Christmas.

You’re being a bit overdramatic here.

mickhucknallspinkpancakes Thu 16-Nov-17 16:41:39

I was more concerned that your DH was 7 and still believed in Santa 😂😂😂

DS got clued up years ago but humours me, and will continue to until he leaves home

QuiteLikely5 Thu 16-Nov-17 16:42:04

Should we forget about Xmas then - seems a harsh thing to say just because he dared to ask about Santa!!!

If you want him to believe that much you just giggle and say of course Santa exists

Oddmanout Thu 16-Nov-17 16:42:05

Ur DH is 7?! Sorry couldn't help it.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 16-Nov-17 16:42:25

It was a blessed relief in our house when the youngest ungrateful little bleeder realised that it's Mum who sorts out the big mound of presents.

ReallyNormalForNorfolk Thu 16-Nov-17 16:44:00

oh bum. That's a clanger of a typo. DS not DH! I do not have a seven year old DH! Honestly, Daily Fail, !!!

Dumbledoresgirl Thu 16-Nov-17 16:44:10

My dd, now age 17, told me the other day that she had never believed in Father Christmas but just went along with it for the presents. I don't quite believe that she has never believed, but I took that to mean that she certainly didn't believe by the age of 7.

It is sad, of course. The magic of Christmas only seems to exist in children who still believe in Father Christmas. But ultimately, I do not think your son is alone in his age group for realising the truth. Shed a few tears by all means, then try to be proud that your son is capable of such rational thoughts.

Mishappening Thu 16-Nov-17 16:44:33

Stop worrying - bringing up children is a long catalogue of losses, until they finally move on and leave you completely! I am sure you will make sure he has a lovely Christmas! smile

demirose87 Thu 16-Nov-17 16:45:07

I think that's a normal age to stop believing. I remember knowing Santa wasn't real but going along with it all. My DS is nearly 9 and announced that Santa isn't real and he hasn't believed in it for ages but went along with it so he'd still get his presents.

ReallyNormalForNorfolk Thu 16-Nov-17 16:46:19

I suppose some people would say that was Normal for Norfolk!!!

spunkymom22 Thu 16-Nov-17 16:46:21

I can still remember when I was 5 and my Dad wore a Santa costume and gave out gifts at a company Christmas party. (Yes in those days such things did happen!) I ran around telling all the kids that Santa was really just my Dad - and was told off for it. It didn't hurt me, the other Cs in my family, or any other kids, actually. We still had a beautiful tree, left out cookies for Santa, etc. etc.

PaperdollCartoon Thu 16-Nov-17 16:47:07

Why would you say ‘shall we forget about Christmas then’? That’s so bizarre. Christmas is about much more than Santa, doesn’t he get presents from you as well? Why would no Santa mean no Christmas?

I’m nearly 30 and still get a stocking!

Beelzebop Thu 16-Nov-17 16:47:28

I think my nine years old still believes, is he humouring me? hmm

Oddmanout Thu 16-Nov-17 16:48:43

"I suppose some people would say that was Normal for Norfolk!!!"

Lol grin

Believeitornot Thu 16-Nov-17 16:49:25

Christmas isn’t just about presents and Santa. That’s what I tell my lot!

Even though for them it’s all about the presents 😆

daydreamnation Thu 16-Nov-17 16:50:11

He's not real?!!!! grin

whiskyowl Thu 16-Nov-17 16:50:40

I think it's different for every child. I can remember finding it confusing once I got beyond the age of 7, though. I was trying to please my parents, but not really understanding why I had to lie and feeling conflicted about the whole thing. In the end, they took me aside and told me it wasn't real, but I had to keep up the pretence for my sister's sake.

I think "Should we forget about Christmas" is an awful thing to say. It's like you're punishing him for growing up. It's not a loss of innocence, it's a waking up to the world. Your boy sounds great. You sound like you need to give him room to grow.

Sooooooooooooooooooooo Thu 16-Nov-17 16:50:51

doesn’t he get presents from you as well? Why would no Santa mean no Christmas?

This. My DC believe in Santa but they know that some presents ome from us and family. They don’t think everything comes from Santa.

ByThePowerOfRa Thu 16-Nov-17 16:50:56

I remember figuring it out at that age. My mum just said “what do you think”? I said “he isn’t real” and she nodded. I like that she was honest with me tbh. If she’d sworn blind that he was real and threatened me with no presents etc, I’d probably have believed her and then been gutted when I found out he isn’t real.

LeCroissant Thu 16-Nov-17 16:52:57

I find it really odd when parents put so much emotion into a child believing something that isn't true - surely you're just setting everybody up for disappointment? I've never made my two believe that Santa is real but they still play the game and pretend he is and they absolutely adore Christmas and find it totally magical. There'll be no crashing disappointment for them - they are children, they know how to go along with a nice story and there's no need for the cloak and dagger, not saying anything bullshit.

nokidshere Thu 16-Nov-17 16:53:24

We do not acknowledge that santa doesn't exist grin

My boys are 19 and 16 and they still send santa a list, still shout down with excitement and surprise that he left new pjs on their beds while they are showering on Christmas Eve, still leave out a carrot for Rudolph and hang up their stockings wink

It's fun. Christmas is a lovely family time of shared jokes and experiences and so they humour me and join in. I love that they still do it with good humour! It doesn't have to lose it's magic unless you let it

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Thu 16-Nov-17 16:53:53

I never believed in Father Christmas and it didn't make Christmas any less magical - it's still absolutely my favourite time of year and I watch Miracle on 34th Street several times during December.

My ds is 2 and is a bit confused between Father Christmas and what he calls the 'Christmas Scarecrow' which we think has something to do with the nutcracker...

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle Thu 16-Nov-17 16:54:37

I said "should we forget about xmas then?" shock

Sorry but that's mean.

You were essentially trying to emotionally blackmail him into still believing in FC, just for your own happiness??!

Apart from anything else, if he's the rational kid he seems to be, then he'll know that's bollocks because plenty of adults get presents/have xmas, and he will know they don't believe in FC.

I stopped believing at about 4.
I am not scarred for life, nor is it a "loss of innocence" hmm

It's just a "nice" fairytale some people (yeah, I'm one of those terrible mothers who don't push FC) tell their kids to make xmas more "magical".

Well....looking back now, my most magical xmas's were the ones with all my family, or the ones I have now, not the ones where I believed in a red suited fat man.

Please don't make him think he won't get presents if he doesn't believe.

And please don't stifle logical, rational thinking in him.

(He's bang on about religion as well- what's wrong with letting him have his own opinions??!)

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