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How do I engage in less introspection? :)

(8 Posts)
Rolf38 Tue 14-Nov-17 23:05:04

I think I might be going through a bit of a slightly depressive phase at present, so I thought I'd see if anyone else has been through similar and can perhaps share this they got through it. I am finding it slightly hard to focus on the things that I love as I am just so critical of myself. When I say 'depressive' I mean just being so critical of myself that I don't feel that I am doing good enough or at times, I can doubt that my hard work over the years will get me anywhere. It's just a phase i'm going through quite intensely right now, although I have always been a bit of a perfectionist.

I feel sometimes that it easy for me to indulge in introspection - critiquing my percieved limitations to the most minute detail whilst forgetting of the positives. I have a lot of positives - work, academic, weight loss (well, until recently!!) - I have achieved lots over the years through high ambitions, perseverance and hard work.

Despite old of my hard work and achievements, I am not naturally social, so this is where I tend to critisise myself perhaps too much. I sometimes worry that my natural shyness from social ventures may disadvantage me a lot in terms of progression in life. After all (I think), no matter how hard I work, without networks and a bit of a social aptitude, I will struggle to reach my full potential in the real world. In my mind of lately, not being a part of a close friendship group will leave me at such a disadvantage that all of the extra effort that I put into my work over the years is in vain.

In the grand scheme of things, are my concerns here justified? Just how important is it really to 'be social' in terms of getting on and reaching your own potential? Are friendship groups overrated? Am I over worrying it or if it is important, for someone who is not naturally social, where are good ways to make new friends?

I am working with my councillor and am recieving lots of support, but does anyone on here have any tips about how to banish similar feelings and introspection? Does anyone have any motivational stories/quotes that can help me get back to full positivity and restore belief in myself?

I know that I am more than capable - it just seems like I'm jogging at the moment when I capable of sprinting - all because my own introspection is causing me to lose confidence in myself.

Is such introspection a common thing?

Thanks for any tips and advice! :

Rolf38 Tue 14-Nov-17 23:05:27


RunRabbitRunRabbit Tue 14-Nov-17 23:08:10

Book recommendation: Get out of your mind and into your life

RunRabbitRunRabbit Tue 14-Nov-17 23:22:21

On the specific question of social networking and career, you might be right, lack of it might hinder your career. Very few people are naturals at everything to do with their career. You just have to identify what aspects of the alien thing are truly important and find a way to do them somehow.

For example you say I am not naturally social OK. Lots of people are not. How social do you actually need to be?

Just how important is it really to 'be social' in terms of getting on and reaching your own potential? Depends. Are you a lorry driver? Are you a Member of Parliament?

Fuck reaching your own potential btw. That's wanky talk for saying well if I was perfect then I'd be perfect. Nobody's perfect. We are all our own worst enemies. We all have weak points. You learn to work them or work around them. Full potential can fuck off to far far fuck off away as far as I'm concerned.

What outcomes do you want? Being perfect with the fully realised potential is not a reasonable goal for anyone. Think of a better one.

StaplesCorner Tue 14-Nov-17 23:24:28

that book looks interesting, I hadn't heard of this before - acceptance and commitment therapy.

dahliaaa Tue 14-Nov-17 23:33:22

Two quick practical things :

- do a gratitude list each day. 3 positive things you are grateful for (helps to focus mind away from negative introspection.) can be big or small things.

- set ten minutes of 'worry time' each day. If you start to fixate or ruminate at other times if the day - stop yourself but give yourself permission to think about them at the set time.

poisoningpidgeysinthepark Tue 14-Nov-17 23:43:43

I use a thing called Self Journal (you can buy it online), it's a little bit naff but it really helps you to park things, be more productive and be accountable to yourself in a positive way.

FastWindow Tue 14-Nov-17 23:49:06

I can see your focus is very clearly on you. You used the word 'I' almost 30 times in your op, and 'me' and 'myself' several times.

My advice would be to turn that laser focus away from yourself and find something that could help you understand others, like volunteering at a food bank or getting involved in charity. Think of it as diluting your introspection by carefully looking out.

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