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To think Demi Moore was wrong

(123 Posts)
MumsGoneToPieland Tue 14-Nov-17 18:32:19

To guess a 15 year old at the age of 19 because she was married, not because he was 15? I don’t understand the outrage. They were both teenagers and it was just a snog? Even if it was a 19 year old man kissing a 15 year old it’s not that bad? Obviously entirely different if there was any hint of coercion, but there doesn’t seem to be in the Demi Moore situation confused

https://www.digitalmusicnews.com/2017/11/13/demi-moore-sexual-15-year-old-boy/

MumsGoneToPieland Tue 14-Nov-17 18:32:56

Sorry that should say kiss not guess - damn autocorrect

MumsGoneToPieland Tue 14-Nov-17 18:33:37

www.digitalmusicnews.com/2017/11/13/demi-moore-sexual-15-year-old-boy/

CDeville Tue 14-Nov-17 18:37:55

Do you think that she was in the wrong or not? Your post and title seem confusing.

Of course she was wrong.

MumsGoneToPieland Tue 14-Nov-17 18:39:53

Wrong that she was married? And the focus seems to be on the ages, rather than that she was married? And that the ages aren’t really significant given they were both teenagers and no sex took place? Just kissing?

CDeville Tue 14-Nov-17 18:41:01

wine ?

I don't see why it was wrong she was married?

The focus is on the ages as it makes a massive difference.

AssassinatedBeauty Tue 14-Nov-17 18:42:56

Applying the law in the UK now, it would be considered more serious than someone under 18 kissing a 15 year old. She was also arguably in a position of responsibility towards him as an adult working on the same job as him. So, if it were to happen today, in the UK, there would be consequences. Much like the Adam Johnson footballer case. Demi Moore knew exactly how old he was too, given the circumstances.

In 1982, presumably in the US, I have no idea of the legality. Morally she's in the wrong on several counts - he's a child, she's married and an adult. It's grim however you look at it. The fact he seems pleased is not really the point.

Pengggwn Tue 14-Nov-17 18:43:01

French kissing a person under 16 - is that illegal now? I wouldn't do it myself but it's a question I can't answer. Anyone?

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Tue 14-Nov-17 18:43:12

I think of myself and my friends as a 19 year old and couldn’t imagine any of us having the slightest interest in a 15 year old boy. It’s creepy. It’s creepy either way round. 19 is miles away from 15 in terms of maturity, emotional development etc.

Pengggwn Tue 14-Nov-17 18:44:50

What law would apply to this? I ask because - obviously - the idea of someone passionately kissing a child is revolting, but it isn't unequivocally 'sexual activity' unless someone defines 'sexual activity' and it includes it, if that makes sense.

Battleax Tue 14-Nov-17 18:45:00

I dated a 19 year old when I was 15 (fairly chastely but there was some snogging) without objection from parents or anyone else. If it was suddenly dredged up and he was given a hard time now on the basis of today's altered mores, I would be vociferous in his defence.

Coercion and abuse of power is always wrong, of course, but retroactive moralising is a different game altogether.

I would be equally vociferous about not letting my 15 year old DS or DD go out with an adult now.

MumsGoneToPieland Tue 14-Nov-17 18:46:27

I’m just curious as I had a 19 year old BF at the age of 15 and I’ve never thought it was an issue? But now I’m wondering if there was? My parents positively encouraged the relationship and it wasn’t seen as odd at all. I don’t understand the issue if there was no sexual contact.
However, I totally get it if she was in a position of authority over him in a work capacity. That may be the crux here that I’m missing.

Pengggwn Tue 14-Nov-17 18:47:18

Under UK law (as far as I know) retroactive prosecutions aren't allowed, are they?

SumThucker Tue 14-Nov-17 18:47:34

He looks like a kid, seems icky to me.

KarriPotter Tue 14-Nov-17 18:48:16

This is a stretch, it really is!

I snogged a shit ton of older guys when I was teenage, lots of times the age was far more than four years apart.

Pengggwn Tue 14-Nov-17 18:48:41

Can you be in a position of authority over someone in a work capacity that makes it abuse to kiss them? It's not like student/teacher. Again, as far as I know.

Battleax Tue 14-Nov-17 18:50:12

I’m just curious as I had a 19 year old BF at the age of 15 and I’ve never thought it was an issue? But now I’m wondering if there was? My parents positively encouraged the relationship and it wasn’t seen as odd at a

So that's two of us then.

I've thoughtful about this recently and it obviously seemed totally fine to everyone at the time.

It's equally obvious that it's not fine now.

How you consider whether it's okay in a space outside of time and society, I have no idea.

But you can't bludgeon people retrospectively for things that were tacitly condoned at the time, I think. We can only learn lessons and evolve as a society.

MumsGoneToPieland Tue 14-Nov-17 18:51:33

He may have felt coerced or something if she was more senior or had a greater position of responsibility? But from the video it doesn’t seem like it he appeared coerced? It just seems like two teenagers mucking around.

MumsGoneToPieland Tue 14-Nov-17 18:53:03

Thinking about it I wouldn’t be happy about my own DD being in the same situation. I guess times do change. Just so strange how my parents were so fine about it.

Pengggwn Tue 14-Nov-17 18:55:42

And I think we should be careful about saying a relationship (non-sexual) between a 15 year old and a 19 year old is 'obviously' not appropriate. Really? If in 6 weeks the 15 year old can legally sleep with the 19 year old, can we really say they can't kiss? 15 year olds aren't children, per se, they're older adolescents. Most girls wouldn't see anything innately disturbing about a relationship with an attractive 19 year old; they might think it's controversial and will irritate their parents, but no one thinks "perve" about it at that age, do they? And conventionally (whatever you think about this) girls do fancy (slightly) older boys. I know I did at 15. Not vastly. I wouldn't have been attracted to anyone older than 20, and I think 20 is too old to be dating a 15 year old. But a near-16 year old and a just-turned 19 year old? It's notable but not abusive, surely?

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Tue 14-Nov-17 18:58:54

Oh I’ve just read the link. He was literally just turning 15, he looks like he is 12! What on earth was she doing? Was it because a camera was on her? It’s not like it was even a relationship!

Pengggwn Tue 14-Nov-17 19:00:32

What was she doing? Well, she might be an out and out creep. It may have been a dare. I suspect the most likely scenario is it was some sort of 'birthday present', back when issues of underage consent were far less prominent than they are now. She probably thought she was doing him a favour.

Sandsunsea Tue 14-Nov-17 19:03:49

Having watched the video I see nothing going on which concerns me. 2 kids mucking around.

Ladyformation Tue 14-Nov-17 19:07:39

Absolutely nothing wrong with this. Christ, it's not like until your 16th birthday you're a child and on your 18th birthday you're suddenly an adult. They're all teenagers and obviously there are grey areas but tbh I wouldn't even consider this to be a grey area...

(Coercion is a totally different thing, but just having an age gap does not mean coercion and it's laughable to imply that it does).

Whatsername17 Tue 14-Nov-17 19:07:49

I had a relationship with an 18 year old at 15. Their kiss looks to be consensual. The now 50 year old boy has made no complaint either. It seems like trial by Twitter which I hate.

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