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To keep my son at home tomorrow

(42 Posts)
lils888 Tue 14-Nov-17 16:05:08

We’ve moved and he’s in a new School (year 6). He made friends straight away however he now only has one friend as he says the other boys play too rough - he was pushed into a fence leaving 5 bruises as part of this “playing”. God knows where the teachers are at this point.

Today he’s come home saying a boy has threatened to “give him a beating” tomorrow. Also calling him a wimp and jelly arms when he walked away and refused to engage with this child.

I don’t want to send him in. I’m waiting for a call from his teacher who may call me this evening if her meeting finishes early.

AIBU to want to keep him home until this is sorted homeschool him and go and punch this kid in the face for being a mini twat

Sirzy Tue 14-Nov-17 16:08:48

Take him in and talk to someone st School at the same time

Ttbb Tue 14-Nov-17 16:09:17

You are mollycoddling him and possibly contributing to his problems. If you want to send your son to that kind of school then you have to get him to toughen up. This isn't going to go away unless the two of you change or you move him to a different school where the children aren't little thugs. Assuming that you are in the state system he is likely to encounter the same/similar character in his secondary scchiol anyway.

TheQueenOfWands Tue 14-Nov-17 16:10:27

Take him in? What? For a beating?

No, keep him off until this is resolved. Properly resolved, not them jerking you off.

Shannaratiger Tue 14-Nov-17 16:14:02

Wait for phone call from the teacher. If you're not convinced they can keep your ds safe then go in and discuss it with the headteacher.

Eolian Tue 14-Nov-17 16:16:30

If you want to send your son to that kind of school

Assuming that you are in the state system he is likely to encounter the same/similar character in his secondary scchiol [sic] anyway.

hmm and my first ever biscuit

Lily2007 Tue 14-Nov-17 16:17:06

Presuming he's in primary I would contact the Head teacher for a solution to this as it needs to be dealt with at that level.

I would take him to school tomorrow but only leave him if they have a solution in place e.g. the bully is kept in at break times and dealt with.

GerrytheBerry Tue 14-Nov-17 16:18:59

Ask state schools aren't full of bullies. And you're not mollycoddling him, you're protecting him and making sure he's safe. I would keep him off until it's properly resolved.

GerrytheBerry Tue 14-Nov-17 16:19:18

All not ask!

lils888 Tue 14-Nov-17 16:19:27

@Ttbb he’s just not a fighter. His four uncles spent years trying to get him to “toughen up”. It’s not in him at all. My second son however will gladly play fight and throw punches with them so I wouldn’t say it was my parenting. I’ve just allowed him to be the caring, sensitive, respectful young man he’s growing up to be.

user1493413286 Tue 14-Nov-17 16:20:44

I would take him in but go with him and make sure it’s resolved. If the teachers aren’t taking it seriously enough to call you back tonight I would say go in even if you don’t take your son in as they need to treat it seriously.

FrancisCrawford Tue 14-Nov-17 16:21:12

Agree that it’s best to wait for the call from the teacher and see how they propose to deal with this bullying. And if she doesn’t call, can you go into the school tomorrow to speak in person?

Of course it isn’t mollycoddling!

Wolfiefan Tue 14-Nov-17 16:21:23

He sounds lovely.
If you can't talk to someone before school can you phone first thing? I wouldn't want to send him in until the incident had been properly reported and a plan had been put in place to keep him safe.
Poor kid.

lils888 Tue 14-Nov-17 16:27:49

The teacher called - said the boys in the other class so she can’t see it being a problem (two forms per year) but she will personally keep an eye on ds.

I responded saying he’s managed to threaten him and call him names so clearly it is already an issue. I’ve asked for a meeting with the deputy head (lovely male teacher that my son adores) and said I’ll be bringing him to school and not leaving without him unless I feel he’s safe.

I’ve always worried about bullying with him because he’s such a passive child. I hope this isn’t the start of something bigger

fartyghost Tue 14-Nov-17 16:39:37

not them jerking you off

that's an, errm, interesting choice of expression.

TheQueenOfWands Tue 14-Nov-17 16:42:17

Is it? Thought it was standard.

Similar to fobbing one off, I suppose.

Dahlietta Tue 14-Nov-17 17:10:04

Similar to fobbing one off, I suppose.

Oh gosh, no, it isn't. Unless you're particularly fond of piv I suppose...

Wolfiefan Tue 14-Nov-17 17:12:21

No it really isn't!
And no OP that really isn't good enough. He's been threatened.
I'm betting they are together at lunch etc. Your child needs to be kept safe. And you should know how they intend to ensure that happens. And the child who issued the threat should have some kind of consequence.

doodle01 Tue 14-Nov-17 17:12:58

unacceptable most schools have zero tolerance for bullying and he has been assaulted causing bodily harm ABH if this happens again id report to police and be damned

lils888 Tue 14-Nov-17 17:13:15


Yea that phrase means something totally different where I’m from grin I did chuckle reading it though so thanks for that

doodle01 Tue 14-Nov-17 17:13:34

As new boy he may have attracted attention stamp on it

DearMrDilkington Tue 14-Nov-17 17:16:20

I'd keep him off. It's not normal behaviour to threaten to beat someone up in primary school.

If he was an adult and he had been threatened like that at work it'd be completely unacceptable. I can't understand why some people think it's fine for a child to have to put up it but not an adult.hmm

lils888 Tue 14-Nov-17 17:19:28

@doodle01 from what I know they are usually very tough on bullying and don’t hold back when expelling students so I’m expecting a good outcome from the deputy head.

It’s the first time I’ve ever had to deal with anything like this, didn’t realise how heartbreaking it would be. God knows how parents get through prolonged bullying

tinypop4 Tue 14-Nov-17 17:21:30

Tbtt the stuff you say about state schools on any thread is so weird. You went to one, you had a bad time. They're not all Full of thugs and low achievers.

Anyway, op. You should take him into school and ask to see a teacher or the head before you leave.

GerrytheBerry Tue 14-Nov-17 17:22:26

I agree with mrdilkington
I don't ever understand why kids have to just get through it, toughen up, whatever else you want to call it, bullying is vile and it's not the child being bullied that needs to change!

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