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AIBU?

To think I can be gorgeous again?

55 replies

Pinkpowerofthought · 14/11/2017 15:37

I'm 27. Four stone overweight. Because of this I haven't bought myself clothes for ages and ages. I got to the point today where I literally had ran out of trousers apart from my stretchy black pair and decorating joggies. I went to Matalan and bought a new jumper, jeggings, boots and a handbag. I looked around and saw all the lovely clothes that i loved but didn't see the point in wearing because I will still look massive.
I've never had my nails done. My eyebrows aren't professionally shaped but do get them waxed once in a blue moon. I've never had my nails done.
My hair is blonde using a home dye kit from nice and easy and it's boring. It's a bob. I shower and leave it wet to dry naturally...it always drys looking greasy.
I never wear makeup anymore.
I used to be bloody gorgeous. Good figure. Long blonde hair. Fashionable and slim.

I'm 27 ffs and I'm embarrassed to leave the house.
I have a lovely dp who loves me for who I am but I feel ashamed of myself. Especially when his mum and sisters all look like they make an effort with themselves.
I need help and advice.
I have a really physical job so I need to eat a lot of protein and carbs. (Postie so walk about 10 or 11 miles a day) I haven't put weight on sinse starting the job a year ago but I haven't lost any either, probably because I'm still eating shite.
I don't want to be frumpy and fat. Help!

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oldlaundbooth · 14/11/2017 15:40

Yes, you can be gorgeous and more importantly healthy again.

What do you eat on a daily basis? You need to log it in MFP.

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Pinkpowerofthought · 14/11/2017 15:46

Recently and on a good day I eat
Two slices of wholemeal toast with a hazelnut and cocoa spread (not nutella. It's got no palm oil or refined sugar in it, it's basically hazelnut butter)
And a banana for breakfast

Lunch will be naked noodles and a small protein shake

Dinner is usually something like chilli rice and salad or stir fry or curry

On a bad day I have all that mid week and then gorge on takeaway, chocolate crisps and booze at weekend So that's why I'm not losing weight.

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DaisysStew · 14/11/2017 15:47

I used to do this when I was overweight, it was like I thought I didn't deserve nice clothes/my hair done/make up etc.

The thing that helped me was saying I am worth it. I might be a bit bigger than I want but I'm still a person and I deserve to treat myself. Buy yourself something that you feel good in, shape your eyebrows, try a new hairstyle. Looking like I'd made an effort made me want to lose weight more than berating myself for be being big.

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SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 14/11/2017 15:49

You need to keep a proper food diary - no way would you be carrying 4 stone extra on 11 miles walking and 2 slices of toast and pot noodle a day!

Cut the sugar, cut the fat, cut the alcohol, then you'll see it drop off.

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Pinkpowerofthought · 14/11/2017 15:50

I think thats how i ended up like this. When i put weight on I didn't see the point in making effort because I was still going to be fat anyway. Put makeup on still fat. Expensive hair doo still fat. I am punishing myself.
I look fat and lazy who doesn't care when actually I'm very active, not lazy and care a lot! But I just don't feel good enough for any of it.

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LaurieFairyCake · 14/11/2017 15:52

By all means find a diet you like but I have to echo what Daisy said

You are fucking worth it. You’re still gorgeous. So treat yourself as if you really believe it. Buy some proper clothes you like, go to a hairdresser, join a yoga or gym class, get your nails done.

4 stone doesn’t mean you stop living, you’re never going to be as young as you are today Flowers

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Fairylea · 14/11/2017 15:53

If you do a physical job your lunch isn’t good. You need to eat more protein at breakfast - eggs or porridge etc - and have something healthier for lunch (grilled chicken, veg, some fruit etc). I think if you watch how you eat and what you eat and make sure you are actually eating enough of the right things so you don’t feel starving you’ll find the weight will come off, but don’t keep your life on hold until it does. You deserve to be happy whatever size you are.

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Whatsername17 · 14/11/2017 15:54

Join weight watchers online a d download the app. It is brilliant. 6 months ago I was struggling to lose a stone of baby weight and I would have sworn thatch was eating the right things. 6 weeks on weight watchers and it dropped off.

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peachgreen · 14/11/2017 15:54

I agree with @DaisysStew. Losing weight can feel like an insurmountable challenge and people always put things off "until I've lost weight". Don't do that. You deserve to look and feel good no matter whether or not you're carrying some extra weight.

Get a decent haircut and buy the products your hairdresser recommends. Get your eyebrows done. Treat yourself to nice nails. Get an in-store makeover and see what suits you. Buy yourself some nice new clothes. And in the background you can be losing weight slowly - it will be much easier to do when you're already feeling better about yourself.

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Pinkpowerofthought · 14/11/2017 15:55

Honestly I eat like that all week until Friday comes along and then I have a huge takeaway then have booze and a bag of sweets.
Sat a meal out more booze and a whole family share bag of crisps or something. I don't put the weight on now but i just need to quit all this shit at the weekend. It's ridiculous. I comfort eat because I struggle with stress. I am very easily stressed about minimal things but I don't show it, I just eat it.

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millifiori · 14/11/2017 15:57

Wow. You walk 10 miles a day. I'm so impressed, whatever weight you are.
Definitely start being nice to yourself as you are. I'd give loads of treats to a body that walked 10 miles a day for work. Long baths, home pedicures, foot massages etc.

Definitely start allowing yourself good haircuts and nice make up, home facials and manicures, brow threads etc, as they really do help you look good. I am two stone overweight but do try to wear make up and look after my hair as without that I feel even worse. You can only look and feel better if you are taking care of yourself.

Can you go for complex carbs and lots of lean protein instead of fast carbs. They will keep you going on your rounds.

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Pinkpowerofthought · 14/11/2017 15:58

I have been really bad too having diet fizzy drinks and two diet energy drinks a day. I decided last week enough was enough. I have a coffee in the morning and I put electrolyte tablets in my water for work to keep me hydrated. I can't believe the filthy habits I've let myself get into.

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Grenoble124 · 14/11/2017 16:03

Join weightwatchers. Their plan has just changed and is protein based. I find gettinf weighed is the best incentive and have recently lost three stone with ww.

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amusedbush · 14/11/2017 16:07

My DH is a postie and walks a huge amount every day as well as climbing countless stairs with heavy bags (Glasgow tenements - no lifts) and the job is so physical that he can lose weight while eating about 3000kcal a day.

To be maintaining four stone overweight while burning so many calories at work, you must be eating way over your calorific needs. Weight loss is 80% food so once you get a handle on that, the weight will come off.

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MorrisZapp · 14/11/2017 16:08

Talk me through how you used to have long blonde hair but now it's crap because you're overweight? Hair is hair! Get thee to a salon.

I have a friend who is more overweight than you are but who pampers herself to the max and looks stunning. I totally get that you can't be arsed, I can't be arsed a lot either but you're far too young to give up on gorgeous.

Losing weight is a great plan, but lipstick works today.

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cjt110 · 14/11/2017 16:13

I could have pretty much written your post OP

Tonight, after talking with a colleague at work, I am going to go home, have a good old sort out of all my clothes. I have an ikea unit full of shit I dont wear and probably half of my wardrobe is daggy shit. I'm fed up of being 30 and frumpy.

I've got stick on falsies on right now and it's amazing how they can boost your confidence so much.

I am 2 stone heavier than before I had my son who is 3. I kid on that I'm happy but I'm not. I even tell myself I'm happy as I'm shoving 3/4 chocolate bars into my gob in quick succession.

I am on weightwatchers and have fucked around for too long. Back to my original weight. They have changed their plan so I'm seeing it as a fresh new start.

You are gorgeous I'm sure. But I know what it's like to have your m ind telling you one thing and you feeling another....

I'm happy to buddy up if you'd like

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/11/2017 16:15

Really great advice on this thread and I particularly agree with Morris, hair is hair. I feel fab when I've come of the salon, no matter whether my make-up is Alice Cooper-esque from the basin or I've neglected to put any on... my hair looks amazing then and it lifts my mood without fail.

Do that, book in with your hairdresser - or find a new one.

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Pinkpowerofthought · 14/11/2017 16:17

I think when I was slim i made more effort with my hair that's all.
Because I'm fat I just don't think I will look good with a nice cut and colour. Like it won't do me justice.
I'm going to lose the weight. I'm going to make a right effort with the weight loss and wear more makeup and nicer clothes.
Don't even get me started on my underwear drawer. My granny probably has sexier pants.

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LaurieFairyCake · 14/11/2017 16:17

Losing weight is a great plan but lipstick works today

LOVE that Morris Cake

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MrsPestilence · 14/11/2017 16:17

Well done for dumping the fizzy drink habit, it can be a tough one to crack and you have done it Grin
With all that physical activity you are probably only three stone overweight. Under that extra padding you are sporting a fine shapely arse and legs.
Up your protein at breakfast and lunch, dump a few of the surplus carbs and have a good think about more constructive things to do at the weekend. Shag DP, clean the skirting boards with earbuds, anything, but something. You can do it.

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Beamur · 14/11/2017 16:24

It's too dispiriting to tell yourself to lose 4 stone. Break it into smaller goals, like 10 lbs or 5% of your current weight.

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Reppin · 14/11/2017 16:28

I was like you OP, I put weight on steadily over a year and couldn't seem to shift it. I mainly buy clothes online so would just guess my size and often things wouldn't fit, but I kept them anyway to slim into. Eventually I went and got some amazingly beautiful, well-fitting, supportive underwear. Some very well fitting jeans, and slouchy but flattering tops to disguise problem areas. Well fitting clothes took pounds off me! Now I constantly treat myself, I regularly get highlights, manicures, and eyebrow threading. I have amazing skin, in part due to my skincare products, but also being a bit fatter means I have absolutely no wrinkles/gauntness. Now I don't even care that I am overweight because my clothes look really good on my shape. and I have amazing boobs and skin

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coddiwomple · 14/11/2017 16:29

You need to keep a proper food diary

absolutely!

I'm going to lose the weight. You are still very young, it makes it easier.
Start today! You need to plan your weekly meals, and buy accordingly. It will also help.

The hardest part is that it does take time.

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SequinRash · 14/11/2017 16:30

Losing weight is a great plan but lipstick works today

YES

If you feel shit whilst you're losing weight you'll end up overeating to hush up the misery. Make sure you look as fabulous as you can at all times. You'll feel better.

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thatwhichwecallarose · 14/11/2017 16:33

Can only echo what others have said. You are still gorgeous now and don’t need to lose weight to be gorgeous. It sounds cliche but if you feel gorgeous you’ll project gorgeousness!

I totally get it but if you find clothes that suit your new shape, you’ll feel better and the diet will work better. Nothing is worse for dieting than low self esteem.

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