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can we bring back life to our relationship?

(3 Posts)
sleepdarlingdonotcry Tue 14-Nov-17 15:23:48

I feel like we have totally neglected our relationship for a few months now. DH has moved to a new job and been massively focusing on that and I have just sort of understood this and now it's become normal. We are so distant from each other. He spends loads of time on his phone checking emails and browsing and I feel ignored. When I talk to him his mind is elsewhere. Even when we have sex I feel like he is not really there in the present. When I spoke to him about this last night he just said he has been stressed with work and things will settle down. I'm just worried we'll have no relationship left by then. I've even started fantasising about other men.

KimmySchmidt1 Tue 14-Nov-17 15:29:24

Do you have a life of your own? You sound a bit needy to be honest. Do you find the money his new job brings in superfluous and unnecessary or are you pretty fortunate he has a job?

Marriage is for life - it is not a whirlwind romance, and it is as valuable to give each other space as it is to stay focussed on each other. He needs this time to pursue his career outside of you. If you are bored, perhaps get a hobby. If you want more attention, perhaps arrange a date for you both to go on so that he has some time he can set aside to deliberately not worry about work.

I'd suggest proposing enjoyable dates to help him compartmentalise, rather than sulking and asking "what about me?".

TheNaze73 Tue 14-Nov-17 15:34:27

I think you need to carve out a life of you’re own. Nothing grows in shadows & it sounds like you’re dependent on him for your own happiness. Have your own fun, do your own thing & you’ll eventually reconnect

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