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Let's go and ask Mummy

(110 Posts)
SnugglySnerd Tue 14-Nov-17 15:06:49

No don't ask me. I don't have an opinion I just want 5 minutes peace. Piss off and make a decision on your own for once.

Also why is it never "let's go and ask Daddy"?

juddyrockingcloggs Tue 14-Nov-17 15:34:37

Aargh! This drives me mad!

DS - Daddy can I please have that bar of chocolate before breakfast?

Daddy - you’d best ask your mum.

DS - Mummy can I please have this bar of chocolate before breakfast?

Me - No, you haven’t had your breakfast yet and you know it’s for a treat after your lunch.

WHY OH FRIGGING WHY does he have to tell him to ask me? Just say no you moron.

SnugglySnerd Tue 14-Nov-17 15:38:24

It's because he doesn't want to be the meanie who says no.

I also get cross when we're visiting relatives and every single question about the dcs is directed at me. Especially "what would DD like for lunch?". They never ask dh even though he's sitting there too. Better still ask DD what she would like!

Sunnyjac Tue 14-Nov-17 20:07:24

Drives me nuts when they walk out of the room where daddy is, find me elsewhere either doing housework or on the loo and then ask me to do/get/pass them something from the room that daddy is in!

Fallenmadonnawiththebigboobies Tue 14-Nov-17 20:09:24

Drives me nuts when they walk out of the room where daddy is, find me elsewhere either doing housework or on the loo and then ask me to do/get/pass them something from the room that daddy is in!

^
THIS!!

MumW Tue 14-Nov-17 20:34:45

Drives me nuts when they walk out of the room where daddy is, find me elsewhere either doing housework or on the loo and then ask me to do/get/pass them something from the room that daddy is in!
The correct answer is "No darling, you can see Mummy's a bit busy at the moment, Daddy WILL do it"

SnugglySnerd Wed 15-Nov-17 09:28:13

Sometimes when I'm getting dressed I actually hear dh say "let's go and ask mummy" then he brings DD to me. No don't ask me. Sod off!

Coldhandscoldheart Wed 15-Nov-17 09:33:23

grin I’ve caught us a few times doing
Five minutes with mum ‘I wonder where daddy is. Can you find daddy?’
Five minutes with dad ‘I wonder where mummy is. Can you find mummy?’
Rinse and repeat. So perhaps I don’t find it so bad as I do it right back, until I feel sorry for the poor toddler going back and forth.

WorraLiberty Wed 15-Nov-17 09:35:08

The correct answer is "No darling, you can see Mummy's a bit busy at the moment, Daddy WILL do it"

That opens a conversation channel though.

"Ask Daddy" is all I would say.

Ilovelampandchair Wed 15-Nov-17 09:39:51

I spend a lot of time telling mine 'go ask daddy' or 'daddy is there, ask him if he'll do it for you' as I sit like a beached whale, sore and pregnant and he stabds exactly beside the thing they want me to haul my painful body up to get for them.

It's infuriating.

The other day we were having dinner and I couldn't understand why I was feeling so angry and about to lose it till I realised the 2yr old was holding my knife arm down and periodically poking my food, the 3 yr old was climbing on my back and the 4 yr old was standing at the side of me saying 'mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy....' while I was trying to eat.

Looked across at DH who was enjoying his meal.

irvineoneohone Wed 15-Nov-17 09:40:13

Oh, I really hate it. Dh doesn't make a decision, says ask Mummy instead. I say no. I'm the bad guy.

paxillin Wed 15-Nov-17 09:42:52

Be 20% stricter and less helpful than you'd normally be. They'll quickly learn to ask pushover daddy.

Butterymuffin Wed 15-Nov-17 09:43:04

'It's Daddy's turn to answer that question / get that for you'. Just say that on repeat.

MrsOverTheRoad Wed 15-Nov-17 09:47:56

I regularly send my DC to 'Ask your Dad.' and then they come back with 'He said to ask yooouuuuuu!'

sirfredfredgeorge Wed 15-Nov-17 09:50:26

It's because he doesn't want to be the meanie who says no.

Or maybe he wants to say yes, but knows you would disagree.

So, if he didn't come to you, but made decisions you didn't agree with, would that be fine?

nowt Wed 15-Nov-17 09:51:41

These fucking useless men shock

DH and I are more or less interchangeable as far as the dc are concerned. So much so that he gets called mummy and vice versa.

SoupDragon Wed 15-Nov-17 09:53:38

These fucking useless men

Are they useless or bloody clever?

SnugglySnerd Wed 15-Nov-17 09:55:21

Tbh dh isn't really the problem it's the rest of the family - grandparents mainly who always default to asking me. Never him. Even if we're both there.

Yesterday I'd chopped some veg up for dinner. I left it unattended briefly to go to the loo and DD asked granny if she could have a cucumber stick. DH was there but nobody thought to ask him so I was summoned to decide whether this was ok. It's hardly something I'd have been upset about anyway. One cucumber stick is hardly going to ruin her appetite or rot her teeth!

Scabbersley Wed 15-Nov-17 09:56:00

"you have TWO parents!" will be engraved onto my tombstone

nowt Wed 15-Nov-17 10:01:50

Well, in this aspect they are being useless, whether it’s through incompetence or cunning, the result is the same.

outabout Wed 15-Nov-17 10:02:23

Men are not useless but they are often forced into a 'catch 22' position. If DC asks dad a question that mum might have a strong opinion on, the answer needs to be what mum would have said.
If he guesses incorrectly both he and DC will be 'in the poo' for the rest of the day.
Women are renowned for being decisive but quite often change their minds shortly after.
Women laying down the rules 'because they know best' is better known as a dictatorship.

nowt Wed 15-Nov-17 10:08:14

You’ll notice, outabout, that I specifically said ‘these’ useless men. But you have responded with a whole bunch of generalists about how it is all women’s fault that (all?) men are useless...

nowt Wed 15-Nov-17 10:08:35

generalisms

Wendalicious Wed 15-Nov-17 10:09:21

I’ve started saying “ you have two parents you don’t have to always ask me!”

CircleofWillis Wed 15-Nov-17 10:09:35

Mine doesn't just do it with our DC. He also does it with relatives and friends. If something comes up that he doesn't want to do or go to he will say "I'll check with Circle". Then he asks me I say something along the lines of "no we can't look after John's dog as he doesn't get on with our cat" or "I have to finish writing my report tonight so unless you can take mini circle it is not on" or "your parents are coming over that evening". Cue DH on the phone saying "sorry Circle says we can't make it!" Infuriates me. He can never just give a 'no' himself even though he knows the reasons just as well as I do.

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