Talk

Advanced search

How you would handle this meeting with the Head today at 2:15pm.

(45 Posts)
DayDreamer99 Tue 14-Nov-17 13:39:21

I am not new but name changed. I have 4 dc, one in year 7 and three in primary, meeting is with the Primary school head. My eldest child was failed so badly by the primary school, I asked for help and testing for SEN multiple times between year 1-6. Each time I was told there was no need child was progressing normally and very well behaved blah blah blah. I always left frustrated thinking my child was going under the radar because they didn't misbehave in school, I knew there were SEN there just not what ones, it was obvious when comparing the children. Started year 7 I requested testing from the new school, they said I had made their job easier as xxx has come back as needing screenings from the CAT's results and as I was already aware could just get on with it rather than having to have a meeting first to discuss/consent etc. The tests came back with ability at age 8y 2m presently with multiple SEN identified and I have been advised to get my other 3 children tested. The primary school have said there was nothing wrong with my eldest when they were there, the secondary school have misdiagnosised these things in dc1 to get rid of me. I wrote one email to secondary school as my request so was in no way a pestering them. To cut along story short they are refusing to screen the other kids, where do I stand with this. Dc1 does have SEN been screened by school and again by department of education and has a specialists teacher come into school 1 hour per day as well as being taken out of classes like P.E to work in a small group of 3. Any advice or thoughts of how to handle this will be greatly appreciated

DayDreamer99 Tue 14-Nov-17 13:43:13

Forgot to add primary school claim eldest dc was average or above in all subjects when they left. I don't see how this can be as they can bearly read or spell words with more than four letters. I am so stressed about the meeting as I feel I have let one child down so badly already I just can't make the mistake with the other 3 kids. It is very hard to admit you have let your kid down so please be gentle with me.

Booboobooboo84 Tue 14-Nov-17 13:46:16

You haven’t let your kid down. You will be letting your other three down if you don’t either insist on testing or move them to a more acceptable school. I would also complain to the board of governors

DarkWorld Tue 14-Nov-17 13:49:54

Primary schools are crap with SEN. Does the primary have a family support worker you can meet with...they opened so many doors for me and they have a lot of contacts themselves so they can get a lot of things done on your behalf. If school doesn't have one (they should) go to your local childrens centre and ask how to get one. Or I've heard you can get an application form from SS to insist the children are tested. But be prepared for FSW to absolutley pick into every detail of your homelife...but it has to be done they need to know your dynamics. Another (quicker) option is private testing if you can afford it.

DayDreamer99 Tue 14-Nov-17 13:53:12

I Will not make the same mistakes with my other 3 kids, that is a promise. I have already applied for in year transfer but know where has space for the 2 dc that are in key stage 1. There now by law can be no more than 30 children per class in key stage 1. I have put their names on the waiting list and have an appeal hearing next Monday 20/11/2017. I just don't know what to say to these people I am just so angry at them and myself for allowing this to happen. Can I demand they test dc, do I have the right to do that I don't know?

DayDreamer99 Tue 14-Nov-17 13:56:13

I will scrape the money together for private testing, dh can get over time bit if it comes back with SEN do the school have to act on private testing?

Booboobooboo84 Tue 14-Nov-17 14:02:15

Ok you need to be cool, calm and collected.

The meeting this afternoon you just need to calmly explain you have been advised by your dc secondary school to insist on testing for the younger children and that as you agree with their findings you intend to follow this through and that you won’t be brushed off. The head is almost def going to say no. Ask him for his response in writing and calmly leave. Ask as well for copies of any testing on your older child. Then complain. Complain to the board of governors, council if appropriate and ofsted if appropriate.

You would get a better answer if you contact the council sen and ask them directly.

DayDreamer99 Tue 14-Nov-17 14:08:24

I have been given all eldest dc results by the department of education, so I do have those thing documented already. Asking for their response in writing is good thank you for that, that way it is all documented. I just need to put my anger a side for now.

forgottenusername Tue 14-Nov-17 14:12:32

is it possible to get testing carried out for the younger three via a GP referral rather than school? might be worth asking

Booboobooboo84 Tue 14-Nov-17 14:13:41

From now on channel an ice queen- Elsa the shit out of them! Just stay cool and calm and if you don’t agree with what they say calmly say so. Make it clear that you knew all along that your child was struggling, the secondary school have confirmed this and that you won’t be letting the same happen to your other children. If the head refuses just say that’s a shame I will have to take this further as I’m sure you understand my child’s welfare is my absolute priority, ask for everything in writing, shake their hand and calm sweep out the room.

MrsPepperpot79 Tue 14-Nov-17 14:39:27

I would be asking for evidence of your children's progress and age related scores (reading and spelling should be available) or failing that the evidence of in-year progress for each child (they will have this data, but they may not want to share). I would be very calmly pointing out that your child left with disappointing SATs and that you are acting on expert recommendations to ensure others are tested - at least - for SEN. I would be asking for the meeting to be minuted and emailed to you. I would also be wanting to talk to the SENCO at the school and requesting reasoning as to why your child was not tested. If they do not agree/try to fob you off, request the school's complaints policy and go formal. At no point get angry/upset (well, visibly those things anyway!) or they will use your emotions to dismiss your perfectly good points.

SlothMama Tue 14-Nov-17 14:39:58

Sometimes children behave completely differently at school than at home so the behavior isn't observed. Try to remain calm during the meeting, just explain your reasoning behind why you want them assessed and the issues you've had before.

If they continue to refuse could you try going down a different route to have them assessed?

Ceto Tue 14-Nov-17 14:46:43

What scores did your oldest child get in SATs tests? Ditto re the younger children, or at least those who have done the KS1 tests?

DayDreamer99 Tue 14-Nov-17 15:00:11

Meeting lasted 10 minutes they couldn't wait to get rid of me, it was what I expected really. My dc passed the year 6 SAT's which is absolutely laughable really, she didn't take them with the rest of the kids was given 1 on 1 with a teacher. Dc reported at the time that they had had extra help and time so the results are not worth the paper they are written on to be honest. So I guess now my next move is to make a formal complaint to the council department that deals with schools.

Ceto Tue 14-Nov-17 15:00:54

Have you tried talking to the SENCo?

DayDreamer99 Tue 14-Nov-17 15:01:42

The dc that is in year 3, I have no idea what their SAT's results were as we weren't given them. I did ask about them today but apparently they don't have to share that information with me.

DayDreamer99 Tue 14-Nov-17 15:02:43

Yes SENCO was in the meeting just now, she said not one word sat there looking in her lap.

TheSconeOfStone Tue 14-Nov-17 15:04:12

I went via the GP to get my DD screened. We got a referral through to child development centre. My DD's problems are mostly school related but no-one at school suggested screening (judging by the number of professionals involved they must have known).

Is there any reason you can't go via GP?

Justgivemesomepeace Tue 14-Nov-17 15:05:56

I was told time after time in primary, year after year by every teacher my dd had that there were no signs of dyslexia. As soon as I mentioned it to her secondary school tutor, she was tested within days and we were advised she did indeed have dyslexic traits. As a parent you believe the experts. Keep pushing for them. Im sure someone will be along soon who will know the best route to take, but I understand how frustrating it is. Secondary has been much better.

LizzieSiddal Tue 14-Nov-17 15:06:27

I know it is too late now as you will be at the meeting but do you have something in writing form the Secondary school where they are saying your other DC need to be tested?

If not, i would ask the Secondary to provide that. If things don't go your way today, I would forward them the Secondary school advice and tell them you have provided all the info, are not getting anywhere and will now take this further.

Good luck!

MrsPepperpot79 Tue 14-Nov-17 15:07:07

They don't have to yet. As of May the rules change, the new GDPR (replaces data protection act) will allow you to make a SAR (Subject access request) for all info they hold on your child from the school. It will be confrontational, but will get you evidence.
However, given how massively unhelpful they are, I'd concentrate on your appeals and hopefully you will get a place elsewhere!
I would complain though, such an attitude needs challenging.

LizzieSiddal Tue 14-Nov-17 15:09:10

And as other have said, I know several children who have been severely let down at Primary school. Their parents have known things were not right but have been met with a brick wall. At secondary school they have had the tests and help needed in Y7 and have then flourished.

Why is this happening so much?

FireCracker2 Tue 14-Nov-17 15:09:18

You need to tread very carefully. You are proposing to accuse the school of cheating in the SATS tests.This will presumably end the career of the head teacher and class teacher and you are proposing to do this whilst the school still have 3 of your kids? Your kids lives will not be worth living!
Besides aren't CATS tests more about testing the child's innate academic potential .So the logical conclusion is that despite your DC1 being thick as pigshit, they managed to get him through his SATS.Not saying s/he is thick of course, just that that would be an inference that could be drawn.

steppemum Tue 14-Nov-17 15:19:53

I find it interesting that secodnary have assumed that your younger dc will also have issues.
That suggests to me an inherited/genetic component.

If that is the case, gather all the paperwork from dc1. Make sure it includes a written recommendation about testing other dcs.
Go to your GP, they can refer you to a paed, child psychiatrist and I think also an Ed psych.
With your nevidence from secondary, if there is a link to other children it shouldn't be hard.
This is not private, it should be NHS.

With a diagnosis from a professional, you can go back to the school.
Contact Parent partnership, they are there to help parents when dealing with the school.

But please go over to the SEN section of mn. There are loads of people there who are used to fighting the system and will help you to work out how to fight for your kids and your rights.

Mummyoflittledragon Tue 14-Nov-17 15:26:59

The school sounds awful. I hope you will be able to move your younger D.C. soon. I also don’t think you failed you ds. When we know better we do better. I hope you get better luck if you talk to your go.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now