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AIBU?

To wish i had a friend

130 replies

sanddune11 · 13/11/2017 23:15

Just that really, i have a few casual type friends, but no one who i'm close to. Sometimes i just wish i had someone who i could confide in when i'm down. How lovely that must be. Sad

OP posts:
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lifecanbelovely · 13/11/2017 23:16

I feel the same.Flowers

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Tigerbear · 13/11/2017 23:19

I think many people feel the same - lots of casual acquaintances, but maybe only 1-2 proper friends.
I'll be your friend! :-) where are you based?

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ButterfliesandMoths · 13/11/2017 23:26

I know how you feel ☹️

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girlinamber · 13/11/2017 23:35

I feel this too. X

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Bubba1234 · 13/11/2017 23:37

I used to feel the same. How lovely is mumsnet that people can get some emotional support for when they are feeling down. I think people on here are so nice ❤️It would be nice to have a friend but I learned to be my own friend. X

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FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 13/11/2017 23:53

Another one here who feels like you sanddune. Flowers

I have a couple of old friends who live miles away and I see them maybe once or twice a year. Then a few school mums who I will chat to on the way to school etc but they all have 'proper' friends for going out and weekends away etc,

Feel like I missed the boat as these friendship groups were all formed when their DCs first started school. Having DCs at different schools meant rushing drop-offs so I never really got into a group.

My DP says I don't need friends as I have him, but he has friends at work, is close to his family and is always busy with people around him. Personally I like a bit of space and I'm an introvert so I do better with online friends and casual acquaintances, but sometimes I do think how nice it would be to have a 'girly spa weekend' like I see on Facebook!

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MyRelationshipIsWeird · 13/11/2017 23:55

But yes, for emotional support MN is brilliant and I have formed some great online friendships with people I met on here. We were all going through a divorce at the same time and ended up on each other's threads. Maybe we should start a loners group on FB and get to know each other?!

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lifecanbelovely · 14/11/2017 07:22

I’d like that My Smile

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lifecanbelovely · 14/11/2017 07:25

My story is that we moved rurally about 6 years ago and knew no one. I made lots of friends as DS was 2. But the. My STBX retired (50) and I went back to full time work - about 3 years ago. All my friends still carry on with their lives and meet up and I’m now out of the loop completely I feel. Still full time work but now getting divorced so feel disconnected.
I have quite a few friends but no one is call my best friend. I’d like some.

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DameDaffodil · 14/11/2017 07:49

I feel the same. Earlier this year we moved house and now live hundreds of miles away from friends, it's also very rural. I love living here but as time goes on I'm feeling more and more isolated.

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May50 · 14/11/2017 08:20

I'm the same. I moved to be with ExP , now single. Have met some lovely ladies through being mum and getting to know at school but I work full time (and 3kids to sort) so could never go for a coffee and chat after drop off, even though I'd love to - I'm just not in the loop.

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WhatwouldAryado · 14/11/2017 08:22

It's a sad place to be x I can talk at length to my DH but there are some things that just don't get said.

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doodle01 · 14/11/2017 08:25

You can still meet 'life long' best friends even in 'later life' but you need to cast your net and be engaged. They dont come knocking on the door. Get out there and do something as a point of contact. Work friends seldom in my experience unless your young become best friends.

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DameDaffodil · 14/11/2017 08:26

WhatwouldAryado I agree - DH works from home so I'm not alone as such, but it's not the same!

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user1499786242 · 14/11/2017 08:58

I have hardly any friends
No one who I can genuinely count on and tell everything too
I'm 26 with a little boy and I feel I will never have that as not sure a mum from the local babygroup will ever turn into that?
Used to have friends, and I like to think I'm a nice person so not sure how they have all dwindled to nothing really!
I also don't have a supportive mother and my sister is more like an acquaintance
I see people I know who have massive friendship groups, they go on holidays, shopping trips and just generally support and love each other and it kinda breaks my heart tbh


So you're not alone! Flowers

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Mrsfloss · 14/11/2017 08:59

Where do you all live? Maybe see if any mumsnetters ate in your area

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Ilovelampandchair · 14/11/2017 09:06

I'll be your friend. Pop around for a coffee later and we'll shoot the breeze about nothing in particular and plan some nice stuff to do.

Do you think it's a confidence thing? I personally love meeting new people and have had to start again quite a few times just with moving countries and work. I find you meet a bunch of people and a few just 'stick'. I'm comfortable around anyone but sometimes I just find someone or a few people that seem to like me too and make a little effort. Just met our new neighbours and they're fantastic, I already know we'll be good friends.

I work from home full time and have very small children so find it hard to be out and about at all but when I do see people I just love it. Maybe they can sense my desperation😂 But you have to remember that everyone both wants and needs people in their lives so it might as well be you.

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Henrysmycat · 14/11/2017 09:07

I have some childhood friends that are my sisters, we try to see each other every 3-4 months as we live in different countries and continents but I have to be honest, my DH is my BFF. Sounds lame but it's true. I am not big on girlie activities and he will never say no to a spa weekend so that works well.
I generally, don't have time to keep up with family and work so it works ok for me.

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Catwithglasses · 14/11/2017 09:19

I have old friends but they live far away so we don't meet often. I've never had a girly bff but more and more wish I had someone - local - I could just have a coffee and chat with or go to the cinema.

It always slightly upsets me when people comment 'you don't need them' or 'find your own people' on threads about school mums etc. because I've tried most tactics and it is really hard.

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furlinedsheepskinjacket · 14/11/2017 09:22

awww

loneliness is just horrible

i'm here to offer being a friend too.message me if you like. x

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Mumto2two · 14/11/2017 09:29

I have felt like that too OP. You are definitely not alone Flowers
I have come to realise however, that friendships do come & go throughout your life, and some are easier than others, some are just plain hard work, and it is a rarer thing to find a true & special friend. I have some friends, who have lots of mutual couple friends, all dinner parties & holidays together etc., and while it does seem nice at times, I also enjoy our own company on holiday. We are very much homebirds, and it tends to be me who puts the social feelers out, when we do.

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MyRelationshipIsWeird · 14/11/2017 16:27

I'll create a closed group page on Facebook so we can meet up in there and get to know each other Smile I have to add at least one person to make the group so if anyone would like to PM we'll exchange names and set it up.

Any suggestions for a group name? Something upbeat and positive rather than MN Loners Club maybe!?

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angstinabaggyjumper · 14/11/2017 16:35

Chumns.

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Justbookedasummmerholiday · 14/11/2017 16:38

I haven't got any friends. At all. No relatives at all. Me, dh+dc that's our family full stop.
Lonely at times.

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OhNoFuckADuck · 14/11/2017 16:56

I used to have such good friends but had no idea of how valuable that was. Really missing that this month Sad. No amount of "happy ever after" can replace good friends.

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