To not want the cat on my lap?

[winterstail]

Every time I sit down the cat jumps up! I'm very fond of the cat but he squashes my lap, leaves ginger hair on me and means I can't shift position.

Am I being unreasonable?

[Justbookedasummmerholiday]

Yabu. You need to stash snacks nearby and the remote that's all.

[WhooooAmI24601]

YABU because you should know by now that you are there solely to please your feline friend and dance to their whims at any time of the night or day.

[mirime]

Yabu. Your lap belongs to the cat.

[Rebeccaslicker]

I love cats. I am desperately allergic to them.

Which makes my lap a magnet for any cat in the vicinity - even the ones that won't normally go near people. How do they know? How? Is it witchcraft?

[SaucyJack]

It's not all about you y'know.

[BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried]

You seem confused about the purpose of your lap. What did you think it was for?

[Cantspell2]

I have 3 cats so not enough lap room. One sits on my shoulder instead. Bloody uncomfortable but does keep my neck warm.

[winterstail]

rebecca they are talented at that!

[ineedamoreadultieradult]

Yabu, put a blanket over your legs to save your clothes from the cat hairs (also makes it more comfy for the cat) gather whatever you need within arms reach and be prepared to be uncomfortable all evening. It's all in the contract.

[Jaffalong]

My cat is currently sprawled right in the middle of my bed and I can't move my legs.

Another time she tried to sleep on top of my head while I was lying in bed reading my book. She became very cross because I had the audacity to move my head!

[Rebeccaslicker]

Bah I am jealous of all your cat skills. Curse my stupid histamine. I love their little triangular pointy heads and ears and the way they push their head into your hand when you stroke them and when they purr.

I don't love the sneezing and the red itchy eyes and the lumpy itchy throat that makes you want to shove a biro down there to scratch it and the asthma...

... but I still want a cat goddammit!

[BiglyBadgers]

Of course you are being unreasonable. You are honoured! Honoured I tell you! To be blessed with a cat choosing to sit on your lap is truely a wondrous gift. I have never in all my days heard of such ingratitude.

[LeakyLittleBoat]

Did you even read the small print in the cat/human contract?
Your best choice would be to swap the cat for a dog - the dog will also want to sit on you but, if you push him off, at least he won't plot to murder you in your sleep.

[anotherprosecco]

YABVU, your lap is made for cats. I am so happy, none of our previous cats ever sat on our laps, now I have two Birmans and they are always on our laps. I luffs them.

[Glumglowworm]

YABU, part of having a cat is making your lap available whenever they want to sit on it

[Vitalogy]

My cat got the message in the end, just keep putting him back down. He'll own you else. mine has me trained in internal door opening though

[Thesmallthings]

Ybu... your don't own a cat... the cat owns you.

See below for more evidence.... our master climbed over my head to sit by young one and deemed it necessary that he be cleaned... every time he moved his head she clipped him on the head with her poor to lay still. She did this for 5 minutes before buffering off to his bed to wait him.

[CarbyDiem]

Dear Boy is Velcro attached to my neck about 90% of the time. I love him dearly but he dribbles down my neck and it’s hard to get anything done.

[DrRisotto]

Rebecca You may be inadvertently attracting cats by displaying excellent cat manners - that is ignoring them. It is those desperate cat lovers who (shock horror) look at them and actively try to attract them who are behaving incredibly gauche and they wouldn't be seen dead on our laps. I suggest staring at the cats to deter them from your lap.

[poisoningpidgeysinthepark]

I feel your pain. Every time DH's cat tries to sit on me I shoo him off, which causes DH to launch into a passive aggressive apology on my behalf - "Awwww take no notice pussy puss, PPitP isn't very keen on pussies, her bad, I don't understand it either, you're SUCH a sweet boy pusspusspuss"
Bloody animal

[TheNoodlesIncident]

If you're very, very, lucky, your cat may deign to accompany you to bed and lie on your legs so you can't move for ages! How you'll love that. My cat is supremely good at this now

[PeterIanStaker]

This is me this evening. I love my slothcat.

[Thesmallthings]

Omg I love these pictures esp slot cat just chilling

[ForalltheSaints]

A blanket or even a large towel over your lap may be the solution that works, as the cat will probably not say no.

My mum would be upset reading this as my sister's cats have resisted all suggestions of sitting on her lap.

[HidingBehindTheWallpaper]

My girl jumped on to DH’s lap last night at 6.30. She stayed there until 11pm and would only get off with the promise of food.
She then came to bed and slept on his legs.