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To not want the cat on my lap?

(40 Posts)
winterstail Mon 13-Nov-17 20:13:32

Every time I sit down the cat jumps up! I'm very fond of the cat but he squashes my lap, leaves ginger hair on me and means I can't shift position.

Am I being unreasonable? grin

Justbookedasummmerholiday Mon 13-Nov-17 20:14:49

Yabu. You need to stash snacks nearby and the remote that's all.

WhooooAmI24601 Mon 13-Nov-17 20:15:37

YABU because you should know by now that you are there solely to please your feline friend and dance to their whims at any time of the night or day.

mirime Mon 13-Nov-17 20:15:50

Yabu. Your lap belongs to the cat.

Rebeccaslicker Mon 13-Nov-17 20:16:48

I love cats. I am desperately allergic to them.

Which makes my lap a magnet for any cat in the vicinity - even the ones that won't normally go near people. How do they know? How? Is it witchcraft?

SaucyJack Mon 13-Nov-17 20:19:07

It's not all about you y'know.

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Mon 13-Nov-17 20:19:15

You seem confused about the purpose of your lap. What did you think it was for? grin

Cantspell2 Mon 13-Nov-17 20:19:20

I have 3 cats so not enough lap room. One sits on my shoulder instead. Bloody uncomfortable but does keep my neck warm.

winterstail Mon 13-Nov-17 20:20:56


rebecca they are talented at that!

ineedamoreadultieradult Mon 13-Nov-17 20:21:04

Yabu, put a blanket over your legs to save your clothes from the cat hairs (also makes it more comfy for the cat) gather whatever you need within arms reach and be prepared to be uncomfortable all evening. It's all in the contract.

Jaffalong Mon 13-Nov-17 20:21:09

My cat is currently sprawled right in the middle of my bed and I can't move my legs.

Another time she tried to sleep on top of my head while I was lying in bed reading my book. She became very cross because I had the audacity to move my head! grin

Rebeccaslicker Mon 13-Nov-17 20:23:03

Bah I am jealous of all your cat skills. Curse my stupid histamine. I love their little triangular pointy heads and ears and the way they push their head into your hand when you stroke them and when they purr.

I don't love the sneezing and the red itchy eyes and the lumpy itchy throat that makes you want to shove a biro down there to scratch it and the asthma...

... but I still want a cat goddammit!

BiglyBadgers Mon 13-Nov-17 20:25:04

Of course you are being unreasonable. You are honoured! Honoured I tell you! To be blessed with a cat choosing to sit on your lap is truely a wondrous gift. I have never in all my days heard of such ingratitude. shock

LeakyLittleBoat Mon 13-Nov-17 20:25:59

Did you even read the small print in the cat/human contract?
Your best choice would be to swap the cat for a dog - the dog will also want to sit on you but, if you push him off, at least he won't plot to murder you in your sleep.

anotherprosecco Mon 13-Nov-17 20:33:49

YABVU, your lap is made for cats. I am so happy, none of our previous cats ever sat on our laps, now I have two Birmans and they are always on our laps. I luffs them.

Glumglowworm Mon 13-Nov-17 20:47:19

YABU, part of having a cat is making your lap available whenever they want to sit on it

Vitalogy Mon 13-Nov-17 21:04:16

My cat got the message in the end, just keep putting him back down. He'll own you else. mine has me trained in internal door opening though

Thesmallthings Mon 13-Nov-17 21:04:36

Ybu... your don't own a cat... the cat owns you.

See below for more evidence.... our master climbed over my head to sit by young one and deemed it necessary that he be cleaned... every time he moved his head she clipped him on the head with her poor to lay still. She did this for 5 minutes before buffering off to his bed to wait him.

CarbyDiem Mon 13-Nov-17 21:08:52

Dear Boy is Velcro attached to my neck about 90% of the time. I love him dearly but he dribbles down my neck and it’s hard to get anything done.

DrRisotto Mon 13-Nov-17 21:10:16

Rebecca You may be inadvertently attracting cats by displaying excellent cat manners - that is ignoring them. It is those desperate cat lovers who (shock horror) look at them and actively try to attract them who are behaving incredibly gauche and they wouldn't be seen dead on our laps. I suggest staring at the cats to deter them from your lap.

poisoningpidgeysinthepark Mon 13-Nov-17 21:13:49

I feel your pain. Every time DH's cat tries to sit on me I shoo him off, which causes DH to launch into a passive aggressive apology on my behalf - "Awwww take no notice pussy puss, PPitP isn't very keen on pussies, her bad, I don't understand it either, you're SUCH a sweet boy pusspusspuss"
Bloody animal hmm

TheNoodlesIncident Mon 13-Nov-17 21:36:59

If you're very, very, lucky, your cat may deign to accompany you to bed and lie on your legs so you can't move for ages! How you'll love that. My cat is supremely good at this now <bitter>

PeterIanStaker Mon 13-Nov-17 21:41:08

This is me this evening. I love my slothcat.

Thesmallthings Mon 13-Nov-17 21:42:09

Omg I love these pictures esp slot cat just chilling

ForalltheSaints Mon 13-Nov-17 21:42:23

A blanket or even a large towel over your lap may be the solution that works, as the cat will probably not say no.

My mum would be upset reading this as my sister's cats have resisted all suggestions of sitting on her lap.

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