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To let DS sleep in my bed?

(47 Posts)
Thistledew Mon 13-Nov-17 19:48:17

He is 15 months. We are staying at my parents' where he usually sleeps in a travel cot. I sleep on a low futon in the same room.

Tonight during his bedtime routine I was getting him ready for bed with us sitting on the futon. He took himself up to the head of the bed and lay down with his head on the pillow and pulled up the duvet. When I asked him "Where does mummy sleep?" he pointed to one pillow. When I asked him "Where does DS sleep?" he pointed to the other. It seemed to me to be a clear request to sleep in my bed.

Do I let him?

Pickleypickles Mon 13-Nov-17 19:49:13

If you want to?

blackteasplease Mon 13-Nov-17 19:50:05

I agree with pp. If you want to!

Justbookedasummmerholiday Mon 13-Nov-17 19:51:32

Don't do it!!
All cute at 15 months.
Not so further down the line.

Thesmallthings Mon 13-Nov-17 19:52:34

If you want to. He sounds adorable.

They won't be wanting to sleep in your bed forever so unless your dead against it I don't see the harm.
I have found memories of my ds s sneaking into bed for cuddles. My 8byear old still does sometimes to.

DeadDeadDeadRose Mon 13-Nov-17 19:53:04

Do it if you want. Why not? My nearly 3 year old mostly sleeps in his own bed but sometimes if he's unhappy he'll come into ours for a bit. He's not goi to be doing it at 15.

Thistledew Mon 13-Nov-17 19:54:40

I'm still quite anxious about SIDS risk. He does come into bed with me and DH if he wakes before 6am or on rare occasions if he is teething or ill and won't settle in his cot but I would still worry about duvets and pillows if he was sleeping the whole night.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair Mon 13-Nov-17 19:55:11

Meh, mine slept in my bed til he was nearly five and moved out of his own accord. I was content. He was fine and well adjusted. It's not for everyone.

I think you can divert from normal routines when you're away from home without it necessarily having implications for The Rest Of Your Life, anyway.

Thistledew Mon 13-Nov-17 20:07:10

Aww. I put him down in his cot in the end as when I tried to lay him down on the futon he stirred and cried (he most often goes into his cot at home awake but is usually so tired with the excitement of being at grandparents' house that he feeds to sleep here), but he settled quite contentedly in his cot a few minutes later.

It's a wonderful age, isn't it? They are just starting to be able to properly communicate their wishes and desires but are still quite often babyish enough to be rather overwhelmed when they are granted some autonomy.

Lethaldrizzle Mon 13-Nov-17 20:07:58

I slept with all my babies

Thistledew Mon 13-Nov-17 20:12:07

I had DS in a babybay cot right next to me until he was 7 months old and crawling, and it then wasn't safe for him to be in it as he would have been out and on the floor in an instant. He went into his own cot in his own room and instantly slept better than he had done for months!

Changerofname987654321 Mon 13-Nov-17 20:13:45

My 18 months has all her sleep at home in my bed.

TittyGolightly Mon 13-Nov-17 20:13:51

at 15 months is there any SIDS risk?!

TittyGolightly Mon 13-Nov-17 20:14:39

Majority of the world sleep with their babies. Majority of the world has happier children than the UK. Coincidence?!

Mouikey Mon 13-Nov-17 20:15:07

We have co-slept since day one and still do at 15 months. She normally goes into her bed until 1 then ours for the rest of the night. Everyone happy!

We do have a superking bed and don’t ever put her under the duvet but she does have her own tiny flat pillow now!

WhimsicalTart Mon 13-Nov-17 20:17:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notreallyarsed Mon 13-Nov-17 20:18:42

DS2 is 3, he spent last night in our bed because he wasn’t feeling well and DP slept on the sofa. Tonight he’s back in his own bed quite the thing. Now and again ours dive into our bed if they’re poorly but that’s it, they prefer their own beds the rest of the time.

Layla8 Mon 13-Nov-17 20:20:05

Interesting isn’t it ? I totally get the lovely closeness of sleeping with your child, but I would never have done it. Always needed ‘ me ‘ time. Also , love the intimacy with my husband at the end of busy days. Just the two of us cuddling up. Precious time.

deptfordgirl Mon 13-Nov-17 20:24:45

My ds always sleeps with us when we're not at home as he finds it too traumatic settling in a new place. I actually really love it. Think the sids risk is very small (if at all?) at that age.

TittyGolightly Mon 13-Nov-17 21:27:12

Interesting isn’t it ? I totally get the lovely closeness of sleeping with your child, but I would never have done it. Always needed ‘ me ‘ time. Also , love the intimacy with my husband at the end of busy days. Just the two of us cuddling up. Precious time.

Why should adults get closeness and cuddles through the night but not small children? That’s so weird!

EmilyChambers79 Mon 13-Nov-17 21:43:07

I co slept from day DS was born until he was 3.5 years. Loved it, and he was sleeping through from 10 until 530 from 6 weeks. We both slept better.

He's 10 now and will still creep in for a cuddle but happily went into his own bed to sleep at 3.5. I think I found it harder than he did!

EmilyChambers79 Mon 13-Nov-17 21:45:39

Also , love the intimacy with my husband at the end of busy days. Just the two of us cuddling up. Precious time

You can have that outside of the bedroom too, it's not restricted to bedroom behaviour.

Mittens1969 Mon 13-Nov-17 22:15:53

DD2 (5) often comes into our bed during the night. I actually don’t mind now I’m used to it. She’s never slept as well as DD1 and it’s been easier to cope with since I stopped trying to get her back into her own bed,

Layla8 Tue 14-Nov-17 09:08:39

TittyGolightly and EmilyChambers79, I agree, but there’s something special about the absolute quiet and calm. Absolutely love spooning with him. My husband’s first wife always put the children first, once they were born he was left in no doubt where he stood. Fair enough when they’re small, but it went on through to adulthood. Inevitably led to the break up. If the children want to jump into our bed in the morning, that’s great, but not all night.

ReanimatedSGB Tue 14-Nov-17 09:21:07

Hmm, be careful, Layla8. A man who either demands, or is subtly training you, to prioritize his interests above the DCs' is a man who might well become abusive. Especially if he whines about his XW having 'put the children first'. You could have picked an entitled arsehole for yourself.
Does he see his other DC or pay maintenance? If not, don't give up work...

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