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To be sad I'm doing nothing for my 30th?

(25 Posts)
demirose87 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:35:35

I'm turning 30 in a few weeks and I've got absolutely nothing planned for it, which is making me feel a bit down. I've got 4 kids, three are under 4 and my youngest is only 7 weeks so I never go out. The last time I had a night off from my kids was 5 years ago. I suggested to my partner that I ask my mum and her partner to babysit for a couple of hours while my partner and I go for a meal, but they have said no as there's a football match they want to watch in the pub, either that or she could mind them between 4 and 6 but my partner's in work till 6 anyway so that won't be possible. I don't normally do much for my birthdays but with it being a "milestone" birthday I didn't want to just let the day pass me by. Any ideas for how I can have a nice birthday at home?

Thesmallthings Mon 13-Nov-17 19:39:12

That does blow. I think it's pretty shellfish of them. Is there any ine else that could look after them.. Maybe split them up...so it's easier?

Failing that..

Family meal out then leave dh to babysit while you go out with friends?

Thesmallthings Mon 13-Nov-17 19:39:26

That does blow. I think it's pretty shellfish of them. Is there any ine else that could look after them.. Maybe split them up...so it's easier?

Failing that..

Family meal out then leave dh to babysit while you go out with friends?

Rainbowandraindrops67 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:40:42

I don’t know where you live but there’s a few companies that you can hire chefs to come and cook a special meal for you both at home - they bring all the stuff they need with them.

blackteasplease Mon 13-Nov-17 19:40:50

Tell your dp how you are feeling. Let them either sort out babysitting or organise something lovely at home.

Your Mum and her partner do sound a bit mean but they aren't your life partner fortunately!

Ohffsmalcom Mon 13-Nov-17 19:40:52

Aw you sound very busy with a newborn and other kids.

Are you sure they aren’t planning a surprise as that sounds a crap excuse about the pub and the footie!

How about you ask them to babysit another night not on the actual day and go out then? You could then have a long bath and a take away and good movie on the actual day with your DH. Would he have the kids on the nearest weekend for a couple of hours whilst you have your hair done or go shopping?

Rainbowandraindrops67 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:41:33

Oh and get your mum to watch the kids between 4-6 and you go for a beauty treatment then

AnaWinter Mon 13-Nov-17 19:43:51

Why don’t you have a nice night with in with your dp (get a nice takeaway) and ask your Mum to do another night.

demirose87 Mon 13-Nov-17 20:04:51

Thanks for the nice replies, I doubt they are planning anything as they don't normally make a fuss for birthdays. I am just so tired and really wanted to spend some time off with my partner and thought my 30th was a good enough reason. He knows I'm feeling upset about it, so I think we will probably get a takeaway and maybe watch a film or something.

GetYourRosariesOffMyOvaries Mon 13-Nov-17 20:14:32

How can you be sure he's not planning a surprise?

demirose87 Mon 13-Nov-17 20:53:28

We've got no one to mind the kids now so he definitely won't have planned anything. I'm sure he will do his best to make the day special though.

FlouncyDoves Mon 13-Nov-17 20:55:29

Seeing as you’re turning 30 and not 10, why don’t you just get on with it and not make a big deal?

Thesmallthings Mon 13-Nov-17 20:57:38

flouncy your hard as nails you ain't ya.

How dare she want to feel a bit special once a year.

wobblywonderwoman Mon 13-Nov-17 21:00:24

If all esle fails take your mum on the offer of the 4-6 help and get a curly blow dry / nails

Or can dh get the day off?

At least get a nice takeaway (maybe from a restaurant ) candles, bottle of champagne

demirose87 Mon 13-Nov-17 21:04:17

Flouncy, I've never done anything for my birthday and I wanted to do something nice for once. Well aware I'm not ten, I feel about 150 most days.

Belleoftheball8 Mon 13-Nov-17 21:11:11

Could your dh do a romantic meal for you at home? Tbh I don’t know many people who would baby sit 4 dc especially 3under 4. Unfortunately it’s part and parcel of being a parent it sucks but it’s our choice to have dc. We rarely go out maybe twice a year if we are so lucky but our dc are older and in bed when we get a babysitter

Salene Mon 13-Nov-17 21:14:03

Just have a nice take away once kids in bed - maybe your partner could diet bedtime while you sit downstairs for a change and just relax

Then another night get mother to babysit and go out for your meal then

So you get two birthday days smile

FlouncyDoves Mon 13-Nov-17 21:14:33

It’s just another day.

Loctite Mon 13-Nov-17 21:22:11

demi that is really shit and I think your mum really could have made a bit more of an effort, it is not everyday you turn 30!

If it was me, I would not ask her to mind then kids again, she has made it clear she doesn't want to, at least this time.

I think I would plan an evening of treats with my dh if I were you. I would be thinking along of the lines of getting the kids to bed as early as possible.

Then pretend that your bedroom is a hotel room for the night! Nice bath (together! Or at least with him soaping your back etc) with a bottle of bubbles, indulgent bath products and only candle light.

Then into bed with the best takeaway you know, more bubbles and lots of your favourite treats (birthday cake / chocolate - whatever floats your boat)

Clean bedding, flowers (even a supermarket bunch) romantic lighting, a pile of magazines, soft music or a good movie on tv / laptop etc. And just really take the time to chat and be together! Like a mini-break without leaving your own home!

coffee in bed the next morning!

I am basing this sort of on personal experience - we had no money for my 40th. Dh booked really cheap flights to Paris and a cheap, small hotel, it was winter and freezing cold sleety weather. We had walked about all day and were cold and tire, we came back to the hotel to get changed and dh wanted to bring me out for a meal, but I was worried about money and was feeling down about turning 40 (from a ttc point of view). He filled the bath for me and as I was lying there, enjoying just being there, I decided that I REALLY didn't want to go out at all.

Dh went out and got us a pizza from the Italian across the street (turned out to be THE best pizza we ever had! We went back a few years later and it was just as good) and a bottle of champagne which we ate and drank in bed (from the toothbrush glasses) and it was absolutely perfect. I still consider it one of my favourite birthdays ever!

Since then we have recreated it at home once or twice for either his birthday or mine and it has been great. It is nice to have an evening free of all the usual crap and to spend it laughing and cuddling etc.

Wishing you a very happy 30th whatever you decide to do!

CurlsandCurves Mon 13-Nov-17 21:24:08

I understand. When I turned 30 I had my first baby who was 6mths old. I remember being at home alone thinking is this it? Luckily I did get a meal out with my family which was lovely.

Turning 40 however, with older children was just awesome! We got to spend time as a couple, as a family, with extended family, it was ace!

Hang in there, I’m sure you can find a way to do something special.

Greene01 Tue 14-Nov-17 20:46:24

Just wanted to weigh in with my support and really hope you find some way of celebrating. Having a bit of you time will make the world of difference. Is there any way DH can take the day off work for a family outing? Not the same, but changing routine might feel different. Or...could DH look after the littlelies and you could go with a friend for a pamper session? As for Flouncy and her input, just ignore, she sounds like a very bitter joyless person.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips Tue 14-Nov-17 20:54:34

Could you take your mum up on the babysitting offer and go to a beauty salon for a nice treatment. Then get DH to sort the kids( if that's possible) for bed. Nice bottle of fizz and a takeaway. Then in a few weeks /months get your mum/sitter booked in advance and have an evening out?

demirose87 Tue 14-Nov-17 21:49:22

Thanks all for lovely replies. I think there's a possibility we will be able to go out another night so that would be good. Fingers crossed 😊

DoesHeWantToOrNot Tue 14-Nov-17 21:52:17

My ex husband made me homeless the day before my 30th. This year I'll be 33 (tomorrow) and I'm spending the day with my lovely dp and dd. Can't wait.

demirose87 Tue 14-Nov-17 22:34:30

I'm so sorry to hear that, bless you. Hope you have a great day tomorrow cake

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