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Would you leave a 14yo overnight with his older siblings?

(27 Posts)
Changedforthisposting Mon 13-Nov-17 17:17:51

Name changed as posting on behalf of DH.

DH has four DCs aged 14, 16, 17 (turning 18 next month) and 20.

The 16yo and 20yo already spend several overnights by themselves each month at their mum's house as they prefer to just visit DH regularly rather than transition between houses (their mum is away at her partner's home when it's not her contact weekend). The DC also spend daytimes by themselves during school holidays i.e the dynamic between all four of them is fine and they're happy sorting out their own meals etc.

DH has a work meeting coming up in three weeks requiring an overnight stay so he won't be able to have the 14yo and 17yo for one night during his contact time. AIBU to think it would be fine to leave all four DC together by themselves for just one overnight if the DC themselves are OK with it?

Justbookedasummmerholiday Mon 13-Nov-17 17:18:59

Def OK.
My ds are 14,16+23 and are fine home alone!!

claraschu Mon 13-Nov-17 17:19:33

Yes of course.

Gorgeous73 Mon 13-Nov-17 17:20:09

If they're fine together and no obvious danger/harm, I don't see the problem. All of them are old enough, 20 year old is an adult who can take responsibility.

oldlaundbooth Mon 13-Nov-17 17:21:01

Yes of course.

Phosphorus Mon 13-Nov-17 17:23:02

Of course it's fine.

I can't imagine how there'd be any doubt.

kaytee87 Mon 13-Nov-17 17:23:30

Yes it would be totally fine assuming you trust them.

Mamabear4180 Mon 13-Nov-17 17:23:43

Yes that's fine.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou Mon 13-Nov-17 17:23:57

Definitely! Recently had my second ever night away with my DH since we had children and it was all down to my 19 year old being home from university and taking care of 14 year old. Last time (and first) was when eldest was 16 (so left at home) and youngest was away on school residential.

AdalindSchade Mon 13-Nov-17 17:26:04

Why on earth not? 2 of them are adults!

SomewhatIdiosyncratic Mon 13-Nov-17 17:26:53

Another vote for fine if they're trustworthy.

At 15, I was left alone for a week to look after my 22 year old brother. He'd survived university at the far end of the country, he was just more likely to do daft stuff like forgetting to lock up wink
We got on really well and had a good week with no incidents at all. (Not even cooking pizza bases which he had form for)

madwoman1ntheatt1c Mon 13-Nov-17 17:28:24

Yes of course. I left 18,17,14 and 12 (with cerebral palsy) for a night. Two of them had standard first aid and one is a lifeguard though (not the 18yo - she was actually the one I was most worried about as she can barely ignite the gas hob. The others promised they wouldn't leave her alone though. I wasn't contactable - in the back country out of mobile phone service, and dh was overseas on business.

They know how to lock a door, make pasta, and call the emergency services. The worst that would happen would be the 14yo staying up all night on the computer. I can live with that.

FlowerPot1234 Mon 13-Nov-17 17:28:41

I don't get this. Why wouldn't it be OK to leave two children with two adult siblings? confused

Charley50 Mon 13-Nov-17 17:29:29

It's a yes from me!

Storminateapot Mon 13-Nov-17 17:31:22

Yes. Have done so.

Pagwatch Mon 13-Nov-17 17:34:04

Unless there are some special circumstances you haven't raised yet, of course. I'm struggling to see why it wouldn't be ok?

Changedforthisposting Mon 13-Nov-17 17:37:25

Apologies for the drip feed but the eldest has ASD but is high functioning and now attends mainstream uni, and as I said is comfortable being left overnight. I didn't mention it in the OP as I wanted to know whether leaving a 14yo with siblings overnight was a grey area in principle.

Thanks for your responses so far.

Anotherdayanotherdollar Mon 13-Nov-17 17:39:00

2 teenagers being left with 2 adults (or 1 possibly a week away from being legally an adult). Can't see how that would be a problem.

lljkk Mon 13-Nov-17 17:41:18

My adult DS is a bit of a git, doesn't get along with siblings. So only in an emergency with him. But if your adult DC are nice people, there would be no issue in my mind.

JWrecks Mon 13-Nov-17 17:48:04

Absolutely fine IMO.

Pythonesque Mon 13-Nov-17 17:49:06

I would be happy to leave my just-15 yr old overnight on her own if circumstances arose where it was helpful, and if she was happy with it. In fact if we had to I think we could trust her and her 12 yr old brother overnight, though I would hope/expect to avoid such a need for a while yet. They've done a long day by themselves a few months ago (youngest had activities to go to part of the day).

So yes, your scenario sounds fine.

JustDanceAddict Mon 13-Nov-17 17:50:17


Autumnskiesarelovely Mon 13-Nov-17 17:57:20

Do you trust all of them?
Are the ones in charge responsible and capable and over 18?
Have you gone through what they do if there was an emergency?
Have you left Rules about what to do e.g, no other friends overnight, no one just goes out without checking, everyone gets on and shares, no dangerous cooking like deciding to fry chips and not answering the door etc unless they know who it is.

List of numbers on the fridge. Very handy to have another adult e.g. family member who lives near enough to pop by to check them and / or to call if anything happens.

Anotherdayanotherdollar Mon 13-Nov-17 21:48:56

Have you gone through what they do if there was an emergency?
no dangerous cooking like deciding to fry chips and not answering the door etc unless they know who it is.

List of numbers on the fridge. Very handy to have another adult e.g. family member who lives near enough to pop by to check them and / or to call if anything happens


Why would they need yet another adult to pop by?? 2 of them are already adults!! No frying chips? No answering the door to strangers?? Christ on a bike!! These are people old enough to vote/marry/fight for their country!

buzzbuzzbumblebee Mon 13-Nov-17 21:56:25

When I was 14 and my sister was nearly 17, we used to babysit our little sister who was less than 6 months old at the time. So our mum could go out for the night.

Fair enough she would return in the early hours of the morning but we would get her up and sort her out if she cried so Mum didn’t have to.
Then come the morning, we’d get up with her again until Mum got up.

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