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Sharing hotel room with friend... AIBU

(94 Posts)
LittleMissUnreasonable Mon 13-Nov-17 13:27:43

Hello, first post so please be kind smile I'll keep it short but sweet

Friends birthday party is being held in a major city so very expensive to organise accommodation.
All of our friends have been invited including partners who are also part of he friendship group.
The only single members of the group without DPs is me and one male partner (his gf can't attend due to money issues)
A hotel room on my own costs almost double what everyone is paying.
I don't feel comfortable sharing with the other male as his GF is quite paranoid about him sharing with another woman (understandable)
There is 1 couple in the whole group married and living together (my friend of years). I have therefore asked her if I can get a hotel room with her for the 1 night and suggested her Dp shares with the other single male (they are close mates).

The friend and her DP have got back to me and said they would rather not as they hardly see each other and spend time together and want to spend the night together .

AIBU by;
1. Being hurt by this as they are the only couple living together and can't bare to spend 1 night apart so I can attend
2. Feeling a bit scorned they didn't offer to help me find an alternative. Just dismissed it.
3. Feeling like they were the best call as they live together unlike the other friends who are all doing long distance.

Bringmewineandcake Mon 13-Nov-17 13:29:29

I can understand why they don’t want to, to be fair.
Couldn’t you put a message out on fb or whatsapp with your dilemma, and see if someone offers to share?

Dippingmytoesin Mon 13-Nov-17 13:29:56

I think YABU to be honest.

They’ve told you they hardy see eachother and want to spend the night together I think that’s acceptable for a couple to want that.

You’re an adult so they don’t have to help you find an alternative really it’s not their issue.

Rachie1973 Mon 13-Nov-17 13:31:38

I think YBU

I wouldn't swap away from my partner for that reason either. My friends wouldn't expect me to.

blackteasplease Mon 13-Nov-17 13:32:41

I think yabu, sorry. You can't ask that of a couple especially if they don't see each other much

I do understand it feels like there's a tax on being single- I'm single at the moment myself. But you can't ask this.

SilverSpot Mon 13-Nov-17 13:32:42

You asked, they said no. Guess it would have been nice if they said yes but TBH I think I would want to share a hotel room with my DP after a party. Morning sex in a nice hotel room after a party is the best!

Also, what alternative do you want them to sort? If you can't think of a good option why would they be able to?

Have you asked the birthday girl f you can stay with her?

Have you asked if any couples will get a 2 room airbnb with you? Prob be cheaper than 2 hotel rooms.

Book into a cheaper hotel/hostel?

blueskyinmarch Mon 13-Nov-17 13:34:47

I wouldn't want to spend a night with a female friend at the expense of spending a night with my DH. You just have to suck up the cost of your room. Sorry.

notangelinajolie Mon 13-Nov-17 13:35:09

I would do it for a friend and YANBU to ask but if they want to be together then that's perfectly reasonable too. I'm afraid it looks like you are on your own for this one.

pleasewelcometherealme Mon 13-Nov-17 13:35:10

I see where you're coming from but if DH and I were going away with friends we wouldn't be keen for him to share with someone else so I could share with a friend. Our reasons would be a) despite having lived together for many years we don't get a lot of time to actually enjoy each other's company (work/children etc). DH also does not like sharing sleeping space with people he does not know well (he feels uncomfortable and does not sleep well). We also don't have a lot of spare cash so if we are going to spend money on a night away for both of us we would want to be together. If it was to facilitate a very, very good friend going we might consider doing what you have asked but otherwise not.

BenLui Mon 13-Nov-17 13:35:18

Sorry YABU.

I don’t like sharing with friends. I do it when I have to of course but I much much prefer to share with my DH.

I wouldn’t want to say yes to your suggestion either. I certainly wouldn’t see it as my problem to sort out.

Originalfoogirl Mon 13-Nov-17 13:35:52

I wouldn't swap either. Why should my OH share with someone else? Have you asked if the hotel offers a single room, they often do.

This is not their problem, it is yours. You picked them to help, they shouldn't feel obliged to do so.

Katedotness1963 Mon 13-Nov-17 13:35:54

I think YABU? I wouldn't even have asked a couple to split up to share a room with me, and it's not their place to help you find accommodation.

Could you look into a B&B for the night, that might be cheaper? Or Air B&B for a place with 2/3 bedrooms for sharing?

Bambamber Mon 13-Nov-17 13:36:39


Sweetpea55 Mon 13-Nov-17 13:37:04

I wouldnt swap either. Its not their problem that your on your own, You seem to think that by not swapping they're preventing you from going,
Maybe the OH doesnt want to share with his friend,,,Guys can be a bit funny about that sort of thing.

At they end of the day they dont owe it to you to swap rooms around,so that you can go,

Ttbb Mon 13-Nov-17 13:38:53

YABVU. Who does that?

kootoo123 Mon 13-Nov-17 13:38:54

I think yabu sorry. Most couples look forward to events like this to rekindle the spark you cant ask them to swap. Their reson for no is sound. It sucks being single for reasons like hotel rooms but why should others be sorting this for you? you're a grown adult.

jerrysbellyhangslikejelly Mon 13-Nov-17 13:39:33

I'm sorry but YABU. I understand your predicament but if I were in their shoes I too would only want to share with my partner and I'm a bit surprised you asked. Sharing with the male friend or finding cheaper accommodation is the most sensible solution. I'm not sure how they were supposed to find you an alternative.

Sweetpea55 Mon 13-Nov-17 13:40:17

Why should they help you find an alternative,,? Time to put your big girl shoes on i think.

LittleMissUnreasonable Mon 13-Nov-17 13:40:25

Thanks for all the replies and you're right maybe I'm being unreasonablesmile

I just thought that one night in the grand scheme of things wouldn't make a lost of difference to them but thanks anyway for your views smile

FitBitFanClub Mon 13-Nov-17 13:40:38

Why is your room costing double? Surely it's the same price as all the other rooms?

zebedebe Mon 13-Nov-17 13:40:47

YABU I’m afraid. They are a couple, of course they want to share a room. It’s not their job to help you sort accommodation. Why not ditch the hotel and stay in a hostel.

Justmuddlingalong Mon 13-Nov-17 13:40:49

Why is it their responsibility to find an alternative solution?

coddiwomple Mon 13-Nov-17 13:42:42

I think YABU too

Even if the live together, they are likely on "work mode" most of the time, so a night in a hotel for a party together is completely different.
I wouldn't swap room either, plus I don't like sharing rooms with people who are not my DH or my kids.

If it's a major city, there must be a wide choice of accomodation, have you even looked?

You could also ask the others too. There might be a couple who know they will be so drunk they won't care where they sleep for example.

fassbendersmistress Mon 13-Nov-17 13:43:42

YABU, this is your problem, not your friends, to sort. Why on earth should they compromise like this so you can attend?

You sound bitter that you have to pay more and are taking it out on others. You have to just suck it up or not go. We've all been there.

badabing36 Mon 13-Nov-17 13:44:17

They are probably wanting to.....


Do it.

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