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AIBU?

To be a bit hurt by this?

53 replies

NoSmilesHere · 13/11/2017 10:54

I probably am, but I'm just feeling a bit hurt.

I work in an office of approx. 12 people. No one socialized out of work but we all get on really well in the office. For the past 3 office birthdays we've had, we've had cake and cards for the person in question.

It's my birthday today and I wasn't expecting a card or cake or anything like that, but I've not had a single person say wishing me a happy birthday. They'll know it is - birthdays came up in conversation on Friday and mine was mentioned, and we're all FB friends - I'm not a big FB user but mine buzzes me whenever it's a birthday for one of my friends.

I know it's not a major issue... I think I'm just feeling down as none of my family has said anything at all, and I've had no cards or anything through the post. I'm just feeling a little unloved.

OP posts:
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SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 13/11/2017 10:55

Normally the person whos birthday it is takes in the cake - has no one said thank you ?

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TheCatsMother99 · 13/11/2017 10:57

Happy Birthday!!!!!!

I'd be hurt too, not at the lack of cake (even though I love cake) but at the lack of thought. Hold out though in case they have got something planned but just haven't said yet or are keeping it a surprise.

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treaclesoda · 13/11/2017 10:58

Facebook sometimes notifies me at about 10pm that it's someone's birthday that day, so it's entirely possible that they weren't paying much attention on Friday and it went straight back out of their heads, but that at some point today they will look at their phones and go 'ooh, look, I'd forgotten it was her birthday'.

Happy Birthday from me in the meantime. Cake

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rizlett · 13/11/2017 10:59

Nip out at lunchtime and buy some cake!

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juddyrockingcloggs · 13/11/2017 11:10

Normally the person whos birthday it is takes in the cake - has no one said thank you ?

Say what?!! Who takes in their own birthday cake?! Every place I’ve worked at the cake is bought for the birthday person!!

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FitBitFanClub · 13/11/2017 11:17

We have always taken in cakes/biscuits on our own birthdays. How could it possibly work otherwise with a large staff?

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reallyreallyreallytired · 13/11/2017 11:17

Erm no, it's traditional to bring the cakes in yourself in my experience

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justilou1 · 13/11/2017 11:19

Happy Bday Op. Fuck 'em all! You don't need their validation.

To be a bit hurt by this?
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WhatwouldAryado · 13/11/2017 11:24

Happy Birthday x!
And yup. Usual to take in celebratory food for your birthday wherever I've worked.

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LazySusan11 · 13/11/2017 11:26

Happy Birthday! I hope it gets better for you 🎂

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Partyinvite · 13/11/2017 11:26

Happy birthday!!!

Hace an awesome day and take yourself off somewhere nice for a break at lunch if you can.

(Is it possible there might be cake later on in the day?)

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SilverSpot · 13/11/2017 11:28

Its stupid getting into the office sorting out stuff for peoples birthdays. We do it where the birthday person goes out and gets cake/donuts whatever. That way you do it once a year and no one forgets your birthday and avoids situations like this.

Go out at lunchtime and buy a cake, bring it in and email the team saying "cake for my birthday is on the side, help yourself :-) "

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SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 13/11/2017 11:29

Say what?!! Who takes in their own birthday cake?! Every place I’ve worked at the cake is bought for the birthday person!!

Everyone takes their own cake to sahre.

If everyone bought the birthday person cakes, you end up with one person, The Organiser, forever out of pocket chasing round 50ps and quids to cover the cost.

I have never worked where you didnt take your own cake in.

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SilverSpot · 13/11/2017 11:29

I think I'm just feeling down as none of my family has said anything at all, and I've had no cards or anything through the post. I'm just feeling a little unloved.

I do think you are picking on the wrong people. You're upset that work colleagues haven't remembered but not mega annoyed with your shit family members??

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NoSmilesHere · 13/11/2017 11:31

Thanks all for the birthday wishes.

I've never worked at a place where people bring in cakes for their own birthday, but in my defence, I've only had the 2 jobs. I'm not really a cake fan to be fair, so not bothered too much on that point really. I did bring in some nibbles but I do that quite often so probably doesn't really stand out, aha.

I'm feeling a little less sorry for myself now.

OP posts:
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blackteasplease · 13/11/2017 11:31

I always thought you take in own cake too.

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Ohyesiam · 13/11/2017 11:32

Happy birthday op CakeFlowers.
Yes. I'd be a bit put out.

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Giraffey1 · 13/11/2017 11:32

Happy birthday, OP.
I get that it hurts about your colleagues but you know what, they're not the important ones ... I'd be way more miffed by your family. What is going on here, is it usual for them not to acknowledge your birthday?

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Redpony1 · 13/11/2017 11:34

Say what?!! Who takes in their own birthday cake?! Every place I’ve worked at the cake is bought for the birthday person!!

I've never worked anywhere where other people bring in cakes for the birthday person. It's always been whoever's birthday it is brings in the cakes! That's been the same for the last 4 companies at least.

Happy Birthday OP!! Flowers

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whiskyowl · 13/11/2017 11:34

Happy birthday!

I would mention something, casually and in passing - "Oh, it's my birthday so I'm going out tonight". Chances are you will spark a minor panic and a scurry to the shops!! It sounds as though they have forgotten but are not intentionally ignoring you.

One of my so-called friends totally forgot my 40th birthday and then sent me an email on the day asking me to do a load of work for her, unpaid! Cheeky fucker!

To be a bit hurt by this?
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SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 13/11/2017 11:34

TBH how would they know it's your birthday, unless HR send out and email reminder or something - which would be a massive breach of Data Protection.

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GreatStar · 13/11/2017 11:36

Go out at lunch and buy yourself a cake, birthday candles and a big birthday banner for round your desk. Add in party hats & party poppers and you can guarantee your birthday won't be forgotten Grin

Happy birthday by the way Cake

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whiskyowl · 13/11/2017 11:36

Presumably they've chosen to share those details sloe. Many offices have a calendar for this and someone whose job it is to arrange cards!

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Witchend · 13/11/2017 11:37

If you told me on Friday, then I'd not remember on Monday, and FB tells me at midday.

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SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 13/11/2017 11:38

whiskyowl presume? I'd rather hear from the OP how birthdays are generally organised rather than presumptions.

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