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Probably am but...

(47 Posts)
shitrainbows Mon 13-Nov-17 10:11:02

I don’t even care. (Fully prepared to be told that I am and interested to hear opinions- h nice posting in AIBU)

I’ve been so down lately and it’s not getting better so...I’m taking the week off work and having some time.I’m taking time to get my house in order and get on top of the chores, time to prepare fun stuff for the DC to do when they get home from school, time to prepare nice meals, time to look after and be kind to myself and sit watching Tv or reading with a cup of tea and blanket in my pyjamas.

I feel bad that I’m going to be letting my colleagues down but I really need this time to get myself better.

Now what the hell do I tell my boss? I’m due in tomorrow and the rest of the week.

cardibach Mon 13-Nov-17 10:13:11

if you are actually ill (mental health counts) then take the time off. If not, go in.

Council Mon 13-Nov-17 10:13:39

I think a very occasional day or two (like a couple of times a decade) if it brings you back stronger is not a bad thing. A whole week though?!

blackteasplease Mon 13-Nov-17 10:13:54

Um, this isn't reasonable OP.

If GP signs you off with stress then fine, you are ill . I know you can self certify for this period of time but wanting to "prepare fun stuff for dc to do" is not a reason to expect pair time off.

Council Mon 13-Nov-17 10:17:35

I don't know blacktea. If OP is suffering with stress/depression then that kind of action would be taking responsibility for improving her health. I agree you can't tell work that though. You'll have to say exhaustion/stress and it depends on the workplace whether you want to do that. It would be unusual to do it without a doctors note imo.

doodle01 Mon 13-Nov-17 10:18:51

This is a risky strategy.
You may be exhausted which is a medical issue in itself but -
Pressure will be off but then build up when you have to return to work.
Next time you have a really bad cold you will feel pressure to go in.
If you feel you cant cope that the issue.
Not going to work puts off any underlying problems.
How can you say you wont be in all week. How do you know unless your going to say its a MH issue which is always a bit risky depending on what you do.
id go in and become unwell at work go home and take Tuesday off.

shitrainbows Mon 13-Nov-17 10:19:24

I’ve felt quite stressed for a while and was thinking about going to the GP as I haven’t ‘been myself’ for a little while now but don’t want to make a big thing about it. Everything is on top of me at the moment. I’m emotional and am crying at the smallest things, not sleeping and struggling to get up in the mornings. I feel like I’ve ‘lost my way’ if that makes sense? I can’t seem to organise myself and all of the everyday things like getting the DC ready for school and making packed lunches feel like such an effort. I know this sounds pathetic. Perhaps I should just suck it up and go to work tomorrow. I suppose I’m This is just life and I should get on with it.

StickThatInYourPipe Mon 13-Nov-17 10:19:35

If it’s mental health, go to the gp and get signed off. Otherwise go in. You won’t be able to leave the house as worried about ‘being caught’ and it won’t help your mental health at all

WorraLiberty Mon 13-Nov-17 10:21:15

As others have said, you need to get yourself to the GP.

Anyway, what if you feel exactly the same after a week off?

shitrainbows Mon 13-Nov-17 10:22:16

@Council I don’t want to tell work it’s a mental health issue (I’m not even sure if it is).
I just feel overwhelmed with everything and just need some time if that makes sense?

shitrainbows Mon 13-Nov-17 10:23:49

@WorraLiberty I have been thinking about going to my GP but I don’t feel like I want to talk about it in real life. It probably all sounds so silly and pathetic.

Nikephorus Mon 13-Nov-17 10:24:09

You'd be unreasonable to take it off as sick but can't you ring your boss, explain that you're worn out & struggling & ask to take it off as holiday? That way you get the time off but it's legit. Yes it's unfair on your colleagues but less unfair than you taking it off as sick & still benefiting another time from having holiday.

shitrainbows Mon 13-Nov-17 10:24:43

@WorraLiberty I would also worry I won’t be ‘better’ after a week off work. I feel silly because my job itself isn’t stressful at all.

doobeydoo Mon 13-Nov-17 10:26:00

Sympathies OP, if you can get some advice or strategies from you GP about sleeping I imagine it will make everything else manageable. I'd say try to see a GP if the insomnia is very bad. Good luck.

Orchidflower1 Mon 13-Nov-17 10:26:49

It does sound like it's mh but if it is it's nothing to be ashamed of. Could be several other things ( low iron. Vitamins, hormones etc) tho so may be with seeing gp anyway.
Maybe get doc app for tom then you have something to tell work. If you don't feel like doc then maybe you could go to work but is there someone at work you could talk to and say you're not feeling yourself ? Hope you feel better soon.

Beamur Mon 13-Nov-17 10:31:46

A week off sounds like a lovely idea, but how are you planning on accounting for it?
Where I work I could take leave, sometimes unpaid leave, plus I am incredibly lucky to have a manager whom I could say that I was struggling a bit and needed some time off. But I'd need to book it off as something.

Beamur Mon 13-Nov-17 10:34:00

Why not worry about how you'll feel in a weeks time later? You might find a breather helps.

Boulshired Mon 13-Nov-17 10:34:12

It sounds like you need some time, but be prepared that even taking the week has no guarantees and it it doesn’t reach your expectations could lead you to feel worse. You have a lot of plans for such a short time.

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace Mon 13-Nov-17 10:34:28

I think you need to either book a week leave as soon as possible, or go to the GP as others have said.

I sympathise, but tbh you're right to feel bad about letting your colleagues down - you don't know they're sleeping well, or that everything in their lives is fine, do you?

Council Mon 13-Nov-17 10:39:20

Just a thought but if you could wait a bit you could apply for Parental Leave. You have to give 21 days' notice, but it could legitimately be used for the reasons you state. Sometimes once you know you've got leave booked things become easier.

It's unpaid but it's not really reasonable to expect your employer to pay you to do the things you have planned.

Council Mon 13-Nov-17 10:39:41

www.gov.uk/parental-leave

Sirzy Mon 13-Nov-17 10:43:24

I do agree with others that if your mental health is bad enough your needing to take time off work then you also need to be seeking further support. Otherwise what will you do when things build up again in a few months?

Pseudousername Mon 13-Nov-17 10:50:05

If you won't go to the doctors or talk to your employers re your mental health and get some proper help then just book some annual leave for as soon as it's available to you.

user1495451339 Mon 13-Nov-17 10:50:54

Would a longer term solution to be to change your work hours so you have a day off a week to catch up on life (if you can afford it)? Taking a week off could be more stressful when you return and if your kids end up being ill the week after you may need to take even more time off causing extra stress.

MrsGideon Mon 13-Nov-17 10:53:02

I'm sorry but can people stop saying that you can't take time off sick for mental health?? It's just as important to take care of yourself mentally as it is physically, and would you say that to people who can't work due to depression or anxiety?

OP, if you feel overwhelmed and down, of course you should be able to take time off without using your holiday. Some workplaces will ask for a doctor's note though so I'd chat to your GP about it. They're not going to judge you or tell you you're being pathetic... it actually sounds to me like you might have mild depression or maybe just feel burnt out from work. I've just taken 10 days off for this reason too and it did me the world of good.

I hope you feel better.

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