Talk

Is 'she' your DP or your flatmate friend?

I think leaving washing up longer than 24 hours in a flatshare is pushing it. I like to clear away straight after eating, but so long as it was done by the next night I could never get too worked up over it when I lived in shared houses. Not clearing away your rubbish/rotting food when you're going away for 10 days is just awful though. Has she always been like this?

Sorry, "she" is my/our flatmate. Yes pretty much always been like this! We have had many many discussion about cleanliness in the house and she gets better then worse then better - it is somewhat exhausting!

But I'm just trying to work out if Im being unreasonable here by having silly standards? As obviously something isn't working if she continues to do these things? Genuinely a bit baffled

Stefoscope - I am very on it in the kitchen and religiously clear up after myself, often before eating. Certainly within an hour tops. She leaves dirty dishes on the side to fester even though we have a dishwasher <bangs head against wall>

She sounds disgusting OP. I wouldn't clean up after her, close the door and let the food rot for 10 days.
Something nice for her to come back to

OP, stop doubting yourself, you must know that YANBU. Your standards aren’t silly, hers (in this respect) are appalling.

YANBU, she is disgusting

Id be moving out and getting a place with my dp if possible. She sounds too dirty to live with.

Well the stuff has been cleared up now unfortunately as I don’t want to attract pests! I’m going to have a chat with her when she’s back, anyone have any ideas as to how to spproach?

Honestly, if you've spoken to her about it before and she's still a slob it's unlikely she'll change. The worst example I've seen of this is my boyfriend's old house share where it looked like a bomb had exploded in the Young One's kitchen. It was one lad in particular who was making the mess, but no matter how many conversations or rotas thay had it was like he couldn't see it/didn't care.

I spent an afternoon blitzing it from top to bottom, the others commented to him how great it looked and how they'd all have to make more of an effort to keep on top of the cleaning. Nothing changed. Even when they handed the keys back to the house he made no attempt to clean, even though everyone else pitched in.

That's just gross. My mother in law moved in with us (gruesome) and left pork fat in a couple of baking dishes in the oven for weeks when she went away. (In close to 40' temps). I had had enough of cold cups of coffee and tea left in communal spaces, so they all ended up in her bedroom. I put a door sausage across the bottom of the door and went on with my life.
Now when she comes to visit - fortunately very rarely, she acts as though she's the queen mother and practically white-gloves the place while making PA comments about my housekeeping. Bitch.

I used to live in a house share a few years ago before living with DP, and this was my biggest issue!

Unfortunately it doesn't sound like she'll change. I definitely think that some people don't 'see' what everyone else would view as a complete tip. No matter how many times I'd ask a certain house mate to not leave cups/plates to start growing mould, they'd wash them up for maybe 2 days maximum, before going back to their old ways.

We have a dishwasher though! I dont get it, I feel like a nag on the very very occasions I do bring it up, kindly - but I’m not Will I lose the friendship if I have a word with her??

There were also mouldy teabags in the sink which she then tried to blame on other housemate argh

Haha have killed my own thread!

Ew sounds disgusting