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To be annoyed by FB likes?

(22 Posts)
YorkshirePud35 Sun 12-Nov-17 22:28:38

The dreaded FB again.

My H works away sometimes and a few months back he had a ONS whilst working away. Trying to put this behind us and trying to trust him again.

A couple of weeks back I had a bad, insecure day and snooped through his phone to find a few messages from a very pretty woman he works with. They were just friendly messages which mentioned how she was on his next work trip away for 4 days.

I had a look at her FB page and noticed how he 'liked' everyone of her selfies, but coincidentally didn't like any of her with her DH. H is now on a trip with her and a few others and just seen a pic of them all together with their arms around each other and he is stood next to her, of all the ones to stand next to.

I feel really annoyed at the minute.

WhatwouldAryado Sun 12-Nov-17 22:31:23

He doesn't sound very committed to your marriage. What a sleaze.

Ilovelampandchair Sun 12-Nov-17 22:31:34

I'm sorry to tell you that A man that has a ONS when away with work is unlikely to have done it just the once. You clearly don't trust him. Probably with good reason. I would personally keep snooping till I conformed my fears or had enough information to trust him.

NancyDonahue Sun 12-Nov-17 22:57:50

Did he confess about the ONS or did you find out?

LadyDeLaFuente Mon 13-Nov-17 00:23:48

I wouldn't like that one bit. People can argue til the cows come home that, in this case, he hasn't done anything wrong - just liked a few photos - but I personally think it's a lack of respect unless she's a good friend or he is just generally trigger happy with the like button (towards men and women).
Probably nothing has happened but I wouldn't be surprised if he fancied her and he should be making you feel secure after his ONS, not liking women's pics for all to see!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Mon 13-Nov-17 00:28:33

FB likes aren't the problem here; your husband is.

snotandbothered Mon 13-Nov-17 00:40:42

Sorry OP. At the very least fancies her, which can't be helped, but he is happy for her to know he fancies her, which equates to testing the water.

ahhhsalmonskinroll Mon 13-Nov-17 02:36:56

Bloody hell. Get rid of him op. You can’t spend your life like this. He sounds like a pig. Messaging women on fb after a ONS? Absolute sleaze.
He doesn’t have to cheat on you again for you to end it you know. You can just be done, because you’re done.

GreyTree Mon 13-Nov-17 05:38:26

Sorry OP bit I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. I think your relationship with him is coming to an end. Have some respect for yourself and get rid.

YorkshirePud35 Mon 13-Nov-17 06:28:30

I didn't think it was just me being paranoid then, he seems to fancy her.

He doesn't like things very often on FB, doesn't even click like on any of my selfies that I put on.

Her page isn't private so I can see every pic he has liked and they're all of her on her own.

YorkshirePud35 Mon 13-Nov-17 06:30:59

Nancy yes he did confess because he thought he'd caught something.

Apparently I should be honoured he confessed 😡

InfiniteSheldon Mon 13-Nov-17 06:35:19

Put a comment under a pic he's liked saying oh you've only liked species how strange should I be worrued as you are away together for four days?. Game players like things to be secret don't accept secrets not even flirting and you stand a chance of changing the way he views you.

InfiniteSheldon Mon 13-Nov-17 06:43:21

Selfies not species!!

Ohffsmalcom Mon 13-Nov-17 06:45:24

Oh OP this is so unhealthy for you.

You can’t do easily just ‘put it behind you’ without significant reflections and discussions about your relationship.

He should be doing all he can to reassure you and work towards rebuilding trust.

He isn’t doing that and he isnt even trying. Messaging a female from work and then blatantly being included in photos where he is with her and having a great time let alone liking her FB photos all points to a man who thinks he has got away with it and will do it again.

Please look at this with open eyes. This man isn’t full of remorse and trying his level best to ensure you can trust him.

Honestly it sounds awful for you and is this the life you really want?
Good, honest relationships don’t work like this. They dont.

IHaveAnOutie Mon 13-Nov-17 12:35:24

Sorry, but it sounds like he only confessed because he had to (re: STD tests). He doesn’t sound very trustworthy. I imagine there are more ONS that he’s not told you about, but he had the decency (!) to wear condoms the other times.

Caulk Mon 13-Nov-17 12:37:12

Talk to him.

Calvinlookingforhobbs Mon 13-Nov-17 12:45:54

OP, is this a relationship you’d want for your daughter/niece or friend? Does he build you up, respect and support you? Life is too short and you won’t get any time back. Think long and hard about where you see your future x

mumofthemonsters808 Mon 13-Nov-17 12:48:43

Does she like a lot of his pictures ?, only fbook liking tends to work on a I like your stuff you like mine back basis.

toolonglurking Mon 13-Nov-17 15:46:48

Get out now, he sounds like a player and like he only confessed to that ONS because he had to. I'd put money on there being more ONS that he hasn't admitted to.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin Mon 13-Nov-17 15:50:51

Put a comment under a pic he's liked saying oh you've only liked species how strange should I be worrued as you are away together for four days?. Game players like things to be secret don't accept secrets not even flirting and you stand a chance of changing the way he views you

Why would you even suggest stirring up trouble in his collegues marraige? What ridiculous world do you orbit?

snash12 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:56:16

You H sounds very untrustworthy.

RemainOptimistic Mon 13-Nov-17 17:02:00

I love that the shagging is totally fine but liking selfies isn't hmm

What are you getting out of this living arrangement?

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