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Who is bu?

(23 Posts)
Teamkhaleesi Sun 12-Nov-17 20:46:22

A gave B an item of baby clothing second hand. Person B did not use it as it was too small for baby. 12 months or so later B gives item away to C. Shortly after this A asks for item back to give away to someone else. A is annoyed that B has given it away as it was never used so should have been offered back. B wasn’t asked for it back at the time so assumed it was hers to give away.

Who is bu?

Insomnibrat Sun 12-Nov-17 20:47:40

A is BU, IMO.

Guavaf1sh Sun 12-Nov-17 20:47:42

A. Once an item is given it cannot be demanded back

dementedpixie Sun 12-Nov-17 20:47:59

Did A say they wanted it back at the time of giving?

Allthewaves Sun 12-Nov-17 20:48:00

Person A - unless she expressed it was only a loan and wanted item back

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 12-Nov-17 20:48:34


ShirleyPhallus Sun 12-Nov-17 20:50:34


Unless it was a ruby encrusted pram or something really sentimental

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Sun 12-Nov-17 20:51:00

Personally I wouldn't often give anything to people if I wanted it back - lending is fine but if you give something to someone then I think it's theirs to do what they want.

If A didn't say something along the lines of 'Try this and let me know when you're done with it' then it's not Bs fault that they've passed it on.

pickleface Sun 12-Nov-17 20:51:04

I'd say if the item was given as a gift then B was well within her rights to gift it forward. It would be polite to check with A though in case a scenario like this arose.

Ttbb Sun 12-Nov-17 20:53:58


Insomnibrat Sun 12-Nov-17 20:55:00

Are you B, OP?

loveablether Sun 12-Nov-17 21:00:33

A - should have made it clear wanted back at time of giving

user1493413286 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:05:30

A although I think I probably would have asked B if she minded whether it had been used or not unless several years had gone by. I wouldn’t be expecting to give something back though, what was the item?

user1493413286 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:06:00

I mean B ask A if she minded

DullAndOld Sun 12-Nov-17 21:08:09

If someone asked me to return some second hand baby goods that they had previously given me, I would be gobsmacked tbh.

Teamkhaleesi Sun 12-Nov-17 21:11:37

Yes I’m B

It was just an item of clothing (like a cosy outdoorsy suit - not sure what you’d call it?) Am kicking myself for not asking if she minded me giving it to someone else! I gave it away C along with loads of other clothes and I would never think of asking for any of it back so it didn’t occur to me that A would. Oh well fingers crossed it’s not too big a problem - thanks for the replies

rollingonariver Sun 12-Nov-17 21:11:42

A is BU my baby pooped/ vomited on most of her baby clothes so I chucked a lot out instead of washing them.

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 12-Nov-17 21:14:55

I would assume that a piece of clothing was a give not a loan, it’s not like you sold it. I have leant out some larger items that I really hope people won’t pass on as I do need those back but if I passed on any clothing I wouldn’t dream of asking for it back.

peachgreen Sun 12-Nov-17 22:38:05

Hmm all baby clothes I’ve been given I’ve assumed will go back to the giver when I’m finished with them - or at least be offered first refusal. I’ve marked the labels so I know whose is whose. Isn’t that normal practice? (Genuine question - I’m new at this!)

Either way, I can understand her being a bit miffed that she gave you something, you never used it, and then you passed it on to someone unrelated. Why didn’t you just give it back when you realised it was too small?

Bubblebubblepop Sun 12-Nov-17 22:39:20

B should've given it back to A, I always would

FlashTheSloth Sun 12-Nov-17 22:41:29

A is BU. Unless she stated it was loaned, she has no say on what happens to it after.

Teamkhaleesi Mon 13-Nov-17 07:38:30

Peachgreen - I didn’t give it back at the time because they didn’t ask for it back. I told A that it was too small and she just said that’s a shame. If I’d known they’d wanted it back I would have given it straight back as my baby had so many clothes any wardrobe space would have been welcome!

A (my step mum) gave me the item - she did not lend it. I’m glad to see most people have said she is bu but I will offer to replace it if it’s a massive issue. She has just recently offered to pass on clothes for my new baby but I think I’ll say no thank you this time to avoid confusion

Ohyesiam Mon 13-Nov-17 10:57:41

A is bu . and should be shown this thread

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