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To worry about coping with illness and two kids...

(23 Posts)
OhWhatAPalaver Sun 12-Nov-17 20:21:34

I have a rotten bug at the moment, which is currently working it's way through our family. I am notoriously shit at dealing with illness when it's me that is ill. Sometimes I get so ill I can't even stand up. This is exasperated by a 16 month old who is a terrible sleeper and still showing no signs of stopping breastfeeding any time soon. I only really have one family member that I can ask for help in the week (MIL) and she is not available tomorrow. My DM works full time and I don't have any close friends nearby. I really worry about not being able to look after my kids properly because I'm ill. AIBU to think that most people need a bit of help when they're ill? I am being told to 'just get on with it' but how can I do that if I'm too ill to even stand up? I know there must be people who have no help nearby but what are you supposed to do? How do you sort your kids out if you're hugging the toilet bowl all day?

yumchoc Sun 12-Nov-17 20:53:58

I feel for you 🌸
in reality it’s a case of get on with it a lot of the time you could ask Him not to go to work
I have been so ill with my blood disorder and having to care for a DC is hard 16 months old so I can relate

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:02:39

Why can't your dh help?

Bombardier25966 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:05:42

If you're so ill that you can't stand up you should be seeking medical assistance (if it's something contagious do so by phone until told otherwise). Can you literally not stand?

Most people do just get on with it. There are thousands of lone parents that have no option.

Bbbbbbbb2017 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:07:13

I have a 2 year old and 1 year old and am a single parent. Sometimes you just have to get on with it sad

SheepyFun Sun 12-Nov-17 21:25:23

DH has taken time off work (annual leave) when I've been too unwell to care for DD. I've done the same for him (rather more often; his health isn't great). Where does your DH fit into this?

saoirse31 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:29:54

Well you've a 'rotten bug', how bad is it? A day of TV won't kill them...

Candlelight234 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:30:34

I guess if someone is seriously ill then they will need help to care for kids, but if it's just a run of the mill bug (albeit you feel crappy) , it's really just a case of dose up on pills, have an easy day inside and get on with it.

Candlelight234 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:32:57

Sorry posted too soon, CBeebies & dvds all day for the 16mth old, whilst you stay on the sofa.

seven201 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:33:46

I had a planned operation but then unplanned complications after so I was in hospital for 10 days then unable to help at home for a few more weeks. My dh took some time off and we had to get various family members (none of which live close by, so had to stay over) to come and help. We were very lucky in that my sister-in-law was between jobs but if we’d been really stuck we’d have had to ask someone to take annual leave to come and help. I’ve been ill with a bug before and just been a shit mum for the day and obviously felt extra shit myself as it doesn’t help recovery! You either cope or you find/beg for help if really needed. Or I think there are agencies that do emergency childcare.

Haudyerwheesht Sun 12-Nov-17 21:35:03

Ok can you literally not stand or is it that you get panicky ?

It's shit but sometimes you do just have to deal with it. The only time I haven't been able to cope was when I had severe asthma and that was more because I was concerned I'd need to go into hospital.

Lower your standards as much as you can. TV, easy food, leave housework as much as is possible, get dh to have everything you're likely to need altogether in one room.

If your dh can help then he should but it isn't always possible and all you can do is just get your head down and power through.

Crumbs1 Sun 12-Nov-17 21:38:59

Big girls pants on and get on with it. Most people have to keep going with more than a bug.

Lucked Sun 12-Nov-17 21:41:11

Assuming your not a single parent due to MIL comment. Dh has to get kids breakfast and (depending on age) dress them before leaving go work.. He could whip up some sandwiches for lunch now and pop them in the fridge. Then telly on and you make a nest in the sofa. House will be a bomb site by the end of the day but do be it.

NoSquirrels Sun 12-Nov-17 21:48:59


Serious, can't function out of bed illness - DP/other parent takes time off.

Feel shit but can still prepare food/supervise from sofa - low standards, easy food, plenty of TV.

Yukbuck Sun 12-Nov-17 21:52:35

If you have a partner, ask them to make breakfast and lunch for the kids. Get everything plated up. Then you have minimal tasks. Have a tv day. Or make a room with a sofa as child proof as possible and lay down while the kids play. It's tough but sometimes it's a must.

Yukbuck Sun 12-Nov-17 21:54:24

Obviously I meant for them to make lunch for you too.. but if you're anything like me when I'm ill... I never know what I am going to fancy if anything. Make sure there is bread in the house so you can at least eat something

ArthurShelbysTash Sun 12-Nov-17 22:20:43

You cope because you have to. I have a chronic illness, no family within 200 miles and a DP who isn't always contactable when he is at work. Stick the telly on and hope it passes soon.

dantdmistedious Sun 12-Nov-17 22:22:02

You just have to get on with it. - what else can you do? Being so ill you can’t stand up sounds somewhat catastrophic.

cluelessnewmum Sun 12-Nov-17 22:28:16

Would something like an emergency nanny be feasible cost wise, Google it, I'm not sure I'm allowed to post links (I investigated a while back as I had a chronic condition that flared up unexpectedly).

TheSnorkMaidenReturns Sun 12-Nov-17 22:34:53

CBeebies. Shut the door with you and kids inside. With drinks in bottles and just put it on all day.

When you feel a bit brighter serve oven chips and beans as a meal.

OhWhatAPalaver Mon 13-Nov-17 08:37:00

Thanks for the replies. I'm not as bad today I don't think. I can stand but feel like I'm about to faint when I do. Last year I had a sickness bug I collapsed on the floor and my partner had to drag me in to the bathroom! I'm not that bad this time but it's still pretty unpleasant. I think I just resent not having a proper support network of family and friends. I never feel more lonely than when I'm ill sad
Dp is at work all day and can't take time off and is a tutor so not contactable. He can take dd1 to school though so that's something. I just have to worry about collecting her.

NoSquirrels Mon 13-Nov-17 22:59:51

Hope your day went OK, OP, and that you're feeling better.

OhWhatAPalaver Wed 15-Nov-17 14:33:12

Thanks NoSquirrels, I'm on the mend. It is doubly hard lately because our 16 month old has been ill three time over the last two months. I'm hoping we're coming out the other side now though. Fingers crossed!

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