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Neighbour swearing at my children

(132 Posts)
smilingsweet Sun 12-Nov-17 18:52:23

Little bit of a back story to this. I moved in just over a year ago and didn't seem to have any problems at all with neighbour next door. Three months ago I had a knock at the door from the police, they searched my home and stated that the said neighbour had made continuous phone calls reporting that my home was some sort of cannabis factory!

No cannabis here I'm afraid. The police officers said that she clearly isn't mentally well and said they would refer her to the mental health unit - I've said nothing and not seen the neighbour up until 3 days ago.

I have two sons, 7 and 8 who play football in our garden, she has kept their balls by her back door which I thought was strange, why not throw them back over?

The children were in the garden and myself in the kitchen. They asked for their balls politely to which she replied "no"! I heard that came out and said erm, hello? Can you please give their footballs back, then she replied no, and if they keep coming here I will be throwing them in the electric box (an area behind both our gardens with large high voltage warning signs) she claims the ball hit her back door and made her jump when she was in her kitchen and fears one of the balls will damage her water feature. I've got very ranty saying they are children and the reason she is keeping them is because the police left here empty handed. She told me I must have gotten 'whiff' of them coming so I removed all the drugs!! blush anyhow later that evening she threw them back over.

Upon speaking to the person that lived here before she had done the EXACT same thing and she made his life hell as far as I'm aware, continuous calls to the police about a cannabis factory!! Coincident?

I have called the housing on the first instance when the police came around and never heard back from them. I have called again to explain about the children's balls but I fear it will fall on deaf ears again.

Anyhow, yesterday my eldest son was bouncing on the trampoline and came running in to tell me she was sticking her middle finger up at him through her window!!! At which point I just don't know what to do so I told of him to come inside and we went off to our party.

Today one of the balls went back over her garden, whilst the children were in the garden she came straight out shouted at my two sons "piss off you mother fuckers" and yes, threw the ball into the electric box area so it cannot be retrieved! They've ran inside to tell me as I'm making my way through downstairs to go into the garden I hear her screeching at the top of her lungs "evil fucking mother" literally screamed! By the time I've opened the garden door she has gone inside and slammed hers.

What do I do?!!!!

endofthelinefinally Sun 12-Nov-17 18:55:51

Stop your children throwing their ball into her garden. It is obviously winding her up.
Other than that there isnt much you can do except report to the police when appropriate and keep a diary.

RunningOutOfCharge Sun 12-Nov-17 18:59:16

The police said she was mentally unwell??

RainbowWish Sun 12-Nov-17 19:02:55

I understand it is your garden but I would maybe stop the boys playing football for a while as she may be a danger to them. And give them a fright.
Phone the non emergency police line and explain the situation.
Write a formal letter posted to your housing.
And keep a diary of all events that happen. If nothing changes visit you local counciler for advice as you feel your children are in danger. Furthermore she may be a danger to herself.
In fairness to the woman a ball constantly in your garden would be annoying but she does seem mentally unwell and would have found something to shout about anyways.

Mittens1969 Sun 12-Nov-17 19:03:39

Your DC need to stop throwing their football into her garden. Don’t give her grounds for complaint.

RunningOutOfCharge Sun 12-Nov-17 19:04:02

Sorry,how are the children in danger?

NovemberWitch Sun 12-Nov-17 19:05:16

Can you put up something to stop the balls, like poles and netting, or a fence? It’s obviously pissing her off and triggering the nastiness. But swearing? It’s not illegal, and she hasn’t kept the balls either, so no theft.

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister Sun 12-Nov-17 19:06:29

It's really annoying if balls keep coming over your fence. My parents have had greenhouse glass smashed many times by balls. Even though it is paid and replaced by said neighbours, it's still a pain. I have 2 children and if something goes over I tell them they may well not get it back. If it's happening as often as it sounds I would ask them not to play football out the back and perhaps take them to a park? As for the rude neighbour, keep a diary and record EVERYTHING! Then you can report her (housing or police depending on your situation).

IJoinedJustToPostThis Sun 12-Nov-17 19:07:04

the police officers said she clearly isn't mentally well

Call the police if there is reason to believe she may harm herself or others. (NB being rude to one's neighbours doesn't count)

Tell your boys the lady next door isn't well, and unusually, the kindest thing they can do is to stay away/leave her alone.

Tbf, mental health issues aside, if my neighbors were repeatedly kicking balls into my garden, making me jump when they banged on the window, damaging stuff in my garden, and staring in my windows while on their trampoline, I'd be annoyed too.

valuerangeweetabixandmilk Sun 12-Nov-17 19:07:06

They are 'only children playing' to you. To her it is an annoyance with constant interruptions. This is orritating to anyone other than the parents and I say that as someone with a fair few of my own.
Leave her alone
Make your kids play non ball games
Ignore and disengage from any further interaction

valuerangeweetabixandmilk Sun 12-Nov-17 19:07:28


Tobythecat Sun 12-Nov-17 19:08:47

Sounds like the kids know exactly what they are doing and winding her up by deliberately chucking the ball over.

ElizaBenson Sun 12-Nov-17 19:09:23

Put a high net up to stop the balls going over, we get several footballs a week over into our garden in summer, for the last 5 years, they damage our plants and the lad who kicks them over never says please or thank you to get them back he just moans if we dont throw them back over quick enough. If i try to speak to his parents about it they refuse to answer the door to me (ive never managed to speak to them). I know kids play with footballs but she as a very good point if they are hitting her back door and shes worried about the damage they'll cause.
However, i assume its a substation you live by, if you call the number on the gate and explain the situation and where you live next time one of the engineers is out they will probably throw the balls over to you
Yes she may have caused you problems first but her life is probably not made any easier by footballs coming over and kids staring at her windows while they jump on trampolines either, if you put a net up you will stop the balls going over and give both sides some much needed privacy which may help ease the tensions

ZoeWashburne Sun 12-Nov-17 19:10:05

I would find be incredibly frustrated by continued footballs coming over my garden fence. I’m all for being neighbourly and that accidents happen, but if your children can’t keep their balls under control habitually, make football a game that can only be played in the park.

Otherwise, she is unwell. Stop antagonising her with the constant footballs. Record the events, dates and any witnesses. Go to the council with the log if it escalates.

PhilODox Sun 12-Nov-17 19:11:08

I doubt she has to return the balls tbh; why would you let your children do that?
Re cannabis reporting, the Police obviously know she's wrong in that country, so won't pay any further notification seriously.

Rachie1973 Sun 12-Nov-17 19:12:01

I admit to not letting my kids play football in my garden because of the potential to piss off the neighbours.

I always take them to the park.

She sounds a nutjob, however you also have to take some responsibility and not allow your balls in her garden regularly,

BenLui Sun 12-Nov-17 19:12:34

I agree, if they can’t keep the balls in the garden then they need to play football elsewhere or not at all.

You could get them one of those football on a string things.

OliviaTheFox Sun 12-Nov-17 19:12:48

If our footballs went one side as children they’d never be see. Again as the had brambles higher than our 6ft fence. If the went the other side he’d popped them.

We learnt to keep our balls to ourselves. 😉

However I think you need to keep a dairy of what she does and report to non emergency number.

NovemberWitch Sun 12-Nov-17 19:12:57

This isn’t going to be what the OP wanted to hear, is it?

EdmundCleverClogs Sun 12-Nov-17 19:14:19

she claims the ball hit her back door and made her jump when she was in her kitchen and fears one of the balls will damage her water feature. I've got very ranty saying they are children and the reason she is keeping them is because the police left here empty handed

'She claims'? You don't believe her? The fact that this is evidently not the first (or second or third) time this has happened, I'm not surprised she's annoyed and refusing to hand them back over, if your boys can't keep their toys in your own garden then they are risking losing them. I can't believe you actually ranted at her, it's your children's fault and they are antagonising a potentially unwell woman. Shame on all of you - yes even if she has caused you unnecessary stress with the police visit.

Ecadia Sun 12-Nov-17 19:15:41

Wasn't there a post exactly the same as this a few months back. Without mental health and cannabis factory. hmm

Amanduh Sun 12-Nov-17 19:18:22

Everything else aside, my ndn's kids kick balls in to my garden (and against my fence angry) all day long at the weekend and every week day! It's infuriating... i understand kids will be kids and I would never be angry at kids accidentally kicking it over now and then or a couple of times a month but get your kids to stop doing it... it's unfair!

The cannabis thing - well the police are aware you arent doing it and she had MH problems so that wont be a problem anymore, if she ever rang again they'd know how to deal with it, and ignore.

WorraLiberty Sun 12-Nov-17 19:18:36

Put some poles and netting up to stop the balls going over.

PiffleandWiffle Sun 12-Nov-17 19:19:33

Personally I'd get the kids to play football indoors for a while - clear your neighbouring wall & let them bounce their ball off that for a week or so.

Keep a diary & make a point of contacting 101, eventually they'll have to send someone round....

LavenderDoll Sun 12-Nov-17 19:19:40

Stop the balls going over into her garden

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