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Childcare - taking the piss or not?!

(44 Posts)
user1485166754 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:05:26

Couple I know through friends went to Ibiza on a boozy holiday this summer (they are aged between 40-55). They have a DS who the grandparents look after frequently (i.e.
Most weekends). Parents both work so in the school holidays the grandparents take holidays from their jobs to take turns looking after DS. Grandparents wanted a holiday on one of the weeks that they were scheduled to look after child so they took him abroad as they would have had him stay over each night at their house anyway. So my AIBU is - if you were the parents of the boy - would you feel massively cheeky to use a week of your annual leave to then book an adults only holiday to Ibiza with friends for that week when you could have gone with the grandparents and had a family holiday with you DS?!

Bubblysqueak Sun 12-Nov-17 18:09:09

Yes! They should be using their al to look after their own child not expect others to use their holiday to look after him. CF

ZoeWashburne Sun 12-Nov-17 18:10:34

Unless you are the grandparents or the couple, it’s none of your business.

You have no idea of what goes on in their relationship and it has no affect on you.

Mittens1969 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:14:28

Of course it’s none of the OP’s business, obviously, but I think we’re talking about this in principle, as we don’t know the couple concerned.

My answer would be, your child your responsibility.

But then, the GPs are surely able to establish their own boundaries and just say no. confused

ShirleyPhallus Sun 12-Nov-17 18:14:31

None of your business

My parents ADORE having their grandchildren and would jump at the chance to have them for holiday

user1485166754 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:18:20

Totally understand that the GPS would jump at chance to take child on holiday - but what I am asking is - would you also book a holiday for hay same week with friends instead of going with your DS?

user1485166754 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:20:26

On second thoughts - maybe this thread is more of a WWYD.

ninnynono Sun 12-Nov-17 18:33:06

My pil would positively encourage us to go on holiday somewhere whilst they took our dc on holiday somewhere else. Don't really see what the problem is really. I would prefer to spend all of my annual leave with my children but that's not the case for everyone.

ZoeWashburne Sun 12-Nov-17 18:34:59

There is no way to know if this was unreasonable. Maybe the GPs gave this holiday as a gift as a ‘chance to get away’ to the couple. Maybe the GPs wanted quality time with the grandchild.

The fundamental question is: why does this bother you so much?

peoplepleaser70 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:39:38

My parents take my 2 DC on holiday and tell me I am not invited! It changes the dynamic of everything. So yes I might use that week to go away myself.

2tired2bewitty Sun 12-Nov-17 18:40:14

I’m impressed that anyone aged 45-50 has parents who are still working!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Sun 12-Nov-17 18:43:17

Sounds like the parents are dumping the poor child on his grandparents a hell of a lot - most weekends, gps taking AL to look after him - I'd say they were cheeky fuckers full stop!

NeedsAsockamnesty Sun 12-Nov-17 18:46:43

So the child should be denied a holiday with loving involved grandparents who take huge responsibility for the child’s care and wellbeing in order to satisfy your idea of what’s acceptable?

Glumglowworm Sun 12-Nov-17 18:49:52

They presumably chose a boozy holiday rather than a family holiday. So they shouldn't be cross that their generous parents took their child on a family holiday.

user1485166754 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:50:27

2tired it's the 40 yr olds parents

Steeley113 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:51:12

Why do people automatically assume people are CF if they allow their parents to babysit? My parents love having my kids and jump at the chance! They often ask me to go round then tell me to bugger off and let the kids stay the night! I know they desperately want to take them on holiday and we won’t be invited so yes, I’d probably book us somewhere too when I finally agree to it!

YellowMakesMeSmile Sun 12-Nov-17 18:52:43

Yes but they are letting them get away with it so more fool them.

So many seem to think chidren are a hinderance to their social life and that grandparents should be at their beck and call.

Leaving your child to go on holiday whilst expecting your parents to share their break and give up precious annual leave is beyond selfish.

user1485166754 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:52:57

GPs didn't give as gift - think they were surprised that the patents then booked their own holiday.

user1485166754 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:54:09

Steely but surely if you worked mon-fri you wouldn't then put your DC to their grandparents from fri nights and pick up on sun nights?

Lethaldrizzle Sun 12-Nov-17 18:56:36

I thunk it's a bit cheeky. Surely the kids would prefer their parents to be with them on holiday

Steeley113 Sun 12-Nov-17 19:00:48

Is it anything to do with you? My brother doesn’t use my parents for childcare as much as me and the actually moan about it to me that they don’t see her enough. Different families have different relationships.

StefMay Sun 12-Nov-17 19:03:57

We're all different.

I miss my DC so much and am a little anxious about being away from them. I have only been away from DD1 for 2 nights and DD2 one night! (in nearly 6 yrs!)

However, if I was less anxious then I would love this and to have fab GPs who love them so much must be amazing!

BatShite Sun 12-Nov-17 19:09:41

Don't see the issue with the parents having adults only time.

I cannot judge other peopels situations on stuff like this without knowing the entire story tbh, and given this is second hand information..I doubt you know the real setup.

I would not feel cheeky if my parents wanted to look after my kids, and I booked an adults only holiday, no. I may be biased on this though as every year me and DH have an adults only holiday where PIL watch the kids. We also have a family holiday.

user1485166754 Sun 12-Nov-17 19:10:08

Not saying it is any of my business or hay it really bothers me - just genuinely interested in others opinions

Mamabear4180 Sun 12-Nov-17 19:11:57

It's sad they don't want to spend their AL with their son. They sound pretty detached tbh.

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