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To be angry at DH

(13 Posts)
DMofDD Sun 12-Nov-17 01:32:41

Our teenage DD has been to a party tonight and had to be in at 12.30.
It is generally always me who picks up late at night or waits up. I tend to set an alarm on my phone in case I snooze off whilst waiting up.
Tonight I asked DH to wait up, I asked him to set an alarm in case he fell asleep, he refused saying he would be fine. Anyway I knew all too well that as he has polished off a bottle of red and a few beers this was unlikely so I’ve waited up.
Anyway sure enough he’s down stairs now snoring his head off (he can stay there).
DD came home on time.

I just feel so pissed off with him. If I’d just gone to bed and left him to it and something had happened to DD we wouldn’t have a clue, I feel he is completely irresponsible.
Wondering how I am going to let him know tomorrow how annoyed I am, Aibu to be so pissed of?

IamtheDevilsAvocado Sun 12-Nov-17 01:35:27

No! He's making you do all the emotional work and he's getting pissed

buckeejit Sun 12-Nov-17 01:41:43

Yanbu-all he had to do was set an alarm on His phone & wake you in the unlikely e met it was necessary

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 12-Nov-17 01:44:15

How old is she?

Lostinspaceoutatsea Sun 12-Nov-17 01:44:20


steff13 Sun 12-Nov-17 01:44:39

How old is she?

Dancinggoat Sun 12-Nov-17 01:44:56

He either knows you’ll do it regardless or doesn’t think there’s a reason to wait up for her.
My H says if they ring the phone will wake us as its by us. I just can’t sleep till they’re in.
It’s the drinking that much at home when D out that’s a bigger concern for me.

DMofDD Sun 12-Nov-17 01:47:36

She is 16, turning 17

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 12-Nov-17 01:54:23

Hmm. I'm not sure you should make your dh wait up for her. If you can't sleep until she's in then that's up to you. Not sure it's your right to be angry with him.

ReanimatedSGB Sun 12-Nov-17 01:59:34

If she's 16 and has access to either adequate transport or money for a cab then possibly YABU - unless she has form for getting herself stranded or into trouble.
If your H knows that a) DD is sensible and trustworthy about coming home and b) you will be up half the night whining and biting your nails anyway then I don't think it's unreasonable of him to go to sleep. Also, bear in mind that not all parents of teenagers drive or own cars anyway, and this doesn't necessarily mean that their DC either all die because they can't get a lift home, or are never allowed out.

Darcychu Sun 12-Nov-17 02:01:34

i agree with thickandthin, im 24 now but since 15 my mum wouldnt wait for me i understand you want to know shes safe but waiting up everytime she goes out is a bit... too much maybe invest in a safety kit for her instead . Maybe he also sees it as not as big of a problem as you see it.

licencePlateIsFresh Sun 12-Nov-17 02:08:53

Why does he need to be awake until she gets home?

This is an unreasonable requirement and as it's your imposition, you need to follow through and not pass it on.

As alluded to by someone else, I keep my phone on loud if the 'children' are out and I'm going to bed.

I have no idea why drinking that much is an issue. I can drink a bottle of wine. DH a wine and a couple of beers after. Of course we couldn't drive but could deal with emergencies very easily. It's a pretty rare occurrence though.

confusedlittleone Sun 12-Nov-17 11:15:24

If you trust her enough to go to parties then I don't think it's necessary to wait up, just put your phone on loud

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