Perhaps I'm being a cunt. I'm fully prepared to be told I am.
Dh makes a good income that we can live off fairly well, but I also top it up WFH in a flexible part time position and freelancing on top of that. I make anywhere from $1050 to $3400 per week, but we could cope on just the $820 I'm paid for the secure part time position (which is only 8.5hrs a week). We're doing ok.
BIL has got the idea we're struggling, I don't know why. But he seems to think I'm unemployed too? I've tried to address it with him. It seems to boil down to, you're not in an office 9-5 so you must be making $4 a day. I'm not about to spreadsheet my earnings for him, but I have told him roughly what I make. He won't listen, that's fine. However he insists upon telling the wider family (mil who dh is almost nc with - huge backstory, and other family members) that I'm unemployed/do nothing/earn very little/we're struggling. Our little family (me ds and dh) is doing just fine. Really, we are. But what makes it all the more galling is that they're about to be up shit creek.
Backstory; BIL has a pregnant girlfriend. They live together in her grandmas house. She's due next month, will be taking the legal maximum mat leave of 3 months (not in the uk) then cashing in her annual leave and not going back. They're not eligible to claim state welfare, because he's not a citizen of this country and neither is she though they're both entitled to the right to remain.
So their only income is about to disappear, he's refusing jobs left right and centre because he doesn't want to work a shit job, a stressful job, doesn't want to do nights, doesn't want to deliver for takeaways. Etc. you get the picture. Nothing is good enough. Fine, their prerogative and he'll soon become less fussy when he needs to put food on the table for his child. But for now I leave him to it.
I'm just not happy with his assumptions about our family finances (which are doing fine) the way he speaks to us about our finances. For example we recently got given a notice to vacate which expires in 2 months (works perfectly fine we're moving anyway but landlord wants his daughter to move in) and BIL has got himself in a huge tizzy about us being blacklisted from renting (can happen here) for having a dog (we have permission to have the dog - can't be blacklisted ) and other such shit. Basically, he's always got to be saving the day so invents problems and spreads them around the family. So as it stands, here are some untrue statements.
I don't work and DH is struggling to keep us afloat (not true)
We're being evicted for having a dog (not true)
We're going to be blacklisted for having a dog/damaging the property (we broke a plant pot that came with the house, $20 replacement and the letting agents/landlord wasn't bothered as we replaced quickly!)
We're living on instant noodles (okay I do have a thing for instant noodles with cheese on and he's seen me eating them, but I promise I can cook a nutritious meal too and have other foods!) funny coming from somebody who does live on free takeaway food though...
Fully prepared to be told I'm a judgemental twat, I do think I'm being unfair in some respects perhaps but Aibu to think that, if you're in the situation he's in, you should be getting into a panic induced frenzy about your own fucked up situation before applying it to your brothers family who are doing just fine?
Getting sick of hearing 2nd hand info about how poor/stupid/naive/how much trouble we're in. Dh's elderly nana has been in contact offering him money (she's in the UK on a very small pension living in a freezing mobile home) to the tune of £1700, all of her savings, because she thinks we're struggling! We aren't, but as he's been telling everybody we are, dh's family think he's just being proud or something. Gah.
So give it to me straight please, Aibu?
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AIBU?
To think actually, you're up shit creek and you shouldn't be judging me?
42 replies
Cactusjelly00 · 11/11/2017 22:26
OP posts:
TrojansAreSmegheads ·
11/11/2017 23:06
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