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How close are you to your siblings and parents?

(42 Posts)
Acrosstheuniverse123 Sat 11-Nov-17 21:01:14

I wonder. I have a difficult relationship with my family which causes me a lot of grief. I long for loving, close relationships but instead have a distant and strained relationship with my siblings and my mother. Father is dead. I wish I had the sort of relationship where I could pick up the phone when I have a problem and chat. It really upsets me.

Katedotness1963 Sat 11-Nov-17 21:06:10

My parents are dead. I'm not close to my brothers at all. I moved back to my hometown for two years, despite the fact I lived opposite one brothers mil I spoke to him once in that time. Saw the other one maybe 10/12 times over the same amount of time.

wobblywonderwoman Sat 11-Nov-17 21:07:56

Not close. Used to be when younger but I was the 'perfect daughter' (did whatever they said, cleaned house and never took a step out of turn)

Now, as an adult, not great. Mother is spiteful and critical. Never acknowledges me - I am only wanted when she needs to let of bitterness and need help with something.

When I look back, they never wanted me to be their own person.

wobblywonderwoman Sat 11-Nov-17 21:08:10

My own person

Crunchymum Sat 11-Nov-17 21:08:45

Always thought we all had a good, honest relationship (me, my folks and 2 siblings) but recent events have made me see we are a family who skirt around issues and play nicey nice as opposed to being open and honest. My parents will do anything for an easy life.

Am going NC with a sibling and low contact with my parents.

hidinginthenightgarden Sat 11-Nov-17 21:10:24

I have a good relationship but I'm not sure I would say we are very close.
I speak to my mum once or twice a fortnight. See her once a month, same as my dad.
My younger sister lives at home so see her as often. Older sister I see/speak to 5/6 times a year.

RaindropsAndSparkles Sat 11-Nov-17 21:11:56

No siblings. Father (lovely but dead). Mother narcissist who I know I will never please. I would love to please my Mother, I never will.

But lovely husband and two great children 22 and 19. It took me a life time to understand it wasn't me.

juddyrockingcloggs Sat 11-Nov-17 21:23:08

Extremely! My mum and sister live next door to each other which is about 10 minutes walk away! We see each other about 4 times a week! We are also extremely close to DHs parents and sibling! His parents live on the next street and his sister in the next town! We see his parents about 4 times a week too and wouldn’t have it any different! It’s an open door policy in all our homes!

Sodaface Sat 11-Nov-17 21:24:38

Good relationship worn my dad now that he’s retired and am older & wiser. Have zero in common with my “mother” thankfully so don’t bother with her much. No siblings, so all in all I’ve no family other than DH & the kids.

I understand where you’re coming from as we all need support but I’ve learnt to depend on myself and be emotionally strong & if need be I have DH who is (usually) my rock in the hard times.

I know it can be upsetting at times but I think eventually you live with it.

lanbro Sat 11-Nov-17 21:25:35

Very close, can talk about anything and very supportive of each other. I realise I'm very lucky and more people I speak to the more I think we're in the minoritysad

PorpoisefullyObtuse Sat 11-Nov-17 21:26:39

I love within 10 minutes of my siblings, parents, PILs and my husbands siblings. We are very close. Not always been this way but it’s great. My DC have incredibly close relationships to their cousins (they bicker like siblings). There is so much mutual support especially in times of need. We’ve all lived all over the place and somehow ended up happily back near our roots.

donners312 Sat 11-Nov-17 21:27:48

Very close with my family.

Maybe you r family would like to be too?

Instigate a closer relationship - just pick up the phone and persevere, it might take time but might be worth it?

Doilooklikeatourist Sat 11-Nov-17 21:30:28

My parents are both dead ,
I’m in contact with one of my sisters
She calls in when she wants my help / to find out something / a favour
The other sister I have no contact with , my choice
Mum held us all together , when she died the family collapsed
Luckily I have a great DH and a loving relationship with my children , and I hope the pattern doesn’t repeat

EllaHen Sat 11-Nov-17 21:30:32

I adore spending time with my parents. I know they would do anything for me and their grandchildren.

I was extremely close to my younger brother who died in his early 30s. I get on with my other two siblings. Very easy in each other's company.

I hope my two follow in my family's footsteps with regards to healthy relationships.

Yukbuck Sat 11-Nov-17 21:31:00

Really close. Sadly we all live away from each other. One sibling about an hours drive away (Not far in the grand scheme of things but not close enough to pop over weekly) and the other is about 3.5 hours away. Our parents still live in my hometown. I visit hometown about every 4-6 weeks. We speak daily though through WhatsApp groups. I'd say it was odd if no one had messaged for about 3 days in a row. I'd say we were all relatively well behaved and obedient growing up which has helped us stay close into adulthood. It'd make me sad if we weren't close.

ILoveDolly Sat 11-Nov-17 21:32:29

I'm not that close to my mum, its frustrating, no matter how hard I try and even though we have a lot in common we just don't gel really. I feel like she pushes me away. My brother apparently couldn't care less about me or my life. It's easy now to excuse because he has had a rough few years but realistically it was always the same

lalaloopyhead Sat 11-Nov-17 21:33:25

My Mum is a very stand offish character so i can't say we are close, she raves about my sister and her kids and she has never said anything positive to me that i can recall. Having said that i know she would do whatever she could for me practically speaking. I just don't understand why she can't express and love or affection to me, especially as i nearly died as a child on more than occasion!
I get on well with my sister and although we don't ae each other regularly it is a comfortable relationship.

Louiselouie0890 Sat 11-Nov-17 21:37:36

I was very close but realised it was because I was letting there crap slide. After drama started with my children I cut all contact. Made it very clear I don't have time to waste on idiots. Especially when it involves my children.

jacks11 Sat 11-Nov-17 21:37:37

Very close relationship with my parents, particularly my mum who is one of the loveliest people I know. I'm very lucky.

Poor relationship with my brother though, we don't get on at all. I think if it weren't for our parents we would have little, if any, contact at all- and I can honestly say I would be ok with that.

dinodiva Sat 11-Nov-17 21:59:54

Really close. I would class my mum as one of my best friends. Adore my dad and sister too - we love spending time together. DH comes from close family too which is also lovely.

OuchBollocks Sat 11-Nov-17 22:02:49

Physically far but emotionally close. My parents and sister have been absolute angels this year, couldn't have done it without them. My sister is my best friend in the world; even if we do fall out once in a while - we're only human - we have each other's backs and I know I can tell her anything and her lips will be sealed.

iismum Sat 11-Nov-17 22:05:02

I’m really fond of them all but not close. My dad is staying at the moment and I find I don’t have much to say to him - conversation is a bit of an effort. Likewise with my sister - I’m fond of her and like to see her from time to time but we have nothing in common and she drives me up the wall. My kids (8 & 10) adore them all.

Dramallama21 Sat 11-Nov-17 22:05:59

Very strained. I dont trust my mum or sibling.

ThorsMistress Sat 11-Nov-17 22:15:47

Really close.

I speak to my mum at least once a day and will message my sister daily too. We all live within a 5 minute drive of each other and see each other numerous times a week.

My brother is in uni so don't really speak to him much but when we do see each other it's lovely. Same with my dad. They live a 10 (probably slightly less) minute drive away.

PhyllisWig Sat 11-Nov-17 22:15:52

Close to my parents - they live about 30 mins away so we see them often and they are lovely grandparents.

Were close to pil but they moved to the other side of the country and we found we were a bit out of sight out of mind. Dh talks to his mum fairly often but I find it a bit hard that they clearly aren’t at all fussed at seeing the kids.

Dh gets on well with 2 of his 3 siblings but again geography and life means we see them rarely. I lost my sibling unexpectedly which has been a shattering experience and I miss him every day.

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