Am I just acting high maintenance?(2 Posts)
My BF and I have been together for about a year.
We did long distance for several months, not too long after we first became official. When I was away, he was texting constantly and I felt like a huge priority in his life. Actually, I did find it a little bit suffocating, which I told him as I was crazy busy with work and felt I was always on my phone to him. But I always made sure to make him a priority and often would text etc when I really didn't have time to. I think he was also feeling very insecure when I was away. It all worked out though, and things have been good since we've been together again.
We live in the same city but he goes home a lot at weekends-this has been an issue as he was going home all the time but things are improving. The thing that is bothering me is that when he goes home now, his texting/communication is so much less regular. It has started to really bother me as I feel that once he is away from me with his friends and family, I am no longer a priority.
It annoys me as when I was away, I always made sure to text regularly even when I had so much on as I knew he missed me and was lonely etc.
I have said it to him twice. Both times, he got defensive and could not see at all where I was coming from. He made it clear he thought I was being unreasonable and said that as we are now together again, obviously the texting will be less. I suppose the dynamics have changed-I am now the one left behind when he is away and it upsets me that he doesn't make the effort I made for him.
The thing is, in other relationships, I have never been a big texter. But as we started off for months with so much communication, it upsets me that he now bothers to text me so little when he is away from me.
Last week, we had a serious argument about where our relationship was going as he is not thinking about the future. He very much lives day to day. I almost ended it but he convinced me not to. But I told him I needed to feel like a priority in his life or there was no point in a relationship. He is home this weekend and we had a few texts in the morning but I have not heard back from him since. Its not nighttime. It just bothers me that he has no interest in what I am doing etc and I know he is just at home/visiting with family.
Am I being high maintenance or would this bother you?
How often is he texting now? Relationships develop, even if nothing had changed I wouldnt expect almost suffocating levels of communication a year on.
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