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AIBU to be pissed off about DHs lights?

(38 Posts)
Oldwiseone Sat 11-Nov-17 20:13:49

I suffer terribly from dry eyes. To the point that my eyes will give me a corneal abrasion on waking some mornings. Which is a unbearable. The pain for the first hour after this happens is awful. It can take a couple days for my vision to recover from it.

I am also really sensitive to certain lights. Really bright LED lights really affect my eyes and give me headaches.

I also suffer occasionally from optical mirgraines.

My Dad has a lot of eye issues too and ended up registered blind. So I panic a lot where my eyes are concerned.

My husband changed his car recently. And he fitted lots of bright LED lights on his car. His interior light is super bright. He has super bright LED lights on each of his interior doors.

He knows these types of lights affect my eyes. But he said ‘it’s my f’ing car so deal with it’. So I told him when it’s dark outside I won’t be going out in the car.

He said I am being dramatic. I said he is thoughtless fitting these lights that he knows affect me.

AIBU to be upset that he cares more about his lights than he does about me and my comfort?

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 11-Nov-17 20:14:56

Maybe a duvet and pillow is just what his dcar needs - thoughtless bastard.

oblada Sat 11-Nov-17 20:16:18

Yes you are right to be pissed, he's a selfish idiot! I can't imagine ever doing that to my DH it's ridiculous!

AlternativeTentacle Sat 11-Nov-17 20:17:19

And he fitted lots of bright LED lights on his car. His interior light is super bright. He has super bright LED lights on each of his interior doors


Catsize Sat 11-Nov-17 20:17:42

I don’t usually say this OP on threads like this, but hopefully you will ‘see the light’ and marry someone more considerate next time.

Catsize Sat 11-Nov-17 20:18:14

And he sounds like a 17yr old boy racer!

GothAndTired Sat 11-Nov-17 20:19:00

Just don't get in the car.

MakeItRain Sat 11-Nov-17 20:19:44

So you mean he's gone out of his way to fit lights to his car that severely affect your eyes?shock That's really unkind (to put it mildly). Just reiterate that you won't be going out in it at night and tell him "it's my f'ing eyes, so deal with it."

tinymango Sat 11-Nov-17 20:20:15

I am going to be controversial & say that you sound like a bit of a yap!

Ikanon Sat 11-Nov-17 20:20:28

I get LED related migraines. Street lights changing to LED. Work overhead lights changing to LED. All properly ruin my ability to live a normal life. My DH has to be in charge of closing blinds when the outside lights are on or I get a migraine. He's a star.

Your DH is a prize knob if he's actually doing things to his car which cause you a migraine or other issues.

MyKingdomForBrie Sat 11-Nov-17 20:23:31

Does he not believe you about your eyes? If he believed you surely he wouldn’t have done this?

MyKingdomForBrie Sat 11-Nov-17 20:25:54

Does he not believe you about your eyes? If he believed you surely he wouldn’t have done this?

ferrier Sat 11-Nov-17 20:27:27

Sounds deliberately goady on his part.

thelastredwinegum Sat 11-Nov-17 20:29:18

Are the lights on in the car when it's being driven?

deepestdarkestperu Sat 11-Nov-17 20:31:08

He sounds like a dick.

DeadDeadDeadRose Sat 11-Nov-17 20:31:52

What a cock. Seriously, does he just not believe you? How can he be such a dick to the woman he supposedly loves?

By the way, I have dry eye, I use celluvisc drops - have you tried them? Apologies if you're far beyond that stage. I also have found soft contact lenses help though this seems quite counter-intuitive.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 11-Nov-17 20:32:30

I agree that it sounds deliberate.

I didn’t get those annoying bright lights on my new car because I didn’t want to be that arsehole. And it wouldn’t even have affected a family member.

ToffeeSauce Sat 11-Nov-17 20:32:56

Wow. I’m a migraine sufferer too OP and I honestly think this would be a marriage ender for me.

Pythonesque Sat 11-Nov-17 20:33:52

Are your dry eyes being managed properly with lubricants and/or artificial tears? If you have had corneal abrasions then I hope your eyes are being looked after - and if this is a regular occurrence ask if there is anything more effective available / get advice on how to use stuff differently to improve things overnight.

Sympathy on the light reactions. Not helpful!!
(my mother has severe dry eyes and it is worrying now that cumulative damage is getting hard to avoid)

TatianaLarina Sat 11-Nov-17 20:38:56

Have you been checked for Sjogrens OP?

Either way, I get migraines from certain lights - not LEDs but flickery strip lighting. I would be irate in your position. I certainly wouldn’t go in his car after dark full stop.

Is he generally this much of a tosser?

TatianaLarina Sat 11-Nov-17 20:40:39


Sjogren's (SHOW-grins) syndrome is a disorder of your immune system identified by its two most common symptoms — dry eyes and a dry mouth

kaytee87 Sat 11-Nov-17 20:44:52

Your husband sounds like he actively dislikes you. Going by your op and the way he speaks to you, it doesn’t sound like a happy marriage.

pictish Sat 11-Nov-17 20:48:42

But he won't be driving with the interior lights on.

Boysnme Sat 11-Nov-17 20:52:03

Your DH is being a twat. My DH has horrendous eye problems, I wouldn’t dream of doing anything that could make anything worse for him.

thenightsky Sat 11-Nov-17 20:53:55

The LEDs are inside the car? Don't they go off when driving?

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