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To dread going out?

(44 Posts)
Stormzy Sat 11-Nov-17 19:14:39

I haven't been out without my DD since July. I'm only 24 and my friends think this is ridiculous, but I'm a single parent and though I have people willing to babysit, it all seems such a faff and I can never really be arsed.

But today I've spent the whole day cleaning and sorting (also painting and singing etc etc) with DD messing stuff up as I go. It is exhausting being a lone parent, and I just wanted to make myself look nice and go out and be me for a night.

I'm studying and I work and I just felt I deserved a night out. I've just found out abusive exP has got a girlfriend. He's in no way a catch and I'm glad I'm not with him but it's made me feel a bit rubbish.

But faff getting her up to her aunties, faff leaving - she cried a lot and I felt horrendous, though I'm getting pictures of her now happy as Larry getting spoilt.

Now I'm home, I'm just drinking wine and I cba to get ready. I feel fat and can't find anything to wear. I know I'm going to feel rubbish tomorrow. I feel guilty not being with my DD. I feel guilty spending money I could be spending on Christmas and things. Feel like cancelling tbh. sad does anyone else get like this? Maybe I'll have a good time when I get out. It's all so much simpler sitting on my sofa on my own!

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Sat 11-Nov-17 19:17:55

Give your head a wobble & get in the bloody shower. Game face on, get out & enjoy your night-yes it's a date but fuck it, your not just a parent & it's fine to have a fun night out.
Do not cancel!

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Sat 11-Nov-17 19:18:54

It's a faff not a fucking date-twatting phone hmm

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 11-Nov-17 19:19:28

You have a dd free evening!! I promise you will have a lovely night off!!
Invest time into your friendships! It will pay off, and tomorrow you can have dd back again!!

BrandNewHouse Sat 11-Nov-17 19:20:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scrubsy Sat 11-Nov-17 19:22:57

Make the effort and go. I know it's hard but you will enjoy yourself once you are out.
Have fun!

SharkSkinThing Sat 11-Nov-17 19:24:26

You sound lovely, and it's so tough at the stage! Hats off for all the balls you are clearly juggling. Will you be letting anyone down by cancelling?

Personally, if staying home gives you what you need in terms of a break, stay at home. You'll only have to deal with tomorrow tired and hung over (and broke).

Get your pj's on and snuggle on the sofa. There will always be other nights out. 💚

Pumkinfailure Sat 11-Nov-17 19:25:15

Yes, particularly in the winter, I do end up enjoying myself mostly but I totally get how you feel

SharkSkinThing Sat 11-Nov-17 19:26:13

Uh oh....I am going against the grain here!

PlopGoesTheWeasel Sat 11-Nov-17 19:26:30

First thing to do is get yourself ready. That's the biggest hurdle to get over, and chances are you will feel better once you have dressed up and done your hair, etc.

Don't cancel. Your friends want to spend time with you.

ILoveMillhousesDad Sat 11-Nov-17 19:32:17

Put some music on and go get ready!!!

Got to say tho, I know what you mean. Especially when its dark and cold outside.

Stormzy Sat 11-Nov-17 19:46:22

I got myself ready. I just look horrendous 😩 bloody Facebook memories doesn't help, I went out on this date last year 3 stone lighter. Fml 😩😩

Pengggwn Sat 11-Nov-17 19:46:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stormzy Sat 11-Nov-17 19:48:26

On the bright side I'm getting endless pics of my DD loving life well past bedtime. So at least she's fine. I just feel so rank compared to other people my age. My hairs shit, I'm massive, I'm just so ashamed with how I look ATM.

No, no chance cancelling. My best friends arranged a babysitter and is on her way and is v excited that we're going out.

outofmydepth45 Sat 11-Nov-17 19:49:34

You have friends who want to go out with you, go have fun. If you want to lose weight put that down as a task for tomorrow unmumsnetty hug !

Scrubsy Sat 11-Nov-17 19:51:27

I know how you feel OP I'm 2 stone overweight and hate going out.
But, you really do need and deserve the adult company . You will feel so much better for it.
By the way you sound like a wonderful mum.

ememem84 Sat 11-Nov-17 19:52:02

You may have gone out three stone lighter this time last year but so what? No biggie. I’m assuming in that time you’ve been pregnant and had dd.

Go out. Have fun. Have a couple of drinks. Enjoy yourself. You’ll feel better for doing it.

I had ds 7 weeks ago. We went out without him last Friday. I needed it. He cried for my parents. But he was fine after 20 minutes or so. I felt so much better in myself on Saturday. More normal. More like me. More capable.

You’re doing a great job. It must be tough doing it on your own. I’m finding it tough and dh is here too. Enjoy yourself!!!

Stormzy Sat 11-Nov-17 20:45:55

So my best friend's just got here and she's all you look amazing let me borrow your jumpsuit one day your hair's unreal your make up is lovely etc etc

I know she can't really say I look shit blush but I feel loads better.

So I'm off out out. Wish me luck guys grin

Stormzy Sat 11-Nov-17 20:51:57

You may have gone out three stone lighter this time last year but so what? No biggie. I’m assuming in that time you’ve been pregnant and had dd.

Unfortunately I had my DD in 2015. The stress from the abusive relationship, and all the hoo ha getting out of it - court cases etc - made me stress eat and I've piled on the weight.

Crunchymum Sat 11-Nov-17 20:57:45

Get yourself dressed, head out and if you aren't enjoying yourself after your 3rd drink then get a take away and head home to finish your wine wine

MyKingdomForBrie Sat 11-Nov-17 21:00:05

Your friend sounds like a gem and I bet you look a lot nicer than you realise! Have a blast.

holidayqueriwifi Sat 11-Nov-17 21:08:12

Have a lovely time. It's one night - just repeat. I'm very similar, happy in my own company with DC or not. Your friend will help boost!

Traffig Sat 11-Nov-17 21:18:12

Have a lovely time, you deserve it.

PovertyPain Sat 11-Nov-17 21:24:03

I think you got rid of the most offensive weight, the wanker you were with. Have a lovely night, op.

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain Sat 11-Nov-17 21:27:14

Have a lovely time wine

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