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To think nearly every mother drives their daughter mad sometimes

(21 Posts)
Mammylamb Sat 11-Nov-17 18:53:28

My mum is driving me mad ATM. Moaning about me texting her when she was at an Event (she text me first) and nagging me about my house being messy. I love my mum, and know she loves me. But I cannot be the only one who's mother drives me daft sometimes!!!

toffee1000 Sat 11-Nov-17 19:03:24

Of course! Even if you have a good relationship with your mother (like my mum does with my grandma) they can drive you batcrap crazy. If you don't have a good relationship, they probably wouldn't drive you crazy, more enrage you.

fourfuckssake4 Sat 11-Nov-17 19:36:33

My Mum used to drive me batshit crazy. Wish she was still around. I know I do the same to my kidsgrinbut they love me grin

lucydogz Sat 11-Nov-17 19:37:41

Yes, it comes with the territory

Redsrule Sat 11-Nov-17 19:51:39

So, so wish my mum could phone me and I come off the phone furious. RIP my darling mum

Ecureuil Sat 11-Nov-17 19:57:48

Mine drives me insane sometimes but she wouldn’t dare moan at me about the state of my house grin

taptaptap Sat 11-Nov-17 20:02:54

I think people can be alike and therefore clash, because one of them has to win!

I have a very difficult relationship with my mother. Nothing abusive or anything, just very very tough to deal with. Put downs and negativity all the time.

I wish I had a mum who would drive me crazy in a good way. And a hug, never got that. Hope you understand me.

Be grateful that is all they do to you. x

Outnotdown Sat 11-Nov-17 20:14:31

My mam helps me out with my kids every day, unasked. She hangs out washing if she sees it in the machine, without me saying a word. She'll make me tea, change a nappy if it needs it, and is available anytime I need her.

And she drives me MENTAL. Up the bloody wall. So as well as being irritated, I have HUGE guilt because she's so lovely. Grr.

At least I have a daughter too, I can continue the cycle.

(And yes, I know how lucky I am.)

ClaryFray Sat 11-Nov-17 20:17:09

Mine drives me crazy!! Absolute seething at times, however the though of life without her doesn't bear thinking about, so I let her get on with it.

Nanna50 Sat 11-Nov-17 20:18:31

Yes my mother drove me crazy sometimes and I drive my daughter mad at times. None of it intentional and it works the other way too smile

kalinkafoxtrot45 Sat 11-Nov-17 20:19:53

Yes, and I know she doesn't mean to.

CherryChasingDotMuncher Sat 11-Nov-17 20:22:46

YANBU. My mother treats me profoundly different to my the way she treats my brothers. I try very hard not to do this to my own DD

Bertsfriend Sat 11-Nov-17 20:30:09

Thanks for this thread op, I sometimes see a thread title along the lines of 'my mum has just said/done' and my heart sinks in case it's dd! I can be a bit tactless with dd but I hope it's just within the normal realms of annoying mother behaviour. I have 25 years more experience than dd and just can't understand why she doesn't appreciate my input!

My own mother however...bit worse than tactless unfortunately.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Sat 11-Nov-17 20:35:22

Well I had my mother emotionally blackmail me, call me a crap mother then hang up on me this weekend. All because my dad lied to her about encouraging my dc to lie and hide something from me and she didn't want to hear my side of the story. #fuckem 🤷‍♀️

SurvivorNC Sat 11-Nov-17 20:46:40

I wonder what it’s like to have a healthy and happy relationship with your mum?

I can’t stand my mum and she can’t stand me. We can’t even live on the same continent. 4 days in one another’s company once or twice a year is enough. She’s constantly putting me down and in competition with me; she was once ripping in to me so loudly and rudely making jokes about how stupid I am (she thought she was hilarious) in front of family and friends at a restaurant that when she went to the toilet the waiter came over asking how much has she had to drink and would I like to cut her off... she hadn’t been drinking, she’s just like that! confused

I don’t know how so many mother-daughter relationships become so strained.

Mammylamb Sat 11-Nov-17 20:50:08

flowers for thatwouldbe.... that sounds awful

My mum came and helped me when I was heavily pregnant and terrified and stayed til my son was a week old. She then stayed while my husband went back to work and within 2 days told me that I didn't need her as I was coping on my own very well. And she also looked after us when I was ill six months later. So she is a good soul. But omg she drives me bloody mental! Moaning that I haven't called her but she can see I've been on facebook (I use facebook while lying beside a toddler who has just fallen alseep but will wake the second I move). Or moaning about me not using all the food in the fridge up. Or reminding me to lock my front door and let the dog out for a pee before I go to bed (never have I forgotten to do either of these) .,

Acrosstheuniverse123 Sat 11-Nov-17 20:57:22

I have had a very difficult relationship with my mother all my life. She is nasty, spiteful and self absorbed. My sister and she are in cahoots and I feel like the outsider. It is so painful. Recently she hung up on me at a really difficult time when I was dealing with some awful stuff. I haven't spoken to her in months, she won't apologise and I am just sick of it all. On the other hand I feel really upset that things are like this. She is elderly and who knows how much longer she will live. It is hard to know what to do.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Sat 11-Nov-17 21:00:10

Thanks @Mammylamb tbf I think I need to be on the Stately Homes (toxic parents) thread as I'm about done with this. You can't argue with batshit!

Mittens1969 Sat 11-Nov-17 21:32:24

My Mum definitely drives me crazy. I believe she always thinks she’s being helpful, but she winds everyone up! Whenever I talk about things I’m dealing with, she always ends up giving advice rather than just listening. She also constantly feels it’s her duty to point out things I’m doing wrong, particularly in relation to parenting my DDs, but she also criticises my choice of clothes to wear. She believes in honesty.

Her love is not in question, she just has no boundaries and she has hurt me a lot over the years in the things she’s said to me because of her belief in honesty.

But she’s also heard things about my and my DSis’s childhood which have been distressing, and she is in her late 70s.

cathyclown Sat 11-Nov-17 22:23:13

I honestly don't think mothers and daughters get on all that well. It may seem like that on the surface of course and go with it. You are lucky to have this at least.

It is a constant battle of "I know more than you, no you don't, times are different now etc. etc." Command and Control from cradle to grave.

Ecureuil Sun 12-Nov-17 07:06:52

It is a constant battle of "I know more than you, no you don't, times are different now etc. etc." Command and Control from cradle to grave

My mum isn’t like this it all. She drives me insane with her habits but there’s no element of control at all. When my DC were born she was more than happy to accept that times (and advice) had changed and would never have criticised the way I did things.
I know a lot of people who have great relationships with their mums, and some who don’t. Becoming a mum doesn’t make you a controlling person, but controlling people can obviously become mums.

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