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To feel like I don’t exist

(7 Posts)
Polarbearflavour Sat 11-Nov-17 14:33:11

I’m sitting in a hotel bar now on my own. Lots of older people being given table service. I waited 15 minutes and went to the bar to order. I was barely acknowledged.

At work in my current team - nobody really talks to me and I never get invited to things. On my appraisal I was told I was a valued member of the team and not suitable for progression. So when I recently got a new, higher grade job doing something different in the organisation they all looked at me like hmm and didn’t congratulate me or ask any questions.

On checking in at an airport in a business class line, the check in agent ignored me and called other people forward until I insisted on her checking me in. On the flight, one of the crew ignored me in favour of the middle aged businessmen in suits until I politely asked for what I wanted.

Same in shops and at make-up counters. I do have money to spend but often nobody will help.

I do look very young (early 20s but I’m not!) I dress nicely and am well groomed. I’m polite. I’m smiley. I have friends and interests. In my previous jobs I definitely had a work social life and work friends so I know it’s not just me not making an effort.

Any ideas on how to increase my presence?!

Gorgeous73 Sat 11-Nov-17 14:40:22

Yes. Let go, and enjoy your life. Do the things your like and follow your interests. The right people will naturally become part of your life. And for the rest of the people, oh well, we all have visible and invisible times grin

SeaCabbage Sat 11-Nov-17 14:41:15

Sounds horrible! How is your posture and your eye contact?

Polarbearflavour Sat 11-Nov-17 14:44:49

I did years of drama and ballet so think my posture is pretty good and so is my eye contact. sad

GreenPetal94 Sat 11-Nov-17 14:44:53

But do you notice when you do get noticed? Everyone has been ignored in a bar but you need to weigh that against when you are not. If you got promoted then you certainly got noticed there, well done.

MiraiDevant Sun 12-Nov-17 09:10:00

Wait until you are sixty - then you will really know what invisible is like> Or 85 - then people just talk about you in your presence as if you are truly not there. grin

I am sure there are times when you are noticed - and sometimes it is a real bonus not to attract attention

TheSnowFairy Sun 12-Nov-17 09:33:48

Smile less, make eye contact with bar staff etc when you arrive so they know you are there and expect to be dealt with.

It's ridiculous though, smiley and pleasant should be making people want to serve you!

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