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To ask how you'd respond to your FIL making an unannounced speech at your wedding?

(303 Posts)
quickopinionsplease Sat 11-Nov-17 11:25:57

As per the title really smile

So there you are at your wedding breakfast, formal affair, it's speech time.

You all know the running order, you're all a bit nervous because you've been working on your speech.

And then in the middle of it all, FIL stands up to make a speech. You aren't sure what's going on.

He hasn't told you about this, hasn't checked if it's ok or run it past you.

How do you feel about this?

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 11-Nov-17 11:29:00

Hide under a table?

ArbitraryName Sat 11-Nov-17 11:30:54

I’d feel totally fine because I know my FIL and he wouldn’t say anything awful in a speech. He’d probably just say something really sweet.

JoyceDivision Sat 11-Nov-17 11:31:13

Think he wants to make a speech as per father of other person getting married, and why not? If it's kind and not outrageous, go for it.

BeanoNoir Sat 11-Nov-17 11:31:28

Was he due to do a speech at all, or just not at that time? More info needed I think

BeetrootTart Sat 11-Nov-17 11:31:41

I'm anti-speech so I'd feel embarrassed. What did he say...?

Witsender Sat 11-Nov-17 11:32:35

As long as it was an appropriate speech I wouldn't have minded at all. He would be my husband's father after all, and I would prefer a more relaxed feel anyway.

DelphiniumBlue Sat 11-Nov-17 11:32:48

Depends what he said.
Had you asked him previously if he wanted to make a speech? Did DH know?

MayFayner Sat 11-Nov-17 11:33:35

I'd think it was bloody rude as the next person to make a speech would be displaced.

Also I'd worry that an impromptu speech was a result of too much vino and go knows what he was going to come out with.

notacooldad Sat 11-Nov-17 11:34:10

Assuming it was a nice speech I would be happy.
I would just go with the flow and carry on enjoying the day. Isn't that what weddings are supposed to be about?

Skittlesandbeer Sat 11-Nov-17 11:34:13

Depends on the FIL, depends on the speech. Mostly depends on his level of inebriation.

Could be sweet, spontaneous and a wonderful surprise that is remembered fondly at each anniversary.

Could be grounds for a (very) quickie divorce.

Ohdearducks Sat 11-Nov-17 11:35:03

I honestly wouldn’t care about this, was there some sort of negative impact that has caused problems?

PaperdollCartoon Sat 11-Nov-17 11:35:58

If it was my FIL I’d be pleased, I like him more than my Dad and he’d say something lovely. But I’m pretty sure he’d say in advance if he wanted to do a speech, or wait for me to ask him.

I think the context of this particular FIL is important.

MatildaTheCat Sat 11-Nov-17 11:36:14

He should have mentioned it and asked permission. Was it a spur of the moment thing or pre written?

However, unless he said or did something offensive or embarrassing I’d not stress, it’s a lovely occasion and getting upset about a speech seems a bit pointless.

BarbarianMum Sat 11-Nov-17 11:37:07

It wouldn't even occur to me to care because im really not big on wedding ettiquette. Whether it was a problem or not depended on what he had to say.

quickopinionsplease Sat 11-Nov-17 11:37:17

Nobody knew. He wasn’t due to make a speech.

quickopinionsplease Sat 11-Nov-17 11:37:37

It was pre-written!

BarbarianMum Sat 11-Nov-17 11:38:08

But do you have a problem with what he said?

Piglet208 Sat 11-Nov-17 11:38:21

Was it a kind speech? As long as he said nice things I don't think it matters.

toolonglurking Sat 11-Nov-17 11:38:44

Was it a nice speech though?

VioletCharlotte Sat 11-Nov-17 11:39:32

How I'd feel depends on the content. Was it a nice speech. If so, i'dbe surprised, but delighted he'd made the effort.

Squeegle Sat 11-Nov-17 11:39:54

Was the speech ok? It’s a bit odd, but is it worth falling out over at such a happy time?

mogulfield Sat 11-Nov-17 11:40:16

Depends, do you like your fil? Was it appropriate for the occasion and audience? If he said lovely things I wouldn’t mind at all.

Everythingsr0sie Sat 11-Nov-17 11:40:22

I would think it very sweet and be chuffed (am assuming it was nice!)

MayFayner Sat 11-Nov-17 11:41:14

He can't have said anything too bad or your OP would be about the content of the speech rather than the fact he made a speech, I reckon.

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