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AIBU to be annoyed by step-MIL's "first grandchild" comment

(61 Posts)
thiskittenbarks Sat 11-Nov-17 11:23:46

Now I know no one should get annoyed about Facebook stuff. My DHs step brother and his gf just got their first dog. DHs step mum posted a photo of said dog on Facebook saying “my first grandchild ❤️”. She’s not remotely tongue and cheek person so I know it wasn’t meant like that, she is also very much a dog person and would genuinely consider a dog a “child”. She’s been his step mum for nearly 30 years so she’s not exactly a new addition to the family and we are all close.
Not to mention the fact me and DH have previously had a dog - we also have a baby who she has always referred to (at least in front of us) as her grandchild.
I understand that she will probably feel more strongly about her biological grandchildren if / when they arrive but... a dog? And on a forum where she knew we would see it?
Are me and DH BU to annoyed about this?

BeanoNoir Sat 11-Nov-17 11:27:38

Yanbu to be annoyed, but I think Ywbu to take it any further than just being mildly annoyed. Unless there’s more to the family dynamics she probably hasn’t even thought about it in the way you have, and just put it up as a nice comment. Can understand why you feel put off but I’d just try and laugh it off to yourself if you have an otherwise good relationship. Don’t let a silly phrase on Facebook ruin that, and try not to think it is a reflection on how sm sees your dc.

RhiWrites Sat 11-Nov-17 11:28:13

YABU. A nice comment about someone else’s dog hasn’t robbed your child of a grandmother. The dog and the child are not in competition.

ChardonnaysPrettySister Sat 11-Nov-17 11:29:11

Did not consider that she might not have been entirely serious?

LaBelleSausage Sat 11-Nov-17 11:31:19

I think she’s been a bit thoughtless, but without knowing your family circumstances it’s hard to know if she’s deliberately trying to stir things up.

I’d just comment on the photo as well and say that you can’t wait to meet your new niece/nephew for some puppy snuggles

Aderyn17 Sat 11-Nov-17 11:31:35

Yanbu - a dog is not the same as a child, no matter what some crazy arse people think. It would have been a less irritating thing to hear if she didn't already have an actual grandchild! The bio/step aspect shouldn't come into it if she is referring to your child as her grandchild.
Maybe she just means first grandchild from their side? Some people are just a bit insensitive without meaning anything by it

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 11-Nov-17 11:33:21

I would be glad she was faffing about a dog and not interfering with my dc tbh!!

UnRavellingFast Sat 11-Nov-17 11:33:50

It's insensitive and rather silly. Yes, you don't want a falling out over a stupid comment on fb, but I would be rankled by this. However, snort and move on, OP.

C0untDucku1a Sat 11-Nov-17 11:33:50

I couldnt help but respond. Inknow i shouldnt. Butnid be right there with, you consider one son’s dog more of a grandchild than your other son’s child? I guess it is at least good to know where we all stand...

Medeci Sat 11-Nov-17 11:38:21

YABU + sense of humour failure.
Do you REALLY think she considers the dog her first grandchild?

schoolgaterebel Sat 11-Nov-17 11:40:25

I would comment, it would probably be the wrong thing to do, but I wouldn't be able to help myself.

' Is (insert child's name) not your grandchild then?'

KurriKurri Sat 11-Nov-17 11:44:04

I would comment 'Aah sweet - he looks just like his Granny'

Whocansay Sat 11-Nov-17 11:44:41

It put's you in your place doesn't it?

Make sure you refer to her by her name in future. If she's being like that don't give her a grandmother title. I she asks why, you can refer to that comment.

Gemini69 Sat 11-Nov-17 11:45:10

I look forward to the dogs first day of school photos.. first nativity play photos.. first everything's... oh the fun she will have... oh hang on.. hmm

Whocansay Sat 11-Nov-17 11:45:30

Although I like KurriKurri's comment!

thiskittenbarks Sat 11-Nov-17 11:47:32

She’s just not a jokey type of person. I’ve known her for 10 years and I’ve never heard her make a joke on social media or otherwise. I’d happily bet our house on it not being intended as a joke.
There is a lot of complicated family history and children from one side of family are treated entirely differently to step children and children from the second marriage. It’s salt in some very old wounds for DH I think.

KalaLaka Sat 11-Nov-17 11:49:00

But how is she in all other respects, as a grandmother?

DeepAutumn Sat 11-Nov-17 11:50:17

I'd laugh! She probably thought that because the comment was about a dog she couldn't possibly upset you!

KalaLaka Sat 11-Nov-17 11:50:27

Just read your last post. Hmmm. Ok hide from your social media feed and try to accept that this is how she may be in future if she has bio-grandchildren. You'll be prepared. Keep at arms reach so you're not hurt.

KalaLaka Sat 11-Nov-17 11:51:28

It wouldn't be upsetting if she's said 'second grandchild.' It's the 'first' that's hurtful and entirely thoughtless. Shows how she may really feel.

MinervaSaidThar Sat 11-Nov-17 11:52:05

YANBU. At least your DH has no illusions about her.

OldWitch00 Sat 11-Nov-17 11:56:11

It’s FB....she probably got the idea from friends.
Life’s too short to be upset by this.

Ellie56 Sat 11-Nov-17 11:58:59

I would just think, "Stupid woman," and move on . Life's too short to get upset over this kind of thing.

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 11-Nov-17 11:59:13

Is it because she’s exasperated she doesn’t yet have a gc from her ds?

Butterymuffin Sat 11-Nov-17 11:59:23

What does she want to be called by your baby, or call herself with regard to the baby? Because next time she says 'Granny blah blah' I would be tempted to say 'oh, I thought dog's name was your first grandchild'.

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