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Spiked drink - help please

(13 Posts)
Andromeida29 Fri 10-Nov-17 00:59:17

Posting here for traffic.

Hello all. I'd like your advice. All this "Me too" stuff online has really triggered me. 14 years ago I had my drink spiked by a "friend". Thankfully another friend called me and came to pick me up because I sounded out of it. I was really hyper and then almost collapsed. I spoke to a helpline the next day and they said that it sounded that my drink had been spiked. I rang the Doctor's but they out me off getting a blood test done. I spoke to the Police and the first question they asked was "what were you wearing?" (And not for ID purposes). I was called back a few weeks later by a Policewoman as it was suspected that the one who did it to me was doing it to others. I moved towns and then saw him a few years later at a bus station, it was a complete shock as this was 60 plus miles from where I lived.

Question. Do I report it to the Police again? I feel so angry about it and whilst I know that it is unlikely that it will go anywhere. I want a record somewhere with his name on it. I have two witnesses who can verify my behaviour on that evening. Please help

Redglitter Fri 10-Nov-17 01:15:07

Unfortunately there's nothing at all the police can do after all this time. For a suspected spiking tests need to be done at the time. Even reporting it isn't going to flag your 'friend' up on Police systems. Your friends testimony won't count for anything either I'm afraid

Phosphorus Fri 10-Nov-17 01:19:33

There isn't any point in reporting it.

Even if the person had spiked others, they could only prosecute with evidence, otherwise any random person could accuse people of anything, and expect 'something to be done'.

Which would be wrong, clearly.

healzam Fri 10-Nov-17 01:32:35

I'm sorry this happened to you and that it's still effecting you.

Andromeida29 Fri 10-Nov-17 01:40:40

Thank you Healzam. I didn't think it has been but with all the talk of sexual harrasement/assault it just brought it all back. I know it was him. I tried to do something at the time but was dissuaded by the Doctor's and the Police. I'm angry and I want to do something.

WallisFrizz Fri 10-Nov-17 01:54:20

Did he actually do anything to you when he had spiked your drink or would you just be reporting him for spiking the drink (which you have already done). The latter is an offence but no way it would be proven now and that could leave you feeling more angry. I doubt they would even interview him given the fact that it sounded like they investigated him at the time.

Consider counselling and also maybe, if you really feel it would help you contact the Police to ask them what the outcome was from when they called you back as they suspected him of doing it to other women. They should still have the records of your report.

Andromeida29 Fri 10-Nov-17 02:01:09

He didn't manage to do anything to me because instead of meeting at his home (like he kept pressing me to do), we met in a bar. I felt that something was off but thought I was being paranoid so I had a friend call me half an hour in to my meeting with the other "friend". When I picked up the phone, according to my safety friend, I sounded completely wasted. Instead of staying on the phone he hung up and came to pick me up. After my numerous calls to the Police and doctors. I called him and left a voicemail stating that I needed his help because I thought my drink was spiked and I wanted to know if he saw anything because I was going to go to the Police. After he got the message, he called my phone, my Grandparent's phone and my Mum's phone to try to speak to me to dissuade me from going to the
Police.

WallisFrizz Fri 10-Nov-17 02:10:45

I understand you being traumatised by it especially if he was someone you trusted. However you reported it at the time and it sounds like they looked into it even if it wasn’t to your satisfaction (the police have got better at dealing with sexual offences in recent years). I am as sure as I can be that literally nothing would happen if you reported it again. I think your priority has to be your mental well-being.

Ginkypig Fri 10-Nov-17 12:00:15

Sorry I wanted to reply last night but I lost your thread and was too tired to work out how to find it again.

Although I'm in agreement that the police wouldn't be able to take a case forward I actually disagree that that means there's no point in going back.

I think you could go and have a chat with the police, tell them you understand that they probably can't do anything after so many years but....

firstly it will help you feel better and more in control also time has moved on a lot and perceptions have changed so your likely to get a better reception from the police which will likely help you feel you can put it to rest.
Secondly, there very well be other people who have gone to the police about him.

I'm not a police officer so can only give my own experience.

I talked police after an abusive partner raped me (someone else reported it) they were very interested and said that even though I didn't want to pursue things through the court that if in the future someone else brought a case to them about him the fact that there was a previous person who had reported him would be of help to them (for that person) Im guessing it suppose it shows a pattern of behaviour

Andromeida29 Fri 10-Nov-17 21:41:37

Thanks Ginkypig. So sorry to hear about your experience. I spoke to the Police today and I've been told that his name was never recorded hence the lack of communication. I'm making an official complaint now and happy I'm doing it. Xx

ferntwist Sat 11-Nov-17 07:45:11

Absolutely report it. It would be good for them to have his name on record. There is no limit to the time you can report sexual crimes.

ferntwist Sat 11-Nov-17 07:45:29

Good for you!

Ginkypig Sat 11-Nov-17 11:12:24

Thanks andromieda, it's a long time ago and only one thing in a list of hellish things from that time so don't worry too much! Iv been with a lovely man for 15 years now so life has moved on a lot

I'm really glad that my post might have been of help. Also that you have had such a positive result this time even if nothing ever comes from it you can move on now knowing you've done everything you can to take control and can put it in the past.

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