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AIBU?

To ask have you ever done something for someone who could never pay you back?

71 replies

Midge1978 · 09/11/2017 23:05

This quote was on twitter today: “you haven’t lived until you’ve done something for someone who can never pay you back”

I work with children so I guess I kind of do that everyday. Teach them, encourage them, empower them and none of them will ever remember! Does anyone else feel that they’ve done this in their lives?

OP posts:
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TheQueenOfWands · 09/11/2017 23:08

Only animals.

I do look after people but I'm paid to do it so not sure it counts.

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Sienna333 · 09/11/2017 23:10

I also worked with children and now at a homeless shelter so I hope I have. One other instance was when I saw a young woman with a baby at the bus shelter. The baby was screaming and the woman was crying. I asked her if she was ok and if I could do anything and she just kept crying and said there wasn't. I then gave her a hug and told her it would all be ok. I don't know if she thought I was just a weirdo but I like to think she will always remember a stranger who cared.

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Crumbs1 · 09/11/2017 23:11

I can’t believe there’s are many people who don’t regularly help or give to others with no consideration of benefit to themselves. Altruism is alive and well.

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Redcrayons · 09/11/2017 23:12

I gave someone in the queue in front of me some change when they didn't have enough money. Not much of a sacrifice on my behalf though. I suppose the quote means something big.

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JoyceDivision · 09/11/2017 23:15

I'd guess it's an act of selflessness, that's probably not something as an act of employment.

I gave so much of my baby items to a friend who was struggling, cotbed, mattress, car seats, pram, clothes, high chair etc and we're not well off.

Now she's in a much betterposition, and I'm pleased for her. It's never been acknowledged other than saying thanks at point of dropping stuff off.

I find some personality traits / digs at me shitty,but that's her chatacter and that's life...

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Sirrah · 09/11/2017 23:22

Somebody did this for me, many years ago. We were going through a really tough time, DH was made redundant a few weeks before Christmas when the company went bust. He was owed money, couldn't get benefits for several weeks, and we had three young children. I bumped into another mum from school when I was out, and cried about the mess we were in.

Later that day an envelope was put through our door with £20 and an anonymous note... I saw her running back to her car, although she obviously didn't want me to know it was off her. I cried for hours, I was so overwhelmed by her kindness.

I'm still not rich, but I help others when I can and never expect anything in return, it genuinely feels good to be able to help.

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Justbookedasummmerholiday · 09/11/2017 23:25

Regularly buy food /hot drinks for homeless people.
Always the one to take in a lost cat /dog and find the owner.

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MollyWantsACracker · 09/11/2017 23:28

Midge (op) those children will remember. I was one once, and I remember the ones that went the extra mile, 40 odd years later

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ShimmerAndShite · 09/11/2017 23:33

I was waiting to be served at customer services in asda once and there was an old lady there who needed to return some shopping as she had realised that she didn't have enough money for her taxi home so I gave her what she needed. It was only £5 but it felt great to help.

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Sienna333 · 09/11/2017 23:34

Oh yes, always buy food and drink for homeless people too

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Theresnonamesleft · 09/11/2017 23:52

One night about 2 in the morning, it was freezing, I saw an homeless guy and bought him a hot drink. It was all I could get him.

I have helped friends out when they have needed it - cash, food, a bed to stay when homeless etc.

In the supermarket I have given the person in front a bit extra so they didn't have to put things back. I remember being that person and the humiliation I felt as the queue grew waiting for me to return things.

Helped people carry things upstairs

And much much more.
Although I help children on a daily I don't include that, simply because I do get paid back. Not in the financial sense from them. But the times they say thanks. The smile. The sincerity from them when you have been absent. The appreciation from the parents. And of course, I am paid, albeit not from them.

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oldlaundbooth · 09/11/2017 23:57

I don't do enough that's for sure.

I bought a homeless lady breakfast from a
cafe on Christmas Eve morning once - and the look of intense gratitude on her face when I gave it to her made me feel even guiltier about not doing more. I felt like bringing her home!

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willyougotobed · 10/11/2017 00:01

I've given small amounts to a person who'd had a house fire, someone who had a really awful illness and wanted to try treatment abroad. All sorts of things really. I like there to be some connection - not necessarily a friend, but someone from school, work or the neighbourhood. It does make you feel good I think to help, if only in a tiny way.

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DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 10/11/2017 00:01

Everyone has, havent they?

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BadLad · 10/11/2017 00:01

I work with children so I guess I kind of do that everyday. Teach them, encourage them, empower them and none of them will ever remember! Does anyone else feel that they’ve done this in their lives?

I don't know exactly what you do, but if you are a teacher, I am surprised you are saying that none of them will ever remember. I have memories, good and bad, of loads of my teachers - I assumed most adults do. If you spend less time with each child, say, only a few hours counseling, then I suppose they won't remember you personally, although they might remember the impact you've had on their life.

If you are being paid for it, though, I don't think that's what was really meant by "you haven’t lived until you’ve done something for someone who can never pay you back”. That to me implies doing something for no reward, remuneration, or whatever. The other examples in the thread, like paying it forward at the supermarket, are what I read the quote to be driving at, rather than just choosing worthwhile employment.

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ReasonableLlama · 10/11/2017 00:03

My whole job is about helping people but not in a traditional sense.

I suspect I’ve helped hundreds if not thousands of people in a small way. They may not remember me, I might not know or remember them, and I’ll never get paid back although a few people will thank me.

Cryptic

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BackforGood · 10/11/2017 00:04

Unless you are looking for BIG things, then the answer is yes, of course. All the time.

Things like giving lifts to people ~ I tend to give lifts to people who need them, so, by the very nature, that tends to be people who aren't in a position to give you a lift back.

Then there's the tiny little gestures you make to strangers - maybe letting someone in front of you when they only have one item in a queue at the supermarket.

I guess all charity giving.

I'd also say all volunteering

Then things you do to help out a neighbour, or to babysit for someone who needs a helping hand.

Passing on 'hand-me-down' etc. Giving things away on Freecycle.

All this sort of stuff I've also been on the receiving end of too though - it's just how the world goes round in my world.

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GrimDamnFanjo · 10/11/2017 00:07

I was once queueing in the supermarket checkout behind a pensioner. She had chosen a magazine, it was about pets iirc and she hadn't enough money for that and her food. I gave her the difference. It's always stayed with me.

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ohamIreally · 10/11/2017 00:08

Yes, of course.

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DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 10/11/2017 00:14

Not wishing to bring the thread down because im sure lots of people can and will reply.

I gave CPR one christmas morning to a young guy that i knew wouldn’t survive (it was obvious) but i did it for his hysterical girlfriend whilst we waited for an ambo to arrive. They had a car accident that i witnessed and was first on scene to dial 999 and follow through with their advice.

He didn’t survive but I hope she saw I tried and my dear Nan scolded me for being late picking her up to come to our house for Christmas.

That was surreal and approx 20 odd years ago, I’ll never forget it.

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RoderickRules · 10/11/2017 00:24

Years ago, when I was broke, Argos delivered my presents to the wrong address.
A friend gave me £50 to replace them. She asked me to ‘pay it on’ at the right time.
When another friend went through a period of unemployment I gave it to her.
She tells me that she has paid it on since.

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makingmiracles · 10/11/2017 00:31

I carried a baby for someone unable to conceive or carry themselves Halo

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Tinklebinkle · 10/11/2017 00:43

Wow. I was going to talk about buying a sandwich and other groceries for a street dwelling bloke, but I think making miracles has nailed it. Grin

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BadLad · 10/11/2017 00:52

I carried a baby for someone unable to conceive or carry themselves

Was that someone your DP / DH?

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makingmiracles · 10/11/2017 01:41

No Baby wasn’t dps either! Was for some friends of mine

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