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Who was right?

(84 Posts)
MrsG841 Thu 09-Nov-17 22:40:59

Dd has come to me twice now to say she has seen a ghost (2 years old)

Tonight she said she saw a boy...i was calmly explaining to her that ghosts cannot hurt you and maybe he wa ted to be your friend.

Dad walks in and says ghosts are not real.

He doesnt believe in this kind of thing whereas i do (i have never spoken to Dd about ghosts)

AIBU to think it is better to teach her they wont harm her rather than dismissing her belief

TheQueenOfWands Thu 09-Nov-17 22:44:34

You were.

I'm currently in a building riddled with ghosts. Send him over for a quick lesson.

Xeneth88 Thu 09-Nov-17 22:44:35

He is.

SleepingStandingUp Thu 09-Nov-17 22:46:29

You were.

If she can or if she thinks she can see something, it doesn't matter. What matters is her feeling safe and not just being dosmissed

Ttbb Thu 09-Nov-17 22:46:29

Neither of you. Replace the word ghost with god. No different. You believe in them, he doesn't. No one can be sure so what difference does it make what you tell her?

MrsG841 Thu 09-Nov-17 22:49:04

Surely if she is genuinely seeing something but being told its not real would frighten her more than saying they would not harm her

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome Thu 09-Nov-17 22:59:23

Ghost is an unusual word for a 2 yr old to use unprompted. Has anyone been reading her stories or talking about ghosts recently (Halloween etc), possibly at Nursery? I would have thought that such a young child would merely saw that they had seen "a boy"

LaurieFairyCake Thu 09-Nov-17 23:10:46

You were in the right

MrsG841 Thu 09-Nov-17 23:16:35

someday i have no idea where she got it from...last night she just said ghost and tonight she said ghost so i asked what ghost and said a boy

malmi Thu 09-Nov-17 23:45:08

You're both right. Ghosts aren't real and they can't hurt you.

DorisDangleberry Thu 09-Nov-17 23:48:23

There is no such thing as ghosts. It is appalling to even contemplate telling a child that they exist

Julie8008 Fri 10-Nov-17 00:06:40

YABU If you say they can't hurt you you are confirming her fear that they are real and some dodgy spirit is in her bedroom doing who knows what.

Her dad has the right approach of telling her they don't exist. Eventually she will get over this phase, unless some adult is filling her head with stories.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Fri 10-Nov-17 00:11:00

I agree with Doris and Julie. Ghosts don’t exist, it’s your imagination, or like dreaming when you’re awake if that’s more understandable for her.

There’s nothing there so it can’t hurt you.

ZacharyQuack Fri 10-Nov-17 00:39:32

The poster that said replace "ghost" with "god" is right. People believe what they choose to believe and you can't tell them they are right or wrong.

(though he's right)

Phosphorus Fri 10-Nov-17 00:50:11

If she is genuinely seeing something, she needs to see a doctor. confused

Ghosts are not real, and she really needs that made clear at 2.

Motoko Fri 10-Nov-17 01:12:32

A few days after my dad died, DS (who was 12) had been playing in his (son's) bedroom, when he came running down the stairs and into the living room.
DS: Have you just seen Grandad?
Me: Er, no. Why?
DS: I've just seen him in my room. He was trying to say something and he reached out for me, but then he just went 'poof' and disappeared!

When I was little, I often told mum and dad about the little boy called Peter who lived in my bedroom. The first time was when I woke them up and asked them to get Peter a glass of water. They thought I'd been dreaming and asked if I'd 'seen him in my eyes' which was what I called dreaming, but I said no.
We often played together.
They thought it was an imaginary friend, until after we moved out. The house was converted into two flats, and my parents knew the lady who moved into one of them.
She asked if we'd ever had anything weird happen there, as she kept hearing noises and things would get moved or disappear. Then one day, she came home after going out, to find everything from the mantelpiece on the floor, as if someone had just swept it all off. Nobody else had been in her flat, and she didn't have any animals.

I'm open minded. I don't think either you or DH were wrong as you both have different beliefs, so were each speaking from that mindset.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 10-Nov-17 01:14:44 I think this study might be relevant.

celticmissey Fri 10-Nov-17 01:59:02

You shouldn't dismiss what she is saying as no one else was there - whether you are a believer in ghosts or not. Children are said to be very open communicators with the other side. Dismissing what she has seen when you don't know what she has seen may be harmful in itself because she will think you don't believe her and may not tell you anything else. You have the right approach- if she mentions it again just ask a few questions. If she is not afraid of whatever it is she has seen then that's a good thing. If she is frightened then a different approach may be needed.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Fri 10-Nov-17 10:39:30

@celticmissey I’ve never heard of a child not wanting to confide in their parents because they didn’t indulge their ghost stories as a toddler. Don’t be silly.

Two year olds are TWO. They get upset about all sorts of odd things, you wouldn’t try and explain what’s going on if she said her favourite teddy had been mean to her because you know that’s not possible. Why do it with this?

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea Fri 10-Nov-17 10:42:03

Dad was right, of course. Ghosts are not real and its appalling to encourage a small child to think they are. Your job is to make them feel safe and secure, not indulge and reinforce their fears.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea Fri 10-Nov-17 10:42:59

Ghost is an unusual word for a 2 yr old to use unprompted

Not right after Halloween it isn't!

grobagsforever Fri 10-Nov-17 10:42:58

@ZacharyQuack of course you can tell ppl they are wrong if their beliefs are in fact, wrong and that can be demonstrated by a complete absence of empirical evidence e.g ghosts and God.

DH is right OP

Sarahjconnor Fri 10-Nov-17 10:44:35

Read Mary Roachs brilliant book "6 feet over" it explains the different situations that cause us to see/hear/feel ghosts and gives really clear explainations. It's funny and brilliantly researched. I read it and definitely don't believe in ghosts, but I accept that we do see them, for a variety of reasons.

PinkHeart5914 Fri 10-Nov-17 10:46:11

Dad was right. Ghosts are not real so they can not hurt you

I would not tell my 2 year old the ghost maybe wanted to be their friend as I think that is more scary if your 2! confused

Mumsiemummy1 Fri 10-Nov-17 10:47:13

You were right imo

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