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Love my child but hate their behaviour

(21 Posts)
Marypoppins19 Thu 09-Nov-17 22:13:29

Finding it so tough at the moment.

PumpkinPie2016 Thu 09-Nov-17 22:15:28

What age are they? What is it they are doing?

Kids can certainly be hard work at times. I have a four year old boy and he is so full on it's exhausting.

winecake for you.

ferriswheel Thu 09-Nov-17 22:18:31

I am a single parent with a 2, 3 and 4 year old. Does that make you feel a bit better?wink

ferriswheel Thu 09-Nov-17 22:18:32

I am a single parent with a 2, 3 and 4 year old. Does that make you feel a bit better?wink

Marypoppins19 Thu 09-Nov-17 22:20:54

Glad to not be alone.
10 year old - rude, grumpy, not making an effort with friends, generally not being the sort of person you'd like to be around

Allthewaves Thu 09-Nov-17 23:11:48

omg it's the age. My lovely boy has turned 9 and is stroppy, moody, and yes bloody rude.

Sirrah Thu 09-Nov-17 23:13:04

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

NancyDonahue Thu 09-Nov-17 23:21:31

They can be very up and down at 10. Hormone surges combined with friendship problems, peer pressure, increased school work, worrying about leaving Primary, pushing boundaries etc. It's not the easiest time.

Love bombing can help. Make lots of plans so they have things to look forward too. Have some spontaneous fun - sometimes you can distract them before they descend into a full on mood.

Best of luck. You most certainly are not alone.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Thu 09-Nov-17 23:28:11

Op have you told her? When my dd is particularly horrible she has a few early nights and I tell her it's because I don't want extra time in her company right now!

TickedOff Thu 09-Nov-17 23:34:01

Ds only just turned 11 so can definitely relate.

Have lots of eye rolling atm, huffing, pushing boundaries.

Love bombing, might have to give this a try.

Marypoppins19 Thu 09-Nov-17 23:36:34

Thank you for some lovely advice.
It's been like this for years though confused

Wolfiefan Thu 09-Nov-17 23:36:52

Ignore what doesn't matter.
Issue consequences consistently for unacceptable behaviour.
Make sure they know what you won't tolerate.
Praise the good stuff.
Model good behaviour.
And gin helps.

Marypoppins19 Thu 09-Nov-17 23:59:27

Thank you
It's really hard have a happy go lucky angel and a miserable negative child. Both dearly loved but one is really getting us down

Wolfiefan Fri 10-Nov-17 00:05:10

No child is an angel.
It's not the child that's difficult. It's the behaviour.
Try and stay calm and in control. I know it's hard but it does help.

Worldsworstcook Fri 10-Nov-17 00:28:26

Coincidentally I had a similar conversation today with a mum of two girls. One is princess perfect, can do no wrong sweetness and light and the other sounds very like your grumpy daughter. Mum said she is aware princess perfect is a thorn in the side of grumps, and that their attitude to grumps and how they behave towards her is completely different to PP which is bound to leading to resentment, sulking and antisocial behaviour etc. Have you tried setting aside some one to one time? Really getting to know her and maybe you'd find a reason for her behaviour. A child who acts this way is not a happy child, I'd be trying very hard to find out way and to show her that even inspite of her prickly ways she's very much loved and adored.

Worldsworstcook Fri 10-Nov-17 00:38:14

It's also a very difficult age where they become aware of others around them, their shape, hair, clothes, media pressures and popularity. Praise is a wonderful thing, kids soak it up like a sponge. I remember when my dd was 11, she hated everything about herself, curly hair, boobs, chubby figure, even her name. With praise and patience it will pass. Lots of compliments! Invite her friends out and try and keep her as socially active as she can. With school and hormones, she will be heading for some big changes

Marypoppins19 Fri 10-Nov-17 00:40:32

This is the frustrating thing. If anything we give more time and attention to our struggling DC. We are always analysing if our second DC is missing out but because they are so happy and tolerant we don't change our ways. This seems crazy that we are almost rewarding negative behaviour

Marypoppins19 Fri 10-Nov-17 00:42:16

Whilst DC is always at clubs and activities they still can't seem to form meaningful and special friendships sad

RemainOptimistic Fri 10-Nov-17 01:53:14

Are friendships required?

Have you read about extroversion/introversion at all?

Nothing wrong with having few friends. Heaps of MN threads about it.

ohlittlepea Fri 10-Nov-17 01:55:20

the bool sibilings without rivalry has lots about helping not cast children in roles, ive found it helpful xxx

ferriswheel Fri 10-Nov-17 14:35:59

Have you ever given yourself a day off?

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