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To lack ambition.

(21 Posts)
1DAD2KIDS Thu 09-Nov-17 20:03:33

I was out for dinner with a mate and some of his old London friends the other week (first time I have met them). We were chatting about carers and what we do. I explained my job. One lady asked me where do I see my self in the next 5 years career wise? I said same place I am now and for the next 27 years until I hit the industry retirement age and bag my final salary pension. In my line of work there is no where up from my current potion anyway. She was clearly not impressed.

But why do I need to be a go getter? I don't want the earth. Call me Mr Unambitious in my goals but I have got where I want to be in life age 33. I'm not a millionaire but I earn an income that means me and the kids never have to worry about cash (as long as I avoid the trapping of a champagne lifestyle). I have a very secure Job. I have two properties, one I let and the other our home is everything I want in a house. I live 2 miles away from my work, makes life so much easier. I enjoy what I do. A good pension in the job I do plus a small Armed Forces pension when I retire. I have worked my nuts off in my 20s for my family (and wife at the time), and made a smart move landing the job I did and relocating. This was ambitious in its self one could argue, I beat of over 2000 initial applicants. I know I'm in my 30's but what's wrong or negative about wanting to put your feet up career wise and ride it out for the next 27 years when you have what you want in life and a career that maintains it? Why should I stride for more? Has anyone else ever been given stick for being unambitious?

lostpurplehoodie Thu 09-Nov-17 20:16:52

Meh, I think ambition is something for your 20s when you haven’t realised that enough money to not worry about paying bills and time for yourself/a lack of stress has actual value. DH is a —good— few years older than you and is content to coast to retirement. We have a comfortable income and little stress, what more do we need? When we first married it looked like I would be a high flyer but I’ll health has put to that, so we’re less wealthy than we might have been, but fuckit we’re very content.

There’s a lot to be said for being happy with where you are and not constantly striving for what the next promotion etc will get you. YANBU.

MoonlightandMusic Thu 09-Nov-17 20:23:45

Doesn't sound as though you lack ambition, more that you've achieved every goal you set yourself career-wise, which not many people have by their 30's - so YABU (in terms of your thread title only wink).

museumum Thu 09-Nov-17 20:28:16

Will you had nearly not be bored out of your mind doing the same thing for 27 years? I know I would. I’m not mega ambitious but I do relish a new challenge every 7/8 year’s or so.

MissConductUS Thu 09-Nov-17 20:30:45

I think that being happy with what you have is a blessing and that the people who constantly hold themselves up to some unachievable standard are the ones who wind up chronically stressed and cranky.

Just out of curiosity, how long were you in the armed forces? In the US you need to serve for 20 years to qualify for a pension.

Oysterbabe Thu 09-Nov-17 20:32:00

I'm in exactly the same position and unashamed. My family are happy and comfortable and that's what's important to me. Work is just the thing that pays the bills, it's not who I am.

Autumnl3aves Fri 10-Nov-17 02:19:16

Life is not all about work. Work to pay for the bills and save some and spend some enjoying life outside work. Work hard, play hard.

ReasonableLlama Fri 10-Nov-17 02:47:53

Society needs people like you. Not everyone can and should be ambitious.

I like seeing people who think “I’ve come this far and I don’t need to go higher” it means you are happy in your job.

I’ve reached a point in my career where there’s no where left for me to go unless it’s into politics. I don’t understand politics nor am I professional enough to work in politics. I’ve reached my job 20 years early (I’m at least 20 years younger than the average member of staff).

Life is too short to worry about ambition if you haven’t got it. If you are happy and fulfilled in your job then you are doing better than those who also strive for the next thing.

TheKrakening3 Fri 10-Nov-17 03:46:08

Contentment is the best feeling in the world. So many people don’t realise this.

PrincessoftheSea Fri 10-Nov-17 04:13:33

I think ambitions can also be to have a good work/life balance and to feel happy in your job. Some people I know think of themselves as ambitous often moving jobs, but I see them as restless always thinking the grass is greener and never contented.

creepingbuttercupdrivesmemad Fri 10-Nov-17 04:14:11

You have enough money to live on and you're happy. What more do you need?

Pengggwn Fri 10-Nov-17 06:43:00

Sounds alright to me, if a little boring.

Undercoverbanana Fri 10-Nov-17 06:55:38

I am hugely ambitious. There are so many races I want to run, mountains I want to climb and treks I want to do all over the world. My bucket list is a mile long.

Work? Nah - couldn't give a shit. Lowest grade in my job. No responsibility or stress. I have no interest in power or self-promotion. I don't have property or anything like that.

I am ambitious for experiences and for places and people, mountains and sunsets, food and drink ......

Ambition means different things to different people.

Undercoverbanana Fri 10-Nov-17 07:03:43

Posted too early.

So no, you are not at all U. I'd be more interested in things you might want to achieve in your life which enrich your experience and outlook.

Vitalogy Fri 10-Nov-17 07:10:52

The person you were speaking with sounds like they base their self worth on work, pretty sad really. Contentment is something that many can't find, so important too.

Firenight Fri 10-Nov-17 07:13:24

It’s fine to be happy where you are. I constantly have this argument at work with an appraisal culture which currently expects everyone to be aiming for the top.

1DAD2KIDS Fri 10-Nov-17 07:20:21

museumum There is an aspect of that maybe when I talk to people in my job who have retired/are due to retire. Some have been doing it since they left education. But no one leaves, the job is too good. But it's a job that once you finnish at the end of the day you go home and switch off, it dosent chase you into your family time. The way I see it is work is not an important part of my life. I am just there to earn the money, its not my life. Time raising my kids and following my many interests is valuable. So who cares if it gets a bit boating, it's only 35 hrs/4 days of the week, a fare amount of holidays and pays me enough money to enjoy making the best of the rest of the time I'm not in work. Maybe I could find sometime more interesting for more hours And pay but no one ever went to the grace wishing they worked harder (I assume)?

MissConductUS yes a little forces pension, not the full one (that 22 years here for that). I did 11 years so it works out about £3500 per year plus a lump sum at 60 and 65. So it's a bit of extra spending money. Plus an excellent pension from work, state pension and possibly the rent from my other house (but if I am comfortable on the pensions I will give the house to the kids is my plan).

ReasonableLlama likewise I have no where to go upwards. The only thing I could do is work for another company. But that would be a 3 hr round commute v a 10-20 min round commute. Especially not ideal when your raising two young kids alone.

I have come a long way from the poor dyslexic kid off a council estate. There were teachers who said I would amount to nothing (I was a naughty boy at school, it never interest me). One used to call me a waister. To be fair I am proud of what have achive. I am a high earner, a solid financial future and the freedom it offers. I could push harder, work more for what? So I can sit in a leather seat of a band new Merc instead of the cloth seat of 09 Hondan (that I love). No thanks, it's not worth it, there is so much more to life.

BabsGangoush Fri 10-Nov-17 07:25:45

The only thing I would be concerned about is if things change over time and you are not in the right position to tackle them., like if your job become obsolete. I don't think you can coast for 27 years.

Work is evolving and I remember the primary head teacher saying our children will do jobs we can't even imagine at the time...and he was right on 18 years later.

As long as you are always one step ahead then carry on, but I would make sure my qualifications were always up to date etc

1DAD2KIDS Fri 10-Nov-17 08:10:52

Fair point. But I estimate at least 30 years before my job becomes obsolete. I was and electronics engineer in my previous military career. So I do keep that as a fall back and keep track of my mates who work for other companies in the that field. I doubt electronics engineers will become obsolete in the next 30 either so it is a good plan B. Also I try to well within my means and hope to pay the mortgages off quickly. So if it goes wrong I am covered but if it goes right I will just be even better off in my older years. It's why I chose not to waste money on fancy cars etc. If anything my ambition is to build a bomb proof safety net. We lost our home as a kid in the 90s recessesion. I think my child hood affects a lot of who I am

TweetTweetTweet Fri 10-Nov-17 08:20:34

There may still be a need for electronic engineers but it’s the ‘technology’ in 30yrs you need to be worried about. It’s evolving ever so rapidly you may find your skills obsolete. So keep on eye on training opportunities in that field if you want the plan B to remain viable.

Whiskeywithwater Fri 10-Nov-17 08:26:46

I'm jealous! Sounds bloody perfect to me. Think you've cracked life

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