Long time lurker, first time poster I hope I did the appropriate title and apologies in advance to any one this might upset. I will try and keep this as short and uncomplicated as possible.
I was sexually abused for 6 years by my uncle (married to my dads sister) I used to go there at least once a week or go to my grandmas house where he would also be. Most of my childhood is a huge blur, I remember the abuse with absolute clarity but not the details of years, times etc.
My uncle left (I suspect the country) when another one of his victims told her mum what was happening. My parents asked me if anything had happened to me and I said no. At around the same time they both fell out with my Grandma and it was like I didn’t exist anymore she refused to answer the phone to me, didn’t send me birthday or Xmas cards and never invited me over but was perfectly normal with my cousins. My parents said she was taking their fued out on me and I was better off without her.
When I was in secondary school I was suffering awful night terrors about him and confided in my head teacher, who I was very close to. He told my parents about it and I felt so much relief that they were aware but also felt incredibly guilty that I had lied to them when I was younger. They were devastated, it ruined their marriage and everything fell apart for them.
I moved across the country when I was 18 for uni and didn’t go back, I hate going back but I do often to visit my parents. On a recent visit I discovered that when I was 4 I told them what was happening to me. They were very young when they had me, 15 (relevant). They confided in my grandma before going to the police but she ‘convinced’ them I was lying. It didn’t occur to them that a 4 year old would be hard pressed to make up such a horrific claim. I told them it didn’t matter, they were only 19 and it must of been incredibly hard for them.
Now I am back home I keep looking at my DC and thinking that under no circumstances would I allow that to go on. I keep trying to reason with myself but I end up thinking awful things about my parents, I think I hate them. I am so close to them both but the thought of seeing them at Christmas is making me sick and angry.
Not really an AIBU but more of a what should I do? I can’t talk to my DH because I don’t want him to hate them too, I still suffer with night terrors so he is fully aware of how it has affected me. No one else knows about it.
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AIBU?
To feel so disappointed and angry at my parents **trigger warning, sexual abuse**
22 replies
User9576583 · 09/11/2017 19:01
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