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To think 7 is to young for sleepovers?

(101 Posts)
Henrythehoover Thu 09-Nov-17 09:40:55

Just that really. My youngest who's 7 goes round his friends now and again for dinner. Yesterday his dad approached me while I was picking him up from school he the boys dad came up to us and said "not this weekend but the next your son can come and stay Fri and Sat with is" obviously d's thought this was amazing and got all excited and before I could say anything the dad walked off. Aibu to think he's well to young for that. The only place he stays away from me is his dad's every other weekend and that's it. My oldest 12 only started sleepovers a couple of years ago and my middle son 9 has never been to one.

DunkMeInTomatoSoup Thu 09-Nov-17 09:41:59

Thats up to you. We all parent differently.

Personally, I dont think it's too young.

JennyOnAPlate Thu 09-Nov-17 09:42:56

My 7 year old has recently been on her first sleep over. If your ds wants to go what’s the problem?

oigetoffmycheese Thu 09-Nov-17 09:42:58

I think 7 is fine if you’re sure they’re safe and happy.

However if you don’t want to do something, saying no is always an option.

mustbemad17 Thu 09-Nov-17 09:43:02

My daughter is 5 & has been having sleepovers since she was about 4 🙈 Only with people I knew, obviously wouldn't just let her go stay round someone's if I didn't know the parents well enough. I'm guessing if you let him go round for tea & stuff then you're comfortable enough with him being there?

Yeeeha Thu 09-Nov-17 09:43:35

It’s not too young at all assuming you and he are both ok with it?

Why would 7 be too young for a sleepover?

inchyrablue Thu 09-Nov-17 09:47:28

All ours started at 7 (after the annual school sleepover) but never for two nights, only ever one. I actually wouldn't like two - that's more 'going for the weekend'.

MyDcAreMarvel Thu 09-Nov-17 09:50:46

Why would 7 be to young?

Seeline Thu 09-Nov-17 09:51:02

It depends on the child and the situation.
Both mine were going away for long weekends with Beavers/Brownies at that age and loved it.
However, my DD has just had her first sleepover at a friend's - aged 13.

Leeds2 Thu 09-Nov-17 09:52:51

My DD started sleepovers at 6/7. She and I were happy with it.

If you're not, then just say no. All children/parents are different, and what is right for one isn't necessarily right for another.

Pagwatch Thu 09-Nov-17 09:56:57

Totally depends on the child

Henrythehoover Thu 09-Nov-17 09:57:55

I think it's because I don't really know the parents very well apart from a quick hi in the playground. Plus I can't have them back to mine due to him sharing a room. Idk maybe I am just over protective.

tellitlikeitispls Thu 09-Nov-17 09:59:13

What everyone else said. My youngest is 7 and had his first sleepover at his best friends house last month. She is having a sleepover at ours next week for his birthday. They are so sweet right now. Its very exciting for them. It might become trickier later on with the boy/girl thing but whilst they are still oblivious to all that stuff I'm happy for them to stay over. I know and trust her parents.
If you are uncomfortable with it, then don't do it. Also I think two nights isn't a sleepover, its a small holiday. Maybe comprimise with one night.

DunkMeInTomatoSoup Thu 09-Nov-17 10:03:16

I'm iroically amused that you (a) dont know the parents very well (b) let him go round for dinner unaccompanied. What will happen at a sleep over that wont happen at the dinner table? Do people morph after dark or something?

I just think its really sad people do project their own insecurities onto children.

dangermouseisace Thu 09-Nov-17 10:03:25

I'd say one night. I don't think it's too young though...DD was 5, DS1 was also 5 when they went on their first sleepovers! But to start with it tends to be drop off around tea time, pick up in the morning in my experience, not a whole weekend!

AuntLydia Thu 09-Nov-17 10:05:03

Depends on the child but 2 nights at once seems a bit much! Perhaps suggest just the one night? Especially as you already have to share your weekends with him. My 7 year old recently had a sleepover and didn't sleep til 5am and then woke up at 7!!! So I won't be having them here for a while..

Justbookedasummmerholiday Thu 09-Nov-17 10:05:04

My dd slept at a BFF at 7 but not with a random family!!
But odd he said both nights. Sounds like it's so he doesn't have to worry about amusing his ds at the weekend!

MyDcAreMarvel Thu 09-Nov-17 10:05:26

If your dc share a room maybe they could " camp" in the lounge to reciprocate.

roundthehorn Thu 09-Nov-17 10:05:29

Really depends on the child and your relationship with the parents of sleepover kid. In this case, if your kid's up for it, I would say playdate on Saturday and if your kid is still keen then you can drop off PJs, toothbrush etc. and have a little catch up with the parents in the evening. No parent would think this weird for a 7 year old.

My kids are big now, but dd1 had to be picked up from a sleepover at 13 whilst dd3 was sleeping over with her bff from 5 years old

Dragongirl10 Thu 09-Nov-17 10:06:00

Personally l do think its too young, 90% of abuse is by someone a child knows....why take the risk, they have their whole lives ahead of them to stay at others homes? We always think it could never happen to OUR child in THAT persons house but it does.....
Also there is the more minor risk of unsupervised internet access etc.

I think its worth waiting until the child is old enough to know what to do in a situation they were uncomfortable in, and get themselves out of there...

My DD has started having very limited sleepovers now but she is almost 12 and quite capable of assesing a situation, knows how to call a cab and get home in an emergency if she couldn't get hold of me or her father immediately.

When l was a child l was allowed to stay at a schoolfriends house, my parents had known them all their lives, they lived in a neighbouring village..

.her father was a pervert who secretly abused her for years and l often had to dodge him...luckily l always managed to, BUT l had no idea of the danger l was in, thought he was just v odd.
I never told my parents, as a very naive 10 year old l would not have had the words to explain why exactly he was odd, and would have been embarrassed to say his trousers were often undone....

I have since told my now elderly parents and they are truly horrified, they still see my friend and she has gone public with the abuse...

Please, please don't risk it, unsafe men are everywhere in society and often it stays secret for many years.

megletthesecond Thu 09-Nov-17 10:08:35

Yanbu.

But I also knew sleepovers were happening in infant school. shock. I'm probably more neurotic than most due to DS's allergies, some parents don't get it.

Lethaldrizzle Thu 09-Nov-17 10:19:17

'90% of abuse is from someone known to the child' - yet 68% of abuse is from a family member! What happens then, remove the child from the family home? Abuse is still very rare and I refuse to live life thinking there are paedophiles behind every door. My kids have been doing sleep overs since 5 approx.

Henrythehoover Thu 09-Nov-17 10:19:57

I think maybe I'm unsure as sleepovers have never really been a thing when I was young and as I said my oldest didn't start till she was about 9/10. I'm new to being a single parent so maybe me finding it hard being away from them is part of this. The family seem nice but I am usually running between playgrounds when I see them. I may try and catch the dad today and just say one night as it's his first one.

FireCracker2 Thu 09-Nov-17 10:21:14

No absolutely normal at 7

PorklessPie Thu 09-Nov-17 10:26:53

As a pp said we all parent differently. For me it's too young.

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