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The weird things that non parents say...

(356 Posts)
Wiggles9408 Wed 08-Nov-17 22:26:09

Just a general one, no malice intended but what are your experiences of the things that people without children have said to you in regards to parenting?

My examples are as follows (all in one day): dd is 6mo I went into work for a KIT day and a few of my colleagues that don’t have children (in amongst genuine lovely questions about dd) said the following ‘Babies seem easy to me now I’ve got a rabbit..’ and ‘so what’s it like?’ My answer ‘harder than I’d imagined’ the response ‘oh really? I just imagined you watching Disney films all day with a baby!’
And my favourite one EVER ‘I’d love to be getting paid to do nothing all day but watch Jeremy Kyle!’
I know they probably weren’t meant to come across so ummmm belittling but in my head I did have a few brash come backs but didn’t say anything just laughed it off. so anyone else had comments made that left them a little hmmconfused

LemonysSnicket Wed 08-Nov-17 22:27:45

Im childless and think your co-workers sound thick.

furryelephant Wed 08-Nov-17 22:37:49

About 2 months after having my dd someone asked if I was back in the gym already confuseddespite knowing I was a completely lone parent of a breastfed baby. And was so anaemic that I could barely walk up the stairs without being out of breath hmm

londonrach Wed 08-Nov-17 22:41:26

Tbh prior to being a parent youve no idea what it entails and everyone has different experiences when they a parent anyway. The sleep thing is something you can never explain ever. Ever. If you get the sleep half the battle is won. I remember one patient (prior to dd) telling me how hard it was being a parent so i really expected it to be awful but its alot easy having a baby than i thought. Im grateful to him as i expected it to be worse than it was. Compared to work (clinical nhs) looking after one baby is easy. Really easy and alot more enjoyable. The smiles and laughs are better than any wage. The love though was a shock alot deeper than you can image.

WishingOnABar Wed 08-Nov-17 22:41:49

Whilst pregnant: “Well, at least pregnancy fat isn’t like normal fat” shock

PaperdollCartoon Wed 08-Nov-17 22:44:00

I don’t have kids and think your co-workers problem is being stupid, not being non-parents.

YouCantArgueWithStupid Wed 08-Nov-17 22:47:13

A friend is getting married and having a child free wedding DC2 will be 8 weeks old (IF arrives on EDD) & I suspect EBF like DC1.

Bride to be said: just give them DC1 2.5y and DC2 poss 8 weeks to your mum for the night!

Yeah...DH will be going alone grin

vichill Wed 08-Nov-17 22:47:34

I'll raise them gender neutral. Will ebf. Will never raise my voice. Flashcards at 18m will ensure they have a head start.
Lo and behold they were back to work at 3 months.

DoJo Wed 08-Nov-17 22:50:25

I took my son to a concert when he was quite little- his dad was performing so although the last on the door clearly wanted to ban him, she couldn't really. Before we went in, she made some pointed comments about how she wasn't keen on children and how he'd better not be too noisy.

As I had anticipated, he was fine and we didn't hear a peep out of him, and when we went out at the interval she said 'Well, he was very quiet wasn't he? I thought he must be dead!' while beaming at me as thought I should be thrilled to be on the receiving end of this 'compliment'.

WishingOnABar Wed 08-Nov-17 22:51:12

I think you may be right PaperdollCartoon, mine certainly had form for saying incredibly insensitive things to other team members.

Jakeyboy1 Wed 08-Nov-17 22:55:12

I was asked at a hen do -

- can I still "buy £100 pairs of shoes and stuff now you only work part time"
- "doesn't it like really ruin your body"

Ah the female solidarity!

Waddlingwanda Wed 08-Nov-17 22:57:51

I think it depends on what’s said to you as well though. All my friends went on and on about how hard having a second was, so it actually seemed quite easy in comparison to what they’d said.

For me it’s the comments from dog owners about it being the same.
‘Nope, not at all. Never do I leave my baby at home to go do the shopping!’

Aderyn17 Wed 08-Nov-17 22:58:38

My old uni tutor thought he was going to write a book while hid newborn slept peacefully beside his desk! Yeah, right. When my first child was a newborn, I remember pacing up and down, trying to get them to sleep - I thought I was going to die from tiredness!

Pre dc, I was a judgemental bitch who thought women doing the school run with no make up on were letting themselves go and that putting earrings in did not constitite sufficient effort! God, I was thick!

PastysPrincess Wed 08-Nov-17 22:58:52

I was talking to a childless colleague today who in all seriousness compares looking after her cat with looking after my DS. If I mention that I’m tired as DS had a bad night (he had been ill for the last 6 weeks and still doesn’t sleep well anyway) she will say “oh I know what you mean. I’m so EXHAUSTED because my cat woke me up for a fuss”

DayManChampionOfTheSun Wed 08-Nov-17 23:01:25

PastysPrincess

So only mothers are allowed to moan about being tired hmm

RoseWhiteTips Wed 08-Nov-17 23:05:26

PEOPLE get tired. You have no way of knowing what is going on in their lives so do not assume - or belittle.

RockinHippy Wed 08-Nov-17 23:05:47

Many times over, but the one that sticks in my mind was when DD was about 6 & delivered by a couple of good friends of ours almost by way of intervention 😏

Whilst stuffing their faces on Mac Donald’s burgers they had picked up on the way to meet us “ we are really worried about how you are feeding DD, I mean, with such a faddy diet, no wonder she is ill, if you are not careful you will kill her - DDs diet was exceptionally healthy, we just don’t eat meat that’s all, plenty of fish & non processed foods though confused she also has a couple of non diet related medical conditions

I would never wish it on anyone & we were initially worried for our friend, but DH & I couldn’t help a wry smile when one of the friends had a minor heart attach a couple of months later & was read the riot act by his doctors about his diet. They were both quite overweight due to poor diet then too

RoseWhiteTips Wed 08-Nov-17 23:06:13

I think actual MEN get tired, too, sometimes. Amazing.

Wiggles9408 Wed 08-Nov-17 23:06:59

Ahaha yeah it certainly wasn’t meant in a ‘if you don’t have kids this is you’ type thing it’s just everyone I work with is young and don’t have kids so I think they assume it’s a bit of a doss and don’t get quite how much It urban life upside down, but by no means am I tarring everyone with the same brush! Those examples are so funny though 😂

Ilovelampandchair Wed 08-Nov-17 23:07:07

I know it's a cliche but when childless people say they're so busy they're exhausted. Without children being busy is often true but it's self inflicted and self controlled. Having children being busy is totally out of control and not one thing after the next. It's 8 things at the same time with no ability to prioritise.

IHATEPeppaPig Wed 08-Nov-17 23:07:15

@DayManChampionOfTheSun no, I think she was hmm at the fact her colleague compared her cat waking up for a fuss the same as caring for a sick child all night. It isn’t the same at all.

PastysPrincess Wed 08-Nov-17 23:07:27

No, she is allowed to have a moan about being tired; I was just a bit agog that she compared being woken up once to the continual torture of sleep deprivation that comes with having a child that hates sleep and had been ill for the last 6 weeks.

heyjude12 Wed 08-Nov-17 23:07:33

DayManChampionOfTheSun

when did anyone say that only mothers are allowed to be tired?? Get a grip confused

Wiggles9408 Wed 08-Nov-17 23:07:36

* it turns.... not urban?!

MrsDoyleFallingOutTheWindow Wed 08-Nov-17 23:08:12

No but being a pet owner and being a parent are not remotely comparable. One of my kids has a chronic health problem that involves quite intensive treatment and looking after when it flares up including emergency hospital admissions. A guy at work tried to compare this to his fucking cat being ill. Some people are just stupid.

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