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Birthday Party Politics!

(26 Posts)
allyouneedisloveandcoffee Wed 08-Nov-17 20:04:37

Hello MN people!
This is more of a 'what's the party invite protocol?' than AIBU....
Last year I sent out invites to DD's party & everyone got back within a couple of days.
Numbers have doubled this year but they got distributed a week ago & over half haven't replied yet...
I need numbers for the venue and if people can't come there's still time to invite others in their place as venue expensive!
I always reply when DD is invited within a couple of days tops....
I'm walking past parents at the school pick up & all they have to do is say yes or no....
Starting to feel a bit frustrated about it.
Is it cool to just ask or are they waiting for a better offer or what? hmm

2014newme Wed 08-Nov-17 20:07:30

If you are walking past just ask them

TeenTimesTwo Wed 08-Nov-17 20:09:18

Did you ask to rsvp and if so has the rsvp date gone yet?

PumpkinPie2016 Wed 08-Nov-17 20:12:34

I feel your pain! I sent out invites the other week for my son's birthday and still have about 5 who haven't bothered replying.

I put my number on for RSVP so they only need to send a quick text. I don't see them either so can't ask but it's really frustrating!

I honestly don't know why people do this, imo it's very rude!

kaytee87 Wed 08-Nov-17 20:24:36

What date did you give for rsvp?

allyouneedisloveandcoffee Wed 08-Nov-17 21:23:45

No RSVP deadline given (is that a thing?)

allyouneedisloveandcoffee Wed 08-Nov-17 21:27:15

Just a mobile number.... Next to the RSVP bit....

illuminousopptomist Wed 08-Nov-17 21:27:25

Lost invites. Put aside and then forgot to reply. Trouble at home or busy life and haven't emptied book bag yet.

Just ask them OP. I have forgotten before and really appreciated the nudge.

TeenTimesTwo Wed 08-Nov-17 21:27:33

There you go then grin

Always say 'Please reply by XXXX' optionally adding
'as the venue need numbers'
or if you are hardcore
'no reply = no partybag

By giving a date, you are giving yourself the ability to chase after that date without feeling/appearing rude.'

MinervaSaidThar Wed 08-Nov-17 21:27:47

No RSVP deadline given (is that a thing?)

grin 😂

allyouneedisloveandcoffee Wed 08-Nov-17 21:30:00

Is it a thing though?
For a kids party? Clearly!

ForgetMeNotCat Wed 08-Nov-17 21:35:09

I always chased up.

TeenTimesTwo Wed 08-Nov-17 21:43:43

Yes, it is an essential thing.

Other things you need to know (as you sound like a very nice novice):
- people will drop and run if you want them to stay
- people will stay when you want them to drop and run
- people will bring siblings without asking
- people who bring siblings without asking may also expect them to join in the activities, share the tea, and be given a party bag

SeaToSki Wed 08-Nov-17 21:44:27

I always do online invitations, that way you can set it to do rsvp reminders automatically.

allyouneedisloveandcoffee Wed 08-Nov-17 21:50:26

Teen times 😂

allyouneedisloveandcoffee Wed 08-Nov-17 21:56:20

Pumpkinpie I totally agree!
It's so rude!
Although I do understand people are busy but the people who replied immediately are the ones who are single parents/possibly more busy than others.....

Movingon1611 Wed 08-Nov-17 22:07:22

Having a similar issue myself- invites were given out before half term for a party next week, rsvp date for last Friday- need to pay for the party tomorrow
Had to re write 50% of the invites last week as they’d been lost, despite being given to parents in the first place and still haven’t heard from 3 of the 12 invited

Find it so so rude

illuminousopptomist Wed 08-Nov-17 22:08:35

I'm not that busy just disorganised. I put a invite on the side, it then gets a pile of stuff put on top of it and I find it after Christmas when I get a burst of energy! grin

illuminousopptomist Wed 08-Nov-17 22:10:05

I forgot my own birthday too!

Fidoandacupoftea Wed 08-Nov-17 22:26:28

Completely agree. Those who say they are busy, believe me everyone is busy. Just say yes or no. At least after reminders. Deep breath

FlouncyDoves Wed 08-Nov-17 22:34:43

Why wouldn’t you just ask them?

PumpkinSquash Wed 08-Nov-17 23:46:54

Argh, I used to hate people who don't RSVP, it is so so rude and when the venue needs numbers and you've no idea if some are coming or not,what are you supposed to do?!
Definitely ask in the playground when you see them. That's what I do.
It's worse when you've got a birthday in the middle of the summer holidays and you've no way of chasing them up - it was a guessing game half the time whether anyone would turn up or not!

kaytee87 Thu 09-Nov-17 07:29:13

No RSVP deadline given (is that a thing?)

You should always give a date, then when the date has passed you can chase. If you don’t give a date they might just think a text the day before is enough.

2014newme Thu 09-Nov-17 07:36:06

In 10 years of kids parties I've never had anyone who hasn't Rsvp

mrsnec Thu 09-Nov-17 07:43:11

I organised a party for dd and I put Rsvp deadlines. I got 1 response but most people turned up. I was told its the norm now.

Lots of people told me they were too busy to reply and I couldn't get my head around that!

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