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Telling off other people kids. Would you?

(46 Posts)
Sneakynamechange1 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:35:03

Juat that really. I did today and wondering if Aibu.
I go to a playgroup every week with my 3 year old DT's. There are 2 little girls there who are slightly older. I reckon 4. Basically they are little brats. (and I know that's a mean thing to say about kids but it's true)
For example every week we do sleeping bunnies but it's in a small space and they both spread themselves out as much as they can so that some of the other kids can't fit. Each week there are a bunch of ride on toys and bikes and 2 scooters. The scooters seem to be the thing that all the kids want and these girls hog them the whole time. I've often seen other little kids (including but not only mine) asking if they can have a go but the girls just say 'no its mine' which it obviously isn't. Anyway recently theyve been taking it to another level where they actually aren't even playing on the scooters but put them next to themselves and if another kid comes along they shout at that kid and hold onto the scooter. Their mums just ignore it.
We'll today I'd had enough. My Ds had asked politely and been shouted out (they weren't using it at the time just keeping it for themselves for later) so I went over and said since you're not actually using that can he have a turn please. They ignored me. So I said the toys are for everyone to share. Please let someone else have a turn. The mum got all arsey with me about it.
I know I'm not wrong on thinking they should share but is it wrong to call them out on it?

TrojansAreSmegheads Wed 08-Nov-17 19:35:55

no.

Notreallyarsed Wed 08-Nov-17 19:36:05

Nope, not unreasonable at all. I’ve done it before. I’d be mortified if my child was behaving in such a way that someone else had to step in because I wasn’t!

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 08-Nov-17 19:36:36

I think what you did was fine.

Pengggwn Wed 08-Nov-17 19:37:25

No, that's fair enough. People shouldn't let their kids hog stuff and generally behave like brats.

mustbemad17 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:38:14

Nothing wrong at all. Hate it when kids act like this & the parents don't deal with it. Bet said parents would have reacted had one of the other kids got arsey & nicked it 😂

MummySparkle Wed 08-Nov-17 19:41:47

yanbu - I do it all of the time in that situation

ladyvimes Wed 08-Nov-17 19:41:49

I’m a teacher and I find my teacher voice comes in very useful at times, particularly soft play (which is my idea of hell but my dc’s love it). I am quite assertive though so am not phased by stroppy parents.

KennDodd Wed 08-Nov-17 19:42:51

A stranger told my little boy off in the supermarket the other day. I hadn't seen what he was doing. I thanked them for telling him off. I think people who get angry about this aren't doing their kids any favours at all.

selly24 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:45:40

You were 100% correct OP. If there were more people willing to correct other children we'd have fewer brats!
To 'soften the blow' you could first speak to the parent and say 'Oh Hi there, My DC would love a turn on the scooter, we will give it back to your DC in 5 mins hope that's ok'
IME these arsey parents usually soften considerably if you are gentle and kind.
They are often struggling with some v challenging behaviour from their DCs and are so used to getting moaned at by other parents, they've kind of given up on discipline....but a bit of understanding and modelling with your own kids goes along way...

BernardBlacksHangover Wed 08-Nov-17 19:49:43

Yanbu. I’d have said the same and have done similar; always with a smile and a pleasant tone though, if they’re little children. I’ve never had a bad response from parents. I expect you were unlucky to have met the parents you did.

FatRedCrayon Wed 08-Nov-17 19:49:58

I think I’d have done the same, and if the parent was within earshot tried to involve them too, most parents I’ve come across are happy to help mediate.

I’ve told off children who snatch or bully, I’d hope people do the same to mine. It’s a matter of being gently firm, no parent can watch their own kid 100% especially if they have multiple children.

KurriKurri Wed 08-Nov-17 19:57:28

I have done it in the past when my children were younger (also used to teach so used teacher voice grin)
One child used to rush to get a particular ride on toy at a toddler club we went to, and then proceed to hog it for the whole session - dragging it around with him when he wasn;t riding it. My DS waited for ages one day asking if he could have a go and was told no. So I took it away and said 'DS would like a go now, you've had it a long time', and the parent looked at me outraged and said 'But it's Merlin's favourite - he always plays with the red trike'.

So it was pretty obvious where Merlin got his whole 'don't ever share stuff' attitude from.

You can tell other kids off - and I think it is fine to do so, but you probably won't change the way they behave because their parents think it is OK.

SnugglySnerd Wed 08-Nov-17 20:01:58

That sounds fine.I bollocked a bunch of teenagers who were being a nuisance on a bus once. They kept pushing each other off the bus when it stopped and I was actually worried someone would be killed. To be fair I am a secondary teacher so I am well used to teenagers but was surprised when they all went and sat down quietly! Some of the other passengers applauded me!

Crumbs1 Wed 08-Nov-17 20:05:55

Takes a village to raise a child. It’s a pity more adults don’t feel comfortable intervening when children are being unpleasant.

isadoradancing123 Wed 08-Nov-17 20:07:03

Of course you were right

catboygeckoandowlett Wed 08-Nov-17 22:11:34

Not unreasonable! I tell other peoples kids off all the time!!! wink

FlouncyDoves Wed 08-Nov-17 22:44:25

Merlin? That kid’s got bigger issues.

Aeroflotgirl Wed 08-Nov-17 22:46:57

No you should have done that earlier. It's not tge kids fault, their mum can't be bothered. It takes a village and all that!

littlebillie Wed 08-Nov-17 22:49:33

It takes a village

KurriKurri Thu 09-Nov-17 12:18:58

Flouncy - there was a small spate of Merlins where I lived at the time (about 25 years ago so they will all be adult wizards now grin) they all thought they'd picked a very original name - but actually Merlins were ten a penny grin The car hogger Merlin is probably a model citizen now and happily carpooling (or maybe not !)

PinkHeart5914 Thu 09-Nov-17 12:21:14

If they were doing something dangerous, yes
If they were doing something mean to my child, yes

Some parents just don’t care and if you don’t say anything to the child, then they just carry on.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Thu 09-Nov-17 12:25:02

When my dc were younger and went to toddler groups one actually had a form to sign which agreed to share tea making /clearing up and that 'telling off' in an appropriate manner was part of their 'rules'. Was quite taken aback at first but actually was a great idea!!

Ttbb Thu 09-Nov-17 12:29:11

Only if there is a risk of immenent danger.

SomethingNewToday Thu 09-Nov-17 12:32:32

Yes I have and do often. Most people don't seem to want to say a word to others kids though.

Specifically at soft play and baby groups - I often find I'm the only one willing to kick older kids out of baby and toddler areas or tell them to put the baby toys down and so on. I've never been approached by another parent though or had any issues.

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