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Or is this incestuous/perverse?

(181 Posts)
RoderickRules Wed 08-Nov-17 19:10:42

Man-57
Woman-40

Woman was a child that man knew. Man was an adult. A married man whose wife is related to this child, something like neice. Later, wife is now ex wife, her father dies, Man bumps into this now adult female at ex wife’s fathers funeral (where man is in attendance supporting his 35/33 year old daughters.) now adult female and man decide they would like to persue a sexual relationship.

AIBU to think this is incestuous and perverse?

EverythingEverywhere1234 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:11:57

I have had a long day... but this honestly makes no sense.

Stressalot42 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:12:26

Yabu

Totally!

And quite ridiculous.

Andrewofgg Wed 08-Nov-17 19:13:01

Not incestuous and not perverse. Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable does not make it so. As you say, now adults.

nevereverever83 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:13:04

not incestuous. might be odd but depends how close the man and the woman were during her childhood. I suspect not actually close.

RavingRoo Wed 08-Nov-17 19:13:15

It’s not incest as the man isn’t related to the woman. It’s not perverse because the woman didn’t grow up with the man, they bumped into each other as adults.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Wed 08-Nov-17 19:13:49

Sounds like they're related by marriage only so I don't think there's anything wrong tbh.

Fruitcocktail6 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:14:20

confused

So, man's ex wife is this woman's aunt?

So he would be her uncle by marriage but isn't because he's divorced?

Pollydonia Wed 08-Nov-17 19:14:20

It's not incest unless they are blood relations. Perverse is a strong word. Age gap - meh.
It obviously makes someone feel uncomfortable hence your post ?

Alanna1 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:14:42

So a man is dating if not his neice-by-his (ex) marriage, his ex’s first or second cousin once removed. When they are both in their 40s and 50s. I don’t see the issue.

Phosphorus Wed 08-Nov-17 19:14:46

It is neither incestuous, nor perverse.

Do you just love drama or something?

MaidOfStars Wed 08-Nov-17 19:15:15

YABU.

IIRC, the only time a once-in-law relationship is banned (legally) is if one has been a legal guardian of the other at any time in their lives?

FGSholdthedoor Wed 08-Nov-17 19:15:29

Incestuous? Please.

And it's hardly like they were dating or doing anything when she was underage. She's 40 FFS.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:15:40

I think yabu. They remet when she was an adult. It puts a different slant on it.

ludothedog Wed 08-Nov-17 19:15:59

I understand why this would seem strange. As there is no blood relation then I guess they are not doing anything wrong but perhaps morally. You say that the relationship is like niece/uncle? I guess it depends really how close they were when she was growing up. I know that there were some uncles I hardly saw.

Anyway, they are adults, there is no blood relation so I guess they are doing nothing wrong. I understand why family, especially the ex-wife would feel strange though.

AlternativeTentacle Wed 08-Nov-17 19:16:06

I can't say i'd be too fucking chuffed if my partner started having sex with my niece. Ever.

VacantExpression Wed 08-Nov-17 19:16:07

Only thing slightly odd about it would be the atmosphere at big family gatherings if current DP and EXW are close enough rellies to be at them, but IMO its these things that make them more memorable so I'm all for it TBH.

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain Wed 08-Nov-17 19:16:18

Doesn't seem either to me unless I'm missing something confused.

PurpleDaisies Wed 08-Nov-17 19:16:22

Who are you in this situation?

Mumbun Wed 08-Nov-17 19:16:49

It's neither - but probably a little hard on the ex wife

JustaBasicBitch Wed 08-Nov-17 19:17:23

I'm guessing your the ex wife?

Battleax Wed 08-Nov-17 19:17:36

Where are you in this? It might explain your discomfort?

maddiemookins16mum Wed 08-Nov-17 19:18:16

So basically when the man was say in his 20's, the female was a little girl.
Point One - she is now an adult (approaching middle age actually) so not illegal.
They were not blood relatives.
The bloke in question is now divorced.

What's the problem, are you his ex wife?

CherryChasingDotMuncher Wed 08-Nov-17 19:18:25

So at some point this girl was his niece?

Not incestuous but definitely creepy AF.

ILoveMillhousesDad Wed 08-Nov-17 19:19:18

Not seeing the problem sorry.

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