To email this teacher?

[LadyWire]

My DD is 18 and at 6th form college. To avoid dripfeeding she has ASD, depression and anxiety. She is extremely emotionally underdeveloped compared to her peers.


Her a-level English teacher told a tale today about seeing a cat being hit by a car and hitting it with a tennis racquet to "put it out of its misery" before throwing it to the side of the road. He then kept referring back to it throughout the lesson.


DD has come out of college inconsolable. I've emailed the teacher telling him that a) what he did was appalling and b) it's not an appropriate subject to speak to a class about. AIBU to be angry enough to contact him or should I have ignored it? Tbh I'm tempted to report him to college and to the RSPCA.

[yawning801]

YADNBU to report him to the college, but I would see what they say before contacting the RSPCA.

[LadyWire]

Thank you. I'm going to wait for a reply from him before deciding my next move. DD is inconsolable.

[LadyWire]

Thank you. I'm going to wait for a reply from him before deciding my next move. DD is inconsolable.

[HopefullyAnonymous]

It’s not pleasant, but preferable to leaving it to die slowly in agony I’d have thought?

[BertrandRussell]

It may have been the best thing to do in the circumstances. But he was very wrong to talk about it in the way he did.

[FellOutOfBed2wice]

Are you sure it wasn’t a joke?

[Purplepeonies]

You may be waiting a while for a response as he may not directly email you back. Depends on the policy but it might need to be passed on to his head of department/pastoral staff.

[shivermytimbers]

Could it be that he was illustrating a point with this story but your DD took it literally? If so, I would want him to be aware that this isn't an appropriate teaching style for many students who take things literally But, if he actually bludgeoned a cat to death, that's just weird and I would want him spoken to by senior management.

[Storminateapot]

My DD is also 18 and in sixth form. She has no difficulties such as you describe but I know would have been equally very distressed to hear that story and I would have judged it inappropriate to discuss so graphically and repeatedly, it's not something I would want to hear either, to be honest, and I'm 50!

[MrsDustyBusty]

There's a chance that there's a nuance to the story which will become apparent in his reply.

[sonjadog]

I think you need some more context. Is this the explanation of a metaphor in a book? Why did he bring it up at all and keep referring to it? Surely there must have been some point in it rather than as a random anecdote?

[Hercules12]

Dd is in year 9 and I wouldn't have an issue with this.

[Moussemoose]

The teacher is building up relationships with the students by sharing an incident like that he might be illustrating a point relating to many aspects of English language or his own frailty and short comings.

Life happens to teachers as well, when you are dealing with young adults sharing and discussing life events is good practice.

We have no idea about the context.

If posters jump in saying the teacher should only refer to curriculum content you are sucking the life out of education. A levels deal with life and death issues they will be discussed in class.

Classroom discussion is a way of introducing young adults to life events.

[LadyWire]

She's 18 but in the lower sixth - some of her class have only just turned 16. He described where it happened as in the village where we live (college is in the nearby town) so she was also fretting it was one of our cats. Surely most people would call a vet or the RSPCA, not hit it with a tennis racquet? I'm waiting for his reply before I do anything, I'm aware that will probably be tomorrow.

[MrsDustyBusty]

Surely emailing him was doing enough? What more do you propose to do?

[lookatyourwatchnow]

You are being ridiculous. For a start, the teacher hasn’t done anything worthy of complaining about. Secondly, you can’t micro manage what information your 18 year old hears.

[headinhands]

Christ, you definitely need to talk to the school and her supporting member of staff. That’s an awful thing to have stuck in your head going round and round . If she lets you, give her a hug from me. 💐

[Maelstrop]

My DH has told me colleagues have had to use a spade (sharp edge, one presumes) when coming across an animal that's been run over but isn't dead, quicker than a prolonged and agonising trip to a vet/wildlife sanctuary.

I'm not sure how one dispatches a cat with a tennis racquet or how this was a relevant story to the lesson? Is he aware of her SEND?

[Moussemoose]

headinhands

You really think that is so awful?

Let's hope OPs daughter is not studying English Lit (King Lear), RE (crucification), History (war - any of them), Biology (natural selection) or, well, any other A level!

[isadoradancing123]

She is 18 and will have to learn to live in the real world, the world won't revolve around her needs

[Moussemoose]

crucification should be crucifixion

[Footle]

And let’s hope she doesn’t become aware of the life story of any of the refugees from war zones who may well be fellow students.