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To not want to commit to looking after friend's kid

(74 Posts)
Jerseysilkvelour Wed 08-Nov-17 16:31:31

In September Mum friend of mine begged me to look after her child for a couple of days during October half term as she was stuck, had no one else to ask, her options are so limited etc etc. Week before half term I checked she still needed it, yes thanks so much etc etc.... so I arranged an activity for our kids, mine was v excited about it and having a friend round.

That weekend she text me and said she didn't need me to look after her kid after all, she made other arrangements. I was supposed to have her mon and tues.

Now she has asked me again for xmas hols - desperate again, no other options etc etc, I said I'd have to look at my calendar.

StealthPolarBear Wed 08-Nov-17 16:33:34

A CF thread grin
But that's not good, poor dd

Justbookedasummmerholiday Wed 08-Nov-17 16:34:57

"That's fortunate cf friend, I have just advertised as a child minder and I have some slots free - shall I send you the list of fees?"

dustarr73 Wed 08-Nov-17 16:35:07

Say no,Christmas time and you have plans.Cf is right.

Fruitcorner123 Wed 08-Nov-17 16:36:02

Say no. The christmas hols are family time.

eyestotheskies Wed 08-Nov-17 16:36:10

What's cf?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Wed 08-Nov-17 16:38:02

"Not after what happened at half term, no."

Justbookedasummmerholiday Wed 08-Nov-17 16:38:18

Cf =cheeky fucker grin

verystressedmum Wed 08-Nov-17 16:39:02

Do you want to look after her?

Fruitcorner123 Wed 08-Nov-17 16:41:35

milk is right you should really refer back to half term and say how you made plans, your DC was diaappointed etc. That way she might actually realise she is a CF. If you hate confrontation like me just say you are busy!

Jerseysilkvelour Wed 08-Nov-17 16:42:15

I don't mind looking after the kid, but I do mind having the piss taken out of me!

ColinCreevy Wed 08-Nov-17 16:43:58

"Afraid not, we already have a number of things planned over the Christmas holidays. Hope you get something sorted!"

Then go broken record if she keeps asking.

Pancakeflipper Wed 08-Nov-17 16:45:42

I'd tell her you are reluctant as last time agreed had stuff planned and DD was really upset when she cancelled.

See what she says..that's if you are considering helping her out. If you aren't then say sorry but no.

Only1scoop Wed 08-Nov-17 16:47:19

No chance

Aeroflotgirl Wed 08-Nov-17 16:48:24

Just say no your busy.

BarbarianMum Wed 08-Nov-17 16:49:12

I dunno. She may have felt a cf for asking you to have her dd if she didn't really need you to. Ideally though she should have talked to you about it.

scrabbler3 Wed 08-Nov-17 16:51:46

It seems that you're happy to do it (you seem very nice) but are wary about disappointing your own DC if it is cancelled again. Tell her that.

HerOtherHalf Wed 08-Nov-17 16:53:08

Playing devil's advocate but it's not impossible she actually thought she was doing you a favour cancelling on you at half term. Did you think to mention to her then that actually you and your DC were really looking forward to it and had made plans? Life is too short to fall out with friends when they don't even realise they've put your nose out of joint. Speak to her, explain you were disappointed before and (assuming you want to) offer to go with the x-mas proposal but only if she sticks to it this time.

troodiedoo Wed 08-Nov-17 16:54:50

"How can you ask me that after last time, have you no shame woman?"

Or just say no, sorry not possible.

JuniUmiZoomi Wed 08-Nov-17 16:55:38

Thing is, all she had to say is 'I'm trying to arrange childcare, would it be a pain if I ask you to be backup if it falls through?' and then you didn't need to tell your DC and were fully in the picture. As it is she's messed you about. What do you want to do OP?

Dozer Wed 08-Nov-17 16:57:09

Just say it’s inconvenient.

Dozer Wed 08-Nov-17 16:58:13

Is this free childcare as a favour, a reciprocal arrangement, or would she be paying you?

The latter is dodgy under the law, although many people do it.

HartlandRoad Wed 08-Nov-17 17:03:03

No, she's probably using you as backup plan and won't hesitate to cancel at the last minute again.

Jerseysilkvelour Wed 08-Nov-17 17:03:12

No payment. This is not a regular or reciprocal arrangement and nor have we ever had one (I have one of those with another friend and it works really well) . And she did know I'd planned activity, that's why I checked with her week before that it was still on.

I'm heading for a big fat no aren't I smile

BriechonCheese Wed 08-Nov-17 17:05:46

"It's not something I can commit to, with the possibility your plans will change and throw ours out of whack. Still lots of time until Xmas, have you asked zyx at school? I know her childminder has a slot blah blah."

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