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To insist we move house.

(13 Posts)
Newmummy332 Wed 08-Nov-17 14:00:35

Long story short but me and DH brought a doer upper a few years ago due to us not being able to afford a ready done house. It's been a Labour of love and we have eventually finished. My DH has done a lot of the work himself and as such is quite proud. It's a period property and quite large for our needs.

The difficulty is we brought the house before children and now we have a 1 year old. The size in now getting on top of me. I'm tired of cleaning it, I'm sick of house work and with it being a period property repairs are common and costly and bills are high.

We both work full time and I'm tired. I want to move to a smaller house with lower running costs, get a cleaner, a dishwasher, a dryer and a robot hoover (all of which we don't have presently, no money or no room in layout) with the savings and make our lives easier. He wants to stay in our home as we have spent so much time and money on it.

I can see both of our views but were at a stalemate. Who is right?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Wed 08-Nov-17 14:02:34

I can see both sides to be honest. Is there a 3rd option? He steps up and does more around the house or you both chip in for a cleaner?

2014newme Wed 08-Nov-17 14:06:10

Moving is expensive have you factored that in?

BarbaraofSevillle Wed 08-Nov-17 14:07:21

If you have no room for a dishwasher or a dryer in your 'quite large' property, where will you put them in a smaller one?

Now that you're not spending money on doing the house up, don't you have money for a cleaner? How's your budget? Anywhere you could make cutbacks? £100-150 pm would pay for a cleaner for a couple of hours a week and that could make a huge difference and you wouldn't need the robot vacuum then.

RubbishG3nericUsername Wed 08-Nov-17 14:07:28

YANBU, we did exactly that last year (aside from the robot cleaner). We were able to pay off a large chunk of our mortgage, both move to part time work, and have enough left over for great treats and days out for DD. I don't regret moving and downsizing one iota. Good luck with whatever you decide.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea Wed 08-Nov-17 14:12:37

It's a joint decision, its not for either one of you to insist.

(btw, it's bought. You buy a house, you don't bring it)

KimmySchmidt1 Wed 08-Nov-17 14:17:16

I would stay in the big house but would have insisted on shaving off £300 of the decorating costs to buy a bloody dryer - even if it went in the dining room!

how can there not be any room in a big house for cheap dishwasher?

obviously it is a terrible waste of money to now downsize, particularly as you will no doubt want to upsize in a few years when the kid(s) are older.

why are you doing housework if you work full time? if he wants to stay in the house he can do the housework cant he?

Shiftymake Wed 08-Nov-17 14:17:44

Understand your pov but from experience living in a smaller house with a growing family isn't the best idea, unless your current house is massive.

dramallamakarma Wed 08-Nov-17 14:29:30

Could you fit your washer & dryer in your bathroom or garage (if you have one)? Then you’d have room for a dishwasher.

You might be grateful of the space as your child gets older tbh.

SilverSpot Wed 08-Nov-17 14:34:25

Can you move the WM/TD into a bathroom? Or under the stairs? Or build into a cupboard in a room next to the kitchen?

Then you can have a DW. I don't accept to live anywhere without a dishwasher!

Can you get a cleaner? There can#t be THAT much house maintanance that is eating all your disposable income.

BarbaraofSevillle Wed 08-Nov-17 14:40:50

Moving house is expensive and would be a waste of all that work. And chances are you'd end up doing a lot again in a new house unless you found somewhere 'done'. Would you free up a lot of money by moving to a smaller place? Don't forget stamp duty and other costs.

In your shoes I would stay put, live on a very basic budget (cheap food, no days out or Christmas presents etc) for a couple of months to free up money for a dryer and a dishwasher - you only need about £500 for both and then think creatively about where the dryer can go and how to free up space for a dishwasher.

We had our fridge in our dining room for years because it was the only way we could fit a dishwasher in our tiny kitchen.

Also do the moneysavingexpert money make over and budgeting analysis to see if it is possible to free up money for a cleaner.

Bibbidee Wed 08-Nov-17 14:42:37

I'd move but asking him to do this after doing up this home might make him meh.

Ttbb Wed 08-Nov-17 15:18:28

Why don't you tell him to do the cleaning then?

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