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Ex (still married) living with someone on benefits

(19 Posts)
Kristina82 Tue 07-Nov-17 22:04:55

Hi all. New girl here smile
My husband (3 yrs apart) has so far tried taking my daughter off me (failed) abused me through social media, texts, cards through the door and even tried fighting my boyfriend over the past 3 years.
He always cheated on me hence why I finally had the courage to end it after he didn't come home all weekend after our daughter was in hospital for few days with stomach problems.
Anyway.... he's been living with a woman who doesn't work and is on benefits and recently my ex had been bragging to me that he now has a lot more money to play with and is loving life without me, still trying to make me feel jealous even after 3 years. (He's nuts trust me).
Soooo, I reported him and her for benefit fraud as I work full time to put a roof over my daughter she head and yes he pays maintenance but won't even cloth her when she's in his care.
But he'll brag about his lifestyle.
Yes it maybe bit of revenge but my god I've been ill living with him.
Anyway he's now trying to excuse me of fraud! I work full time and so does my boyfriend, yes he stays few nights and I stay at his few nights. He has kids to look after I have my daughter to look after. He pays council tax etc.
Are we in the wrong???
Sorry for long read smile

mrsharrison Tue 07-Nov-17 22:10:18

There's a great saying - "when you plot revenge, remember to dig two graves".
So this lowlife is out of your life (to a point) and you have now invited him back into it.

I understand the desire for revenge but we seldom calculate that they will fight back.

Kristina82 Tue 07-Nov-17 22:17:22

He will not contribute to school trips, clothes for her, school items she has needed. Just about feeds her in his care, doesn't even have toothpaste and toothbrush for her at his, yet turns up to collect her in brand new car bragging he's loving life and is no longer paying rent or (our) mortgage which I'm paying alone.
He's not out of my life by no means as I still get text abuse from him after drink.

Aquathest Tue 07-Nov-17 22:20:14

Hi Op,

Slightly confused- are you asking whether you were wrong to report him for benefit fraud or whether you are committing benefit fraud yourself?

YellowMakesMeSmile Tue 07-Nov-17 22:20:36

As long as you aren't claiming as a single parent you're doing nothing wrong, if you are then it's down to the decision maker to decide if you are a couple and not single.

Cheeseontoastie Tue 07-Nov-17 22:25:25

Surely if your both working full time it doesn't matter how often you both stay at each others house? Thought that just applied to people on benefits?

Quartz2208 Tue 07-Nov-17 22:26:35

Yes what benefits are you recriving

gallicgirl Tue 07-Nov-17 22:28:29

As you both appear to have your sole and main place of residence in different dwellings, with each responsible for your own bills, then no, based on what you've told us you're not committing fraud in any way.

There will be loads of people here who think it's wrong to report people committing fraud especially if you've personal reasons for it but it's theft. If you saw someone stealing in a shop I bet you would say something. If your neighbour saw someone stealing your car or breaking into your house then you'd hope they would say something. Benefit fraud is no different. It is theft from the state, it makes life harder for genuine claimants, reduces the amount of money available and increases everyone else's tax bill.
You don't have to be certain or hold all the evidence. The fraud team will look at that and make a decision to prosecute or not.

Is this healthy for you? Probably not. You will probably not find out if anything happens and you might get grief in return. Personally I think you should disengage. Change your phone number and only contact him about the kids. Block him on social media, reduce the friends you have in common and live a happy life.

SadTrombone Tue 07-Nov-17 22:29:06

@cheeseontiastie a lot if people working full time are still eligible for benefits

Kristina82 Tue 07-Nov-17 22:30:39

Worried if I'm committing fraud

mrsharrison Tue 07-Nov-17 22:30:41

I doubt his life is wonderful but he certainly wants you to think it is.
you should be focusing on how happy you are to no longer be in a relationship with the tool.
You can take legal steps to stop his drunken texts and abuse or have a friend do the handovers. You need to minimise contact.

Cheeseontoastie Tue 07-Nov-17 22:31:12

Yeh I get that but I thought the rule was just for income support for being a lone parent? Which you wouldn't get if employed full time. it doesn't apply to tax credits and child benefit does it??

Kristina82 Tue 07-Nov-17 22:35:38

Thanks for the replies.
Was worried that I was in the wrong.
Just a waiting game now for the divorce letters wanting half his equity even though he hasn't paid it for 3 years.

Aquathest Tue 07-Nov-17 22:36:29

Cheeseontoastie it would also apply to anyone claiming the single person discount for council tax

Kristina82 Tue 07-Nov-17 22:37:21

Also phoned police a couple of times about his abusive texts, they just put a pin on him and a warning. He doesn't care.

YellowMakesMeSmile Tue 07-Nov-17 22:38:54

Yes claiming tax credits as a single person whilst having a partner who stays over can be a case of fraud. It's not just income support. Likewise housing benefit.

Cheeseontoastie Tue 07-Nov-17 22:43:26

Oh right never knew that.

19lottie82 Tue 07-Nov-17 23:34:28

Yellow Yes, it can be, but it’s it as simple as that. As long as you are maintaining 2 seperate homes and are not “living together”, then there is no benefit “fraud”.

ForgotwhatIcameinherefor Tue 07-Nov-17 23:44:06

Just to say, I saw a TV documentary about benefit fraud where it was decided by investigators that 2 individuals were actually "a household" and therefore fraudulently claiming separate benefits at 2 rented addresses.

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